Sam Hanna quotes from NCIS: Los Angeles

Callen

That's nine.

Sam

Nine what?

Callen

Nine times we've done the... corrupt agent... betrays his partner routine.

Sam

Didn't know you were keeping count.

Callen

You'd keep track too if you were the one getting a knee to the solar plexus.

Hetty

I sense impending mayhem... and perhaps an outrageous petty cash request.

Callen

One simple question, Hetty.

Sam

Do you trust us?

Callen

Did you take anything new away from Renner's?

Kensi

Yes-- these two guys. These jokers waltzed in while we were there, tried to pass themselves off as NSA agents, but they're DGSE -- French Intelligence Agency.

Sam

How'd you know they were bogus?

Kensi

[shrugging] Their accents.

Deeks

They didn't have accents.

Kensi

Do you know the difference between French open syllabic organization and English trochaic speech patterning, Deeks?

Deeks

[awkwardly] That old chestnut?

Sam

Where are they now?

Deeks

Had my LAPD buddies lock 'em up downtown for a few hours. You know, give 'em a taste of the real LA that's not in the star tours.

Callen

They probably have diplomatic immunity.

Deeks

That's exactly why we put them in county. I mean they're going to be lucky if they get to make a phone call by Christmas!

Sam

Hm.

Deeks

Just, uh... don't let Kensi interrogate them.

Callen

Why is that?

Deeks

Well, 'cause the guy on the right, she kicked him right in the nom de plumes.

Sam

No!

Deeks

Guy didn't even have his weapon out!

Callen

Really?

Kensi

I...

Deeks

Uh huh. Right in the cul-de-sac. Kicked him so hard it gave me a stomachache!

Kensi

So what? It would have been better if I had pistol whipped him across the face?

[simultaneously] Yes!

Callen

Anybody see anything?

Eric

Wait a second. I've got one of the guys who killed the cop. He's at the bus stop across the street.

Sam

Three more guys in a Jaguar pulling up behind you, G. [realizes] This is a stakeout.

Deeks

A stakeout for what?

Callen

Us. Cole must have told them about Renner's safe deposit box before they killed him. Without the key, they're stuck.

Kensi

They're waiting for us to get the book. Then they're going to try and take it.

Sam

They got to ID us first.

Callen

[answers his cellphone] Yeah?

Do not move, Agent Callen.

Callen

[looks down and spots a red dot on his chest] Sam, I think they already have.

Kensi

Hetty's never given us anything for Christmas before. Why this year?

Callen

Exactly.

Deeks

Because she knows I like surprises.

Sam

You guys ever feel like we're stuck babysitting some kid whose parents won't come to get him - ever.

Sam

Kensi, I know what you're going through. I've been there.

Kensi

I watched Jack...slip away. Maybe I didn't try hard enough.

Sam

I don't believe that for one minute. I know what it's like to have someone I care about come back from deployment a different person.

Kensi

After all that Talbot's been through, I'm going to do everything in my power to help him!

Sam

Kensi, Talbot's not Jack.

Deeks

The report says it's a home invasion gone bad. Yousef Afzal was killed by blunt force trauma to the head, he was hit, he fell, and then died.

Kensi

And then half autopsied.

Sam

And then stolen.

Callen

That's a bad day, even for a dead guy.

Callen

So why do you steal a dead body?

Kensi

Proof of death.

Sam

Satanic ritual.

Deeks

Cannibalism.

Deeks

I was just thinking outside the box.

Sam

You need to get back in the box.

Deeks

[Kensi is eating her breakfast] You want to talk about it?

Kensi

No.

Deeks

We're - we're here to listen.

Kensi

No, I'm fine.

Sam

Let her eat her feelings in peace.

Sam

You should've told me.

Hetty

That's precisely why I didn't.

Sam

Moe isn't trained for this. He shouldn't be in there alone.

Hetty

He isn't in there alone. You underestimate me, Mr. Hanna. One of our best people is in there with him. Uh, Eric, ISP number 579.72.351.462. Access camera 7.

Eric

Okay.

Nell

I'm sorry where is this?

Eric

Oakville Federal Prison.

Hetty

I'm sure Nate is more than capable of this.

Sam

Besides you don't look like a cop.

Deeks

Okay, that's on purpose! All this [gestures at his face] is so I can work undercover.

Sam

As what? Shaggy from Scooby-Doo?

Kensi

Oh my god, you do look like Shaggy!

Sam

Need to stop this video Eric!

Eric

Video's already in the cloud, the auto run script executable is about to go live, I'm almost there....

Sam

Eric!!

Eric

Video's been disabled guys.

Hetty

What did you just do?

Eric

I used a VNC controller to piggyback the upload with a Trojan and corrupt the streaming data packets by initiating the stack buffer overflow.

Hetty

(pause) In English, Mr. Beal?

Eric

Oh...I broke the Internet.

Kensi

Oh hey, guys! What did Eric do with the video?

Sam

He shut down the Internet.

Kensi

(looking astonished) What....the WHOLE Internet?

Sam

(matter-of-fact) Yeah.

Deeks

Even Twitter? Whoa.

Sam

[about Deeks] The guy gets shot because he doesn't alter his daily routine. I wanted to make sure he got the memo on personal security. Being this is his first day back and all.

Callen

And?

Sam

Got tired of waiting for him to leave home. I guess he slept through his alarm clock.

Kensi

Better call him then.

Sam

...That's my bag.

Sam

What the -?

Deeks

[enters and takes the phone from Sam] That'd be for me.