TV show quotes
Well my friend who went to NYU said that this guy was the club king of New York. He was almost legendary.
Well if he wasn't before he most certainly is now.
And apparently he only eye up models and A-list celebrities. This guy got the VIP treatment everywhere he went.
You writing a gossip column Palmer?
I'm not getting any reception. How about you?
I'm bra-less.
I noticed that earlier, but on your phone they're bars.
Don't you have anything better to do than correct my English?
Why are you on top of me?
I'm protecting you, Tony.
Don't.
Well, you didn't seem to mind when we were undercover.
That might have something to do with the fact that you were naked.
Perhaps if it were warmer in here, hmm?
Let me rephrase the question: why are you still on top of me? [Ziva smiles]
Hey, if this thing goes off-
This is not your fault, I know.
No, I was going to say...your life would have more meaning if you'd slept with me.
If you'd had anything else on your mind, I might have.
Really?
No.
I can't tell where we are going.
There are only three ways we are going to get there: Train --
That's quaint. We could be like those homos in those old movies
Hobos! Not homos.
Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me...
Where are you going?
I've been locked in a box with Tony all day. The ladies' room!
[Tony and Ziva in plain clothes get caught by a gun-holding security officer while searching a suspect's house]
Relax, quickdraw, we're Feds.
Yeah? What agency?
NCIS.
Never heard of it.
Naval Criminal Investigative...
Never-heard-of-it.
[sighs] Never actually get used to that. You think you will, but you never do.
[speaking into his radio] Central? Got two suspects claiming to be Feds.
[glances at the radio] No little red light on the radio means the radio not working.
[Ziva escapes her cuffs and subdues the obnoxious Security Officer, aiming her gun at him.]
Nobody's going to shoot anyone. Right, Officer David?
He called me a dirtbag.
[whimpering] I'm sorry, ma'am.
[angrier] "Ma'am"?
[Tony facepalms]
You haven't met our hacker.
He's good?
Does a bear sit in the woods?
Are you the crackerjack team on this job?
She's Israeli.
Look, I know I got the bear thing right.
[to Gibbs] Thank you, sir.
Don't call me sir.
Thank you, ma'am.
[The team tracks their kidnap victim's cell phone to two teens sneaking beer in the woods.]
Who's on the phone?
Uh, my girlfriend.
[Ziva takes the phone.]
[sexy voice] Hi... [giggles] Oh, my God, don't touch me there!
What?
He's gonna have to call you back, bye!
Wait a second...!
[hangs up, to Danny] You're busted.
[Trying to identify a sound] Train tracks?
Yes, that would be the obvious choice, but there isn't a second thunk or a thack, not even a thock on the track.
You've been reading a lot of Dr. Seuss books?
You know I love me some Theodore Geisel.
[to Gibbs] If I finish quickly maybe I can get back to Habitat for Humanity. I'm doing a bunch of wiring for them this weekend.
We'll see Abby.
Thank you, sir.
Don't call me sir.
Thank you, ma'am.
You're not the only one that came into work dressed differently today.
I saw Tony and Ziva.
I was talking about me! Here's a hint...I'm not one of Village People!
Oh no, the habitat for humanity was this weekend? Abby, Abby I'm so sorry, okay I'm sorry I completely forgot. You must hate me!
(meaning she is still in love with him) I could never hate you McGee. (Places her hardhat on his head) Don't let it happen again.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
