Eric Beale quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Eric

No food or beverages in Ops.

Nell

Who says?

Eric

Doesn't seem right.

Nell

She's not here, Eric.

Eric

No, she's not.

Nell

She resigned.

Eric

Yes, she did.

Nell

She's somewhere in Eastern Europe.

Eric

Most likely.

Nell

She has zero control over what you do. What you say or what rules you choose to break. [puts a bag of cookies down]

Eric

And yet... [sips his coffee] Did you say "Oreos?"

Eric

Detective and Agents, can I have your attention? Acting Operations Manager Hunter requests your presence in the Operations Center. ASAP. Thank you. [goes back to Ops]

Callen

What the Hell was that?

Kensi

That was Hunter - forbidding Eric from whistling.

Callen

[Eric starts showing some video footage] Can you read what she's saying, Kens?

Eric

I ran the footage through a lip reading program.

Kensi

[Offended] Excuse me? [scoffs] A computer program can't duplicate a skilled human lip reader.

Eric

Well, the software suggest she's saying something about gambling.

Deeks

Gambling?

Kensi

[scoffs and watches the footage] ... It's possible.

Deeks

Eric, I need you to run a plate for me. 2, S as in Slayer, M as in Metallica, A as in Anthrax, 5-6-4, P as in uh, parsnip.

Eric

Parsnip? Your lettering system is Heavy Metal bands, and you're giving me a root vegetable for P?

Deeks

I don't know, man. I drew a blank.

Eric

Pantera? Hello.

Deeks

Oh. Cowboys from Hell. What was I thinking?

Nell

If it's on the road, it'll show up. I mean you can't hide from Kaleidoscope... You have started a Kaleidoscope search.

Eric

Not exactly. I plugged into the LAPD database. As soon as the car is found, I will get an alert.

Nell

You're right. That's not exactly a Kaleidoscope search. So... what are we waiting for?

Eric

We?

Nell

You.

Eric

Hetty told Sam no use of Federal resources for personal matters.

Nell

Is this the same rebel Eric Beale who completed Level 5 of Warrior Quest on the big screen in Ops? The same rebel who dared to eat Oreo cookies in Ops without a napkin. The same rebel who broke the Internet.

Eric

But it's Hetty.

Nell

But it's Sam.

Eric

I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place.

Nell

Mmm... you are.

Eric

While Hetty scare me intellectually. I fear Sam on a more physically visceral level... All right, Beale, let's do this!

Eric

[Finding Sam's car has been torched] Who's going to tell Sam?

Nell

Technically he asked you to find it.

Eric

It was your motivational speech that got us out here in the first place. Maybe it's a sign.

Nell

What? That we both tell him?

Eric

No. that neither of us tell him.

Nell

Ooo.

Eric

I mean, no good can come from this, Nell.

Nell

All right, what he doesn't know can't hurt him.

Eric

Agreed... We never saw this.

Nell

Saw what?

Nell

I mean, I know why I sent the flowers to myself, so what's your excuse?

Eric

When I saw that someone else had given you flowers, I I-I felt...um...

Nell

Competitive?

Eric

Competitive. I felt competitive. Competitive with you. That's a good word for it. So, I took the flower from Hetty's desk.

Nell

You took a flower from Hetty's desk.

Eric

Yeah. She cuts them herself. It's a big bunch. Hetty will never miss it.

Nell

Hm-hmm.

Eric

I'm doomed, aren't I?

Nell

You sacrificed yourself to compete with me.

Deeks

Rand's dead. Gunshot wounds.

Eric

Are you sure he's dead?

Deeks

Eric, I'm looking right at the body.

Eric

Well,that's really weird.

Hetty

Why?

Eric

Because there's another email being composed right this second from Rand to Khaleed's compound.

Hetty

Crash that network *now*! Whatever you have to do. Bring it down. Do not let that get email get out!

Eric

It's part of the C.I.A.'s network. It's not going to be easy.

Hetty

Deeks, Kensi, you have to get to Rand's computer *now*!

Kensi

Hey, Nell, whatever happened to that file I asked you for? The one on the aryan low rider that Deeks shot at the park.

Nell

Oh right, um, I'm sorry I guess I forgot.

Kensi

You never forget anything, Nell.

Nell

Um, yeah. I told them this wouldn't work.

Eric

Okay, so right after you guys left Monica Lee's office, she called a pay phone located two blocks away from the LAPD Precinct. I'm seeing a dozen other incoming calls to her PDA over the past few days, all from pay phones within walking distance of the same area.

Callen

So the mole's definitely a cop or someone who works closely with them.

Sam

And he's making life way too easy for Fisk. If we don't find him, that RDX is as good as gone.

Kensi

[Entering Ops] You kept me in the dark!

Callen

Please tell me you didn't waterboard Nell.

Kensi

The guy Deeks killed this morning, he isn't dead. He's an undercover NCIS agent working out of D.C. , who, in fact, just landed in Dulles Airport alive and well. You stuck fake tattoos on him and made me believe that my partner shot an unarmed man. Why would you do that?

Sam

Had to be convincing for LAPD and Bates or else they never would have taken Deeks back.

Nell

Sorry guys.

Callen

The woman Deeks rescued is also one of ours.

Sam

The whole thing is a setup.

Kensi

That is why you stationed me and Deeks so far away from Fisk and the Aryans. The op this morning wasn't about them. It was about your ruse. I knew something was off. I knew it!

Callen

We suspected Fisk had a mole. It was a ploy to force Bates to cut ties and take Deeks back from us.

Kensi

Do you guys have any idea what I've been through today?

Sam

It was Hetty's call, Kensi.

Nell

Ugh. It's my mom again. She's wondering why everyone's home but me.

Eric

What do you tell them?

Nell

Working. I'm a TV News Editor. What about you?

Eric

Professional Blackjack Player.

Nell

Really?

Eric

True until I got banned from Vegas.

Eric

Did I just meet your parents?

Nell

Guess so.

Eric

What have they heard about me?

Nell

Well,

Nell

Ooo, you got a hit. Better call Sam.

Nell

You get a hit on the SUV?

Eric

Kaliedescope's got nothing. You'd think that a car with front end damage and bullet holes in the windshield would make this easier.

Nell

This is L.A...

Nell

Somebody is out there trying to kill her.

Eric

I know, we've got to stay cool. This is Hetty, right? She's always three steps ahead of everyone. She's tactically brilliant, ridiculously courageous, experienced, resourceful. I mean, if Mata Hari and Genghis Khan had a daughter, it'd be Hetty.

Nell

Or General Patton and Joan of Arc.

Eric

Exactly. Her kung fu is strong, and her magic is powerful. Say it.

Nell

Her kung fu is strong, and her magic is powerful.

Eric

Don't underestimate Hetty. She never underestimates us.

Kensi

What would you like me to do.

Eric

I don’t know, really.

Kensi

Well Hetty said I was supposed to be helping so, there’s gotta be something for me to do

Eric

Uh, well, I’ve got a pretty big knot in my shoulder right now. I’m just kidding! Of course I’d never ask you to do anything like that. (whispering) Even though it would be helping.

Kensi

Oh really? So Nell would be massaging you right now?

Eric

Um no. Because she’d be busy actually doing something.

Kensi

What would she be doing, Eric?

Eric

Remotely accessing Davis’ computer, mirroring the hard drive and initiating an SSH P3 protocol for a complete sweep.

Eric

Righty.