Ladies and gentlemen! Tonight, at the Copacabana, Jules Bedel proudly presents: Pat Benatar and Tricia Nixon!
“Manos: The Hands of Fate” · Season 4
In this episode: Joel Robinson (15), Crow T. Robot (12), Tom Servo (12), Jack Perkins (2), Dr. Clayton Forrester (1), TV's Frank (1), Jimmy (1)
[As black smoke rises from a pyre, the Master beckons Torgo to rise from the floor.]
[singing to "Smoke on the Water"] Smoke on the weirdo…
CACrow [as Bela Lugosi]
Come here.
The new Pope has not been chosen.
[During a driving scene]
Meanwhile, in Toledo...
No, wait. Did this movie just lap itself?
. . .
CCrow
This must be a weekly series.
[As the end credits roll...]
CCrow
Crew? They had a crew!? I do not believe they had a crew!
Okay, everybody pick out someone you wanna punch.
Where to start?
If you'd like to contact Harold P. Warren, look in the Yellow Pages for the Fertilizer Corporation of Texas.
[The film's penultimate card reads "The End?"]
CCrow
The end? Yes. I mean, no. I wanna change my answer!
No. Always wonder.
[Servo waits impatiently for the card to change.]
COME ON!
[The last card fades in, thanking the city of El Paso.]
Thank you, El Paso! Good night! We're out of here!
We're going to take a break, we've been Manos: The Hands Of Fate.
[They leave the theater.]
[The Mads have just had a pizza delivered by Torgo.]
Say, it's been two hours, but this pizza is still warm!
[Dr. Forrester and Frank suddenly look at each other in horror, and vomit.]
TTorgo
They always do that!
[introducing the movie] Dig this, mes amis: your "average Joe" has never seen a film like today's experiment. Your "average person" on the street has not even begun to conceptualize the horror which is your experiment today, Mr. "Joel Average". I give to you: "Manos": The Hands of Fate, served with a short: the stirring conclusion to Hired!.
[imitating Torgo] "The Master is always here." "The Master will not like it." [laughs] Boy, that Master's got a lot to learn about the hospitality business, doesn't he? I mean that is a weird hotel! By the by, manos is actually Spanish for "hands," so today's film is Hands: the Hands of Fate. Isn't that sneaky?
I hate to say it, but there was one thing about this movie that to me, didn't make much sense. That father seemed like an intelligent fellow, but my gosh he did a terrible job planning that vacation! One hard lesson I've learned is that you've got to plan every step of every day, and that only goes double when you're traveling! It just makes my skin crawl to see a vacation ruined by bad planning! So if you can, join us next time on the Mystery Science Theater Hour, but please be careful.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.