NCIS quotes

Tony

I had no choice.

Ziva

That's a lie.

Tony

Why would I lie to you, Ziva?

Ziva

To save your worthless ass.

Tony

From who, Vance? Mossad?

Ziva

You jeopardized your entire career and for what?

Tony

For you. He was playing you Ziva.

Ziva

And for some reason you felt it was your job to protect me?

Tony

I did what I had to do.

Ziva

You killed him!

Tony

If I hadn't you'd be having this conversation with him. But maybe that's the way you'd prefer it?

Ziva

Perhaps I would.

Tony

Okay, why don't you just get this out -- you want to take a punch, take a swing. Get it out of your system! Go ahead, do it!!

Ziva

Be careful Tony, because much like Michael, I only need one.

Tony

And that's what you're really angry about isn't it? That's what's bothering you. It's not that he's dead, it's that your Mossad boyfriend got his ass kicked by a chump like me.

Ziva

You took advantage of him.

Tony

He attacked me, what was I supposed to do? [Ziva knocks Tony down]

Ziva

You saw a glass table, you pushed him back. You dropped him on it. He was impaled in the side by a shard of glass. Bloody. Gasping for air.

Tony

I see you read my report.

Ziva

I memorized it! You could have left it at that. You could have walked away, but no, you let him up. You put a bullet in his chest.

Tony

You weren't there.

Ziva

You could have put one in his leg.

Tony

You-weren't-there.

Ziva

But I should have been.

Tony

You loved him?

Ziva

I guess I'll never know. [walks away leaving Tony on the ground]

My daughter speaks very highly of you.

Gibbs

She's a good agent.

Liaison Officer

Gibbs

She's one of us.

So she tells me.

Gibbs

(referring to Tony who's in interrogation) So's the guy in there.

Agent DiNozzo, my sincere apologies for your wait.

Tony

it's okay. I dig hanging out in concrete bunkers, especially after tweleve-hour plane rides in cramped quarters.

Your sarcasim is noted.

Tony

So's your shirt. Nice style. What is that? Zegna? Cavalli? Got good taste.

I' m not ceratain how my apparel applies to your visit.

Tony

And I'm not certain how you can classify my visit (pause) as a visit. All right, just so we understand, this is what I do for a living. I interrogate people all day long, so I know all the tricks of the trade and nothing you do is going to intimidate me.

Interrogate? This is an assembly room. It's a place for mutual discussion. You have yet to see our interrogation room. But if you continue with your childish arrogance, I promise you will.

Vance

How many times did I tell DiNozzo to leave his smart ass attitude back in DC!

Gibbs

You shoulda checked his bags.

Vance

I thought you said your boy was up to this.

Gibbs

You're the one who threw him to the wolves, Leon. Let him find his own way.

Vance

You call this a fight, he better start showing me something.

Gibbs

Take him off the team, he already has.

Oh, Agent DiNozzo, what you need to understand is that I am very aware of of who you are. Your achievements.. and your misjudgments.

Tony

Okay, stop right there. If this is about my Twitter page, I just clarify I had a couple of cocktails and, what can I say? Sometimes I get a little chatty.

Do you know who I am?

Tony

You're the Director of Mossade ... and Ziva's father. Although, I'm not sure which one's asking the questions.

Tony

He killed an American agent.

An accident. Unlike his death, which was intentional. But what was behind that intent? Retribution for an agent you had never even met? You knew that Officer Rivkin would be at Ziva's apartment.You went there to confront him.

With traffic, I wasn't expecting you for another hour.

Ziva

I drove.

Enough said.

When did you start wearing so much makeup?

Ziva

Nice to see you, too.

Saleem Ulman

[to a hostage Ziva] Tell me everything you know about NCIS.

Tony

You hit him high, I'll hit him low!

McGee

I don't like the sound of that...

Tony

You hit him low, I'll hit him high!

Tony

(v.o.) Our team consisted of a gang of four. My partner is Tim McGee: small muscles, big brain, heart of a lion. Together we're virtually unstoppable... virtually.

McGee

I got him... Tony, he's going for the knife!

Tony

(v.o.) Our team leader is the fearless Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Former Gunnery Sergeant, Marine sniper, coffee afficianado, and functional mute.

McGee

(panting) Piece of cake.

Tony

(panting) Yep, easy as pie.

Tony

Come on, computers are your thing! If I had a thing I'd want to show it off.

Gibbs

There are rules against that, DiNozzo.

McGee

(speaking loudly) Thanks for volunteering me.

Tony

C'mon. You said you always wanted to travel.

McGee

On my own time.

Tony

On your own dime? Are you crazy, you could never afford this!

Saleem Ulman

[leads a hooded figured into the interrogation room, sitting them in a chair] Questions are being asked in town about missing NCIS agents. I am concerned that US forces might be mobilized. One of you will tell me the identities and locations of the operatives in the area, and the other will die. [removes hood, revealing Ziva] I will give you a moment to decide who lives. [leaves the room]

Tony

[smiles painfully at Ziva] So... how was your summer?

Ziva

Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you?

Tony

[nods] You're welcome. So, are you glad to see me?

Ziva

You should not have come.

Tony

All right, then. Good catching up. I'll be going now. [tries to stand, but is chained to the chair] Oh, yeah, I forgot. [chuckles] Taken prisoner!

Ziva

Are you all right, McGee?

McGee

I'm just glad you're alive.

Ziva

You thought I was dead?

Tony

Oh, yeah.

Ziva

Then why are you here?

Tony

McGee -- McGee didn't think you were dead.

Ziva

Tony! Why are you here?

Tony

[painful pause as Tony tries fight the truth serum] Couldn't live without you, I guess.

Ziva

So you will die with me. You should have left me alone.

Tony

Okay. Tried, couldn't. Listen, you should know I've taken some kind of truth serum, so if there's any questions you don't know the answer to --

Ziva

I did not ask for anyone to put themselves in harm's way for me. I do not deserve it.

Tony

Is that what you're doing out here? Some kind of monastic experience? Penance?

Ziva

It is justified.

Tony

Get over yourself.

Ziva

I have.

Ulman

[while he is holding a knife to Ziva's throat] I don't make bargains.

Tony

Do you make pizza?

Tony

There's something I haven't told you, yet.

Ulman

What is that?

Tony

I've told you about the brains. I've told you about the guts. I've told you about the muscle. The scientist, the politician, the leader. I told you about every member of the team, except myself. The part I play.

Ulman

Which is?

Tony

I'm the wildcard. I'm the guy who looks at the reality in front of him and refuses to accept it. Like right now I should be terrified, right, but I'm not. Because I just can't stop thinking about the movie True Lies. You know, where Arnie's strapped to the chair and shot full of truth serum. He picks his cuffs and kills everybody. You have thirty seconds to live, Saleem.

Ulman

[sneers] You're still bound. You're lying.

Tony

I can't lie. And I didn't say I was going to be the one to kill you. Remember when I told you my boss was a sniper?

Gibbs

[into radio] Go.