[answers phone] Hello? No, I'm Sharona, his assistant. Who's this? Hold on, please. [to Monk] Adrian? You have a brother?
[Everyone looks up, surprised. Long pause.]
[into phone] I'm sorry, sir, you must have the wrong Adrian Monk.
[She hangs up. Immediately, the phone starts ringing again.]
Wait, wait... I might have a brother.
You told me you were an only child.
I consider myself an only child. We're not close! He has issues.
[raised eyebrow] Your brother has issues?
Don't you people have work to do?! There's a dead woman over there!
[after meeting Ambrose, Sharona hugs Adrian]
For making my family seem normal.
[To search van Ranken's house, Adrian and Sharona make a surprise visit]
Hi, I'm Sharona Fleming and this is Adrian Monk.
PV Pat van Ranken
[starts breathing heavier] Monk... from next door?
PV Pat van Ranken
You almost gave me a heart attack! That guy hasn't left the house in, what, twenty years?
PV Pat van Ranken
My wife knows him. Isn't he... scared of stuff?
Yes... he's scared of stuff. Stuff... and things.
You're just gonna hide in this house for the rest of your life?
[Adrian believes that the incriminating shell casing they are looking for is in van Ranken's pie]
Mr. Van Ranken, we would like permission to search your pie.
Please, don't make me say it again.
PV Pat van Ranken
And if I refuse?
Then we'll get a search warrant.
PV Pat van Ranken
For a pie?
[Adrian introduces Sharona to Ambrose]
This is my assistant, Sharona.
Hello, we spoke on the phone.
Oh, so you can dial a telephone! I was worried. I thought you might be paralyzed, or something.
You were being sardonic. Sarcasm is a contemptuous ironic statement. You were being mockingly derisive. That's sardonic.
He [van Ranken] was at the park all last night.
Yes, he was parked by the southern entrance.
It's obvious. Why don't you tell her, Adrian?
The yellow acorns on his truck, which can only mean he was parked under a spotted oak tree...
Which means, he parked by the river, at the southern entrance.
Please stop staying "wow."
This detective stuff is easy.
Looks like you got a new partner.
Yeah, for any crime committed within thirty feet of this property.
[Adrian and Sharona spy on van Ranken, rooting through the cherry pie]
He's looking for something. Sharona, that's why he tripped! He didn't want to win the race, he was trying to come in second, he wanted the pie!
Well, obviously, he... [he trails off, and looks around the corner at van Ranken] You see, Sharona, what happened was... [he trails off again, and takes another look around the corner] I have no idea.
[while sitting down to play bingo, a bingo addict carrying a troll doll turns to Adrian]
BA Bingo Addict
Do you want to rub my lucky troll? It's good luck.
BA Bingo Addict
Go ahead. Rub the troll.
No thank you. Uh, I've been rubbing trolls all day.
BA Bingo Addict
If you don't rub the troll, it's bad karma.
[Adrian finally resorts to rubbing the troll aggressively with his shirt sleeve]
CH − Previous episode · S2 E10 Mr. Monk and the Paperboy CH + Next episode · S2 E13 Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Monk pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
