CCrow
I'm actually traveling through time at the rate of one hour per hour.
“The Time Travelers” · Season 11
In this episode: Crow T. Robot (7), Tom Servo (6), Jonah (6), Gypsy (1), Max (1), Kinga Forrester (1), Danny (1), Steve (1)
Rip Torn is Dr. Strange!
[shot of a table of android eyeballs]
CCrow
Think about it: iPad, iPhone, eyeball. This is already happening, folks.
Is it just me, or is this guy spending an inordinate amount of time on this android's, um... and-groin?
"And-groin"? Did you just make that word up?
I had to come up with something. We burned through the words "area" and "crotch".
CCrow
Here comes another one. Parading his "ro-batch" right by the camera. Thank you. Disgusting!
[holding a tray of android eyeballs] Holy McKee! I thought I was giving her the eye!
[sigh] You know, when a beautiful woman of the future really comes on strong and then hands you a tray of eyeballs harvested from her former lovers, maybe you should just stay friends, Danny.
Yeah, Danny. You really think she needed help moving a tray of eyeballs three feet? These are warning signs, man! Wake up!
[as Danny and Reena kiss]
Hey Jonah, it's you and your pillow!
CCrow
Hah!
Hey...
[as Carol finds a storage room filled with wooden boxes full of straw]
Wooden crates stuffed with straw... of the future!
CCrow
Hobo bedding... of the future!
The insides of scarecrows... of the future!
Practical dynamite storage... of the future!
CCrow
Dirty crates filled with excelsior, a straw-like packing material... of the future!
Boxes and boxes of unsold copies of Jerry Maguire... also of the future!
You are pronouncing our death sentence.
SAServo [as Steve]
You dickweed!
WWillard
I don't enjoy doing it.
You resented us from the beginning!
WWillard
I have, but that is not why I'm doing this. I...
CCrow
Line!
WWillard
We must consider the greater good!
CSCrow, Servo, and Jonah
The greater good...
[as the movie abruptly ends]
CCrow
Oh no, the universe lost reception!
[a message from the producer appears onscreen]
The producer wishes to acknowledge that this movie was not all that good.
I doubt those businesses want to be associated with this movie at all.
Well Max, that was the 200th episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. What an achievement.
MMax
If you count the old series, which we had nothing to do with. Technically, this was our third episode.
Okay come on, Disney celebrates fake anniversaries all the time! Donald Duck turns 90, Mickey and Minnie's 25th Anniversary, uh... the 40th Anniversary of pulling Song of the South off the shelves- I don't know! We have got to grab some of these celebration legacy dollars! Bring in the cake!
[the skeleton crew wheels in a cake filled with candles; Max lights a lighter]
No no no, hey! [slaps the lighter from his hand] We are not lighting the candles! This is a nitrogen-rich atmosphere! Wh- ... [sighs] Happy 200th, Max.
MMax
...Yeah, okay.
Push the 200th button, Max.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Mystery Science Theater 3000 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.