My Gym Partner's a Monkey quotes

Henry

OOOH! [singing while taking a shower] ♫ I'm a friendly armadillo / I'm a gentle pussy willow…♫ [notices Jake peeking from behind the curtains when he heard him; screams] Jake, what are you doing?!

That is the best Bari-Falset-Alto-Ano…you sing good! I want to enter you in the school talent show. What's your name, kid?

Henry

Well, it's Henry, Jake. You know that.

Well, Henrietta, I'm going to make you a star.

Henry

It's Henry. I'm a boy.

Well, if you say so. [closes the curtain]

Henry

This song is my soul. I hope you like it. [inhales] OOOH! [sings] ♫ I'm a friendly armadillo / I'm a gently pussy willow / Fear's my one peccadillo / I mastered the barbecue grill-o ♫

Do I have to bite you on the buttocks?!

[jumping] I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you! I'm not touch---

[to the waiter] I'll take the lobster.

Steve, how could you?!

(explaining an assignment involving eggs) Any questions? [a girl Badger happily raises her hand.] No, Lacey, you may not eat the eggs. [Her hand goes down after turning Her smile into a frown]

Spidermonkey was just here. I can almost taste it. [He licks the ground.] YUCK! He's got that Lyon kid with him too. Hey, what the--? Where am I? And how come nobody ever told me? Nobody ever includes me in anything.

Oh! An important message! I better listen to myself!

Ingrid

[trying to comfort Lupe] Lupe, that vulture wasn't good enough for you. Plus, he stank like old meat.

I loved that musky stench! THANKS FOR THROWING SALT IN MY FRESH AND GAPING WOUNDS, INGRID! [flies away]

Ingrid

Salt's very antibacterial.

Pretty bird!

Pretty monkey!

Pretty stupid.

I'LL NEVER KNOW LOVE, AGAIN! [smashes into the locker and slides down onto the floor]

Whoa, Lupe, you've really hit the wall.

Yes. Yes, I have.

Their love is a sight to behold.

And it's so quiet since Lupe stopped screaming all the time.

Ingrid

Adam, you're like some kind of matchmaking genius for setting them up.

Uh…I didn't really set them up.

Looks like that cheesy snow globe is good as mine! [Adam jumps onto him and gets into a catfight with him as he caught him cheating] What are you doing you silly, stinking, hairless head?! Get off of me!

You big cheater! Using those special glasses!

Are you insane?

I say, good fellow. Would you be so kind as to lift me to my locker latch?

Henry

Not at all, James.

What's the matter, Dickie?

[sniffs sadly] Oh, Adam. I spent all me life young life developing this signature look and me peculiar ways. It's what sets me apart from the rest. Bloke sees me and says, "Look, there goes Dickie Sugarjumper and his peculiar ways! Let's throw things at him!" Now, everyone at school has pinched me image and I'm just part of the crowd. [sniffs] It's not fair. It's not fair, I tell you! [breaks down, sobbing] What? What?!

[writing down his notepad] Note to self: Never ask Dickie what's the matter.

You're not gonna be an astronaut all because of the stupid pants?

[enraged] Stupid?! Ohh, that's just what they want you to think!

So this is where it all ends? If I had known I was headed for a premature demise, I'd have eaten more butter.

Ingrid

I'd have spent more time apologizing for things I didn't do.

I'd have eaten more butter.

Hey, that was mine.

Ingrid

I'm sorry!