Sam Hanna quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Callen

Agents Callen and Hanna, NCIS.

Major Rick Medina, Army CID out of Washington. I just got an earful from my boss, who got an earful from your boss. Meaning I'm already prone not to like you guys.

Sam

I'm not feeling a lot of love for you right now either.

Eric

This is traffic cam footage pulled from that intersection approximately 15 minutes ago.

Kensi

I'll call Deeks. Make sure LAPD knows we'll be handling this discreetly.

Sam

Eric, pull up everything you've got about this guy.

Eric

According to initial reports, the dead man's name was Michael St. Paris. No criminal record. Employed by North Gate Elite Security. They're a private investigation firm specialising in surveillance work.

Sam

He was running a tail. G caught him, so St. Paris bolted. I'll call North Gate and see who hired him.

Eric

Callen left the crash scene almost immediately. He must have stuck to blind spots and moved fast because no cameras got him. Also, his phone went dead right after he sent that alert to Hetty. Off the grid.

Kensi

Could this have anything to do with Agent Macy's murder in Annapolis?

Hetty

No. It's unrelated.

Nate

What's Callen going to do now?

Hetty

What he does best. Become a ghost.

Sam

Um, so we can't find him?

Hetty

Not until he's ready to be found.

Callen

[Seeing a box with his name on it] See if they've got one on you, or Hetty.

Sam

[Long pause as Sam searches] Nothing on me. Two boxes on Hetty.

Hetty

The agent's name is Trent Kort... Sam and Kensi, boathouse in half an hour. [Hetty leaves]

Sam

[to Callen] She knows. You can't go. [Callen sighs, then starts to leave] Where you goin'?

Callen

Shoot someone.

I'm rather fond of Los Angeles. [Looks at Kensi] Maybe I'll put in for a transfer.

Sam

I hope not.

Sam

You were a magician once.

Callen

Not magician, illusionist.

Sam

You bought a white rabbit, G.

Callen

It came with the hat.

Callen

I'm all for going green, reducing our footprints, but if Hetty has her way we're going to be reusing our bullets.

Sam

She just wants us to recover our brass, if possible.

Callen

Reusable water bottles, no more paper towels, no more paper cups, what's next to go, huh?

Sam

Saving the planet, G.

Callen

Come on! Don't come whining to me when she replaces our toilet paper with used post its.

Callen

We didn't realize he'd just gotten back from....

Hetty

Oh his assignment, yes.

Sam

Which was where again exactly?

Hetty

He was in the People's Republic of... none of your damn business.

Callen

Is that where he learned how to shoot?

Hetty

Actually, I gave him a few pointers.

Sam

Apparently the People's Republic of none of your damn business can be a dangerous place.

Hetty

What are you doing?

Sam

I need to activate a former alias.

Hetty

Oh, no. NLV. NLV. "No longer viable." Tyrell Ellis was compromised.

Sam

I know. I was Tyrell Ellis, remember?

Hetty

I do remember. I also remember you were nearly killed before we got you out.

Sam

My cover was never blown. I spent seven months undercover working Memo Torres while he was still a cartel underling. Now he's the man. That means he's the fastest route to finding those missing Marines. And the only one who can get to Torres right now, is in this box.

Hetty

The man in this box has a price on his head. Why don't you just arrest Torres?

Sam

We don't have anything on him. We yank him in off the streets and we blow any chance of ever going back under in his organization. Plus, Memo hates cops of any kind. He'll be lawyered up as soon as we bring him in and we may never find those missing Marines, Hetty.

Hetty

[Callen walks in] Oh, Mr. Callen, could you please talk some sense to your partner?

Callen

What, like that's ever worked? Admittedly, putting Sam on the streets as Tyrell Ellis is not without risks. Memo Torres is behind this. Reactivating Tyrell Ellis is the only way to find him.

Sam

It's our only bet, Hetty, and you know it.

Hetty

I don't like it.

Callen

What's the safe word?

Sam

Headlock.

Callen

Really? Use headlock in a sentence.

Sam

I wasn't planning on using it.

Kensi

Nell's been here less than a week, and has already taken over whistle duties. Eric is not a happy camper.

Sam

Ah, he shouldn't worry. It won't be long before she's folding her tent like all the others.

Deeks

Because?

Callen

Many mysteries of Hetty. For some reason intelligence analysts just seem to rub her the wrong way.

I don't know these guys. Navy born and bred. I trust NCIS. Is there a way you can stay on this?

Callen

It's no longer our jurisdiction.

I lost my wife. I can't lose my child. Please.

Callen

I understand, but there's nothing we can...

Sam

We'll see what we can do.

Sam

Trained in wilderness survival, G. I know what poison oak looks like.

Sam

It's on my butt, isn't it?

Hetty

Yes it is, Mr. Hanna. And there's nothing like a good *thick* slathering of calomine. Remove your pants, I won't look.

Hetty

I had to do this for Ollie North in Nicaragua - twice. The man really was an ass.

Hetty

Mr Hanna. Mr. Callen. Gentlemen?

Callen

Kensi, don't let him crowd you. Watch his shoulders. He's telegraphing.

Sam

I thought you were on my side.

Callen

I don't take sides.

Sam

Then stop coaching. Okay.

Callen

Circle to his outside.

Sam

I thought we were partners.

Callen

We are, but I'm having second thoughts. [Sam and Kensi continues to train] It's a tie. Again. Way to go, Kens.

Kensi

Thank you.

Sam

Tough girl. I went easy on her.

Callen

Uh-huh.

Kensi

Oh, please.

Callen

What's up, Deeks?

Deeks

Got a shooting at the Federal Building. What are you kids doing in here?

Kensi

Training.

Deeks

For what, Pirate Fest?

Callen

Well, you're welcome to challenge Captain Blye anytime you want. She just bested Sam ten to three.

Deeks

Really? Did you go easy on her?

Sam

No.

Deeks

Really?

Sam

No.

Deeks

Kensi with a knife? [Kensi shocks Deeks] Ow. Oh, my Aah. Okay, I'm coming. That really hurt.

Callen

What would you do with $25,000,000 in reward money?

Sam

You mean if I wasn't a government employee and I could legally accept it? Ah... probably buy a first class ticket to somewhere real quiet. Really quiet. Someplace you don't take a partner. You?

Callen

I would hire the best private investigator money can buy. And have him track down my partner. Then when I found him...

Sam

You'd follow me?

Callen

Send him Hetty, in an overnight package - with a big bell.

Sam

[chuckles] I wouldn't sign for her.