I can find an H-waffle double zigzag waffle, I can find a double zigzag H-waffle double zigzag, but not a zigzag double H-waffle zigzag.
I see a fish riding a unicorn.
S6 E19Hide and Seek
[imitating Gibbs] Gear up!
You're not Gibbs.
[imitating Gibbs] There's a gun found at a Navy base housing.
Abby, that doesn't warrant a team call-out. A: There are thousands of guns on a Navy base..
..and B: You're not Gibbs.
Ok, what if I told you that the base MP's gave me the gun to test.
Doesn't warrant a team call-out. [Ziva and Tony shake their heads in unison]
And the gun was found under a kid's bed. And, it was loaded.
Still does not warrant a call-out.
[Abby drinks from Gibbs' coffee cup and gags]
And it was recently fired.
TZTony, Ziva and McGee
It's not a call-out!
[walking into the office] You heard the lady. Gear up!
They only listen to their master, Gibbs. Only you can crack the whip. [hands coffee to Gibbs] Only you can drink the swill.
S6 E20Dead Reckoning
PPerry
Any word on my immunity?
Well, I hear zinc lozenges help, but you might want to try some vitamin C or echinacea. Oh, you mean your immunity? No.
KKort
Secret lovers could no longer live in a lie.
[on the phone outside the safehouse] Tony, we have been compromised.
What are you talking about, Ziva? Is this a drill??
PPerry
Did she get my medicine?!
I'm going around the back.
Come here. Let's go. What are you doing?! Let's go! [sees Ziva walk in the door] Should we go?
We are more vulnerable in transit. Take cover.
PPerry
What is she going to do?
You know, I don't really know. Bathroom, now.
[calls Gibbs on speakerphone and places phone on the table, then draws two pistols]
Yeah? Gibbs.
We have a situation at the safehouse.
Well, yeah, Ziva. What is it?
Just a second. [both men break in a door each, only to be shot dead]
Ziva? Ziva! Ziva, talk to me!
Under control. [hangs up]
[smiles and hangs up]
[in a newscaster voice] In a tragic story of obsessive hobbying turned deadly, an NCIS agent was discovered in his basement, crushed between a large homemade boat, and an even larger bottle of bourbon!
Abby, no one was hurt. Tony and Ziva are fine.
They're not fine! Not as long as someone is leaking information! I mean, how else would Siravo have known about our meeting with Flores and that we had Perry? [McGee shrugs] See?? No one is safe until I find this leak.
Any luck?
No! There were no unusual outgoing calls from the NCIS switchboard. I ran all the phone numbers for everyone with knowledge of the crime: Gibbs, Tony, Ziva, you, me, home, cell and office.
You ran your own home phone records?
Yeah. Gibbs orders.
In a topsy-turvy world where nothing is as it seems, the one place you can turn to is the wall! [slaps his hands on the NCIS Most Wanted wall]
We ran his prints. The coma man is indeed Jonathan Siravo.
Yes. The master of pirates can't change his diapers, but running an international crime syndicate?! That he can do in his sleep! [glares] You lied to me, wall!
The rest of it is mostly spreadsheets, bank accounts and porn... spreadsheets and porn, that's two totally different things.
Yeah, I already know that, Abs.
Okay, I was just checking.
TTrent
Status on the Borealis?
It's a boat, and it's missing. Status on you is you're really irritating and I wish you were missing.
You would have done things differently?
I would. I do. But in the last two minutes, you've gotta let your quarterback call the plays. Nice win.
S6 E21Toxic
Oh, I remember those days. When I was carefree and full of joy. I envy you, Tony.
Why are you dressed for a funeral, Abby?
Is everything okay?
No. Frank is sick.
Who is Frank?
My mandibular second molar. It's been killing me for a week. I'm finally going to the dentist.
You name your teeth?
You don't?
This is nice. Being able to work without Tony's incessant babbling. It is almost as if he cannot go on for more than thirty seconds without hearing his own voice. You know, the truly amazing thing is that he fails to realize just how irritating he is to those around him.
Ziva!
Yes, Gibbs?
Babbling.
Heller made the bullet and I made the gun.
Huh. Assassination made easy, but I mean really, a gun would be easier.
He didn't build it to kill someone.
He built it to sell it.
[sarcastically] Perfect. Hi, I'm Abby Sciuto: International bio-weapons dealer.
[to Gibbs] I can hear you staring.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.