Marty Deeks quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Kensi

I wouldn't mind tailing Agent Ambrose

Deeks

He's cagier than a loaded weasel....What? They can be pretty cagey!

Kensi

I never leave my weasel loaded

Deeks

I bet you don't

Sam

Do I need to separate you two?

Sam

Hey, Kensi.

Kensi

Yeah.

Sam

What happens when Mercury is in retrograde?

Kensi

Deeks gets retro-annoying.

Deeks

Wow.

Kensi

Oh, come on. Problems happen all the time, and three times a year, we have to blame it on Mercury? Ridiculous.

Sam

Sounds like an urban myth.

Callen

It's more like a superstition.

Deeks

Don't do it, don't taunt Mercury.

Callen

Or what, the guy in the chariot's gonna stop pulling the sun around the Earth.

Granger

(about the off-the-book operation) Do you have any idea what you've done?

Callen

Retrieved our technology?

Sam

Made the world a better place?

Deeks

And looked good while doing it.

Deeks

Okay, honestly, who still uses a pay phone? I'd rather kiss the Outbreak monkey than use a pay phone.

Kensi

How are you a germaphobe? I've seen your apartment.

Deeks

Okay, I'm fine with my own germs, and you, of all people, should not be giving housekeeping notes. I've seen cleaner litter boxes.

Kensi

Oh, meow.

Kensi

Damn it, Deeks, you asked me out on a date without actually asking me out on a date. Now, if this keeps going this way and we can't communicate, and we've been over this, you never say what you mean, a-and if this is the way it's gonna be, then I don't know how we're ever gonna--

Deeks

I don't want to be here with you right now.

Kensi

What?!

Deeks

I want to be at my place, right now... with you.

Deeks

I'm honestly just trying to make this work.

Kensi

It's not going to work. I'm standing on my frozen lake.

Deeks

[Gives Kensi a confused look] I'm sorry, I don't know what that is

Kensi

Your frozen lake is the name for what you want the most in the world and you want it, you want it so bad that you'll do anything to get it. And your heart takes over. But because of that, it destroys you in the end. It's right there, just sitting in the middle of this frozen lake, and you think you're fast enough to go out and grab it before the ice cracks...

Deeks

And what you don't realize is you're already standing on the ice and it's falling apart around you.

Kensi

Yeah.

Kensi

We're gonna figure this out. All we gotta do is talk about it.

Deeks

Okay but you don't, you don't really like talking about it.

Kensi

Yeah but I promise I'll be better at talking about this.

Deeks

What do you, what do you mean for this?

Kensi

This...you know

Deeks

This thing?

Kensi

Yes...Our...Thing

Deeks

I'm sorry I just, I didn't hear you. There were so many people walking by if you could just maybe say it louder, just once just say it!

Kensi

I hate you.

Deeks

You don't. You don't. You don't hate me!

Kensi

Our thing.

Hetty

And you two can go interview the senator.

Deeks

The two of... You mean the two of me?

Hetty

I want you and Nell to see the senator, find out if he knows anything about these Chinese PLA threats.

Deeks

Me and... Nellosaurus?

Hetty

Yes, I move fast, Mr. Deeks. Gotta keep up.

Nell

Let's go, Shaggy.

Deeks

Well played. I'm with you, Velma.

Callen

How are you?

Kensi

Good.

Sam

Yeah?

Kensi

Really good.

Deeks

You look good. I mean that you seem good by the way that you look.

Kensi

It's because I am good.

Callen

Good.

Deeks

Good.

Sam

Good!!

Deeks

Hey.

Kensi

Hi.

Deeks

We haven't had a lot of time to chat since you've been back.

Kensi

I know. It's gonna change.

Deeks

You mean ... it's gonna change? Does that mean that? Wait a minute, are you back?

Kensi

Sure looks like it.

Deeks

That's good news. I was getting a little worried, because, uh, I'm pretty sure Nell was falling in love with me.

Deeks

Aah! God! (smiling) And there she is.

Kensi

Here I am. It's good to be back.

Deeks

Oh, hi, wow. What're.. what? What are we doing here? What's that?

Kensi

I'm giving her a reason to look over here, and it's either that or I throw my coffee on you!

Deeks

Well thank you so much for not scalding me in the face instead of giving me kisses!

Deeks

I just realised that you're the yin in my yang. So to spoke.

Kensi

Explain to me how you have this capability of making everything sound so wrong.

Deeks

It's a gift, isn't it? I'm just saying, like you're the right of my wrong, I'm like the good to your evil.

Kensi

The beast to my beauty?

Deeks

That's hurtful.

Deeks

I've never noticed that she's not, not attractive.

Kensi

She's beautiful!

Deeks

You're beautiful!

Kensi

I just want to forget what happened

Deeks

Shh, Shh, I know you do. I know you do, but you can't. And the harder you try, the harder it's just gonna fight back, trust me. You just gotta let it out. You have to make peace with it. But that takes time.

Kensi

What's that?

Deeks

Durian. King of fruit. So hot now.

Kensi

Since when is fruit "hot"?

Deeks

Since the Garden of Eden. Then it was an apple, but fruit has evolved.

Kensi

This one might be more evolved than you.