Adrian Monk and Ambrose Monk in “Mr. Monk and the Three Pies”

This is my assistant, Sharona.

Hello, we spoke on the phone.

Oh, so you can dial a telephone! I was worried. I thought you might be paralyzed, or something.

I wasn't paralyzed.

I was being sarcastic.

You were being sardonic. Sarcasm is a contemptuous ironic statement. You were being mockingly derisive. That's sardonic.