Misfits · Season 1
What about them Nazis, hey?
What about 'em?
Very bossy. You're not taking the bait at all. You're making... You're gonna make me come right out and say it. [Whispers]
Are you part of the resistance? [Curtis slams Rudy's head against wall pointing gun at his head] Oh! I'll take that as a yes.! Good. It's nice to meet you, mate!
Who are you?!
I've got one of them bullshit powers! Nazis are after me!
Show me!
Captain Smith. I was just, er...
It looked like you were sitting around, smoking a cigarette.
I was thinking about how best to organise our operations and to maximise efficiency... and... productivity.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Right.
I understand you've caught the man we've been looking for?
We most certainly have.
[Walks into Seth's cell] So... I hear you've been doing good work for us.
Is that what you call it?
How does this work?
Oh, he's... he's gotta touch you.
[Leans into Seth] You know... I can make life very unpleasant for you.
You're all done. It's like taking candy from a baby.
[To Gary mopping] You've missed a patch. We can't keep this man locked in a dirty cell. Just there. [Gary reluctantly walks in and Officer Smith kills him by freezing him] That's very good.
You don't smoke, do you?
[Chuckles] What gave it away?
I don't smoke either. Why should the smokers get all the breaks? I never got a chance to thank you. For covering for me. Why are you with him?
I got caught drink-driving. Um, they were gonna to send me to prison. He got them to drop the charges. You probably think I'm a total slut.
We're all doing what we need to do to survive.
[Sees Seth in his cell] He's fuckin' hung himself! [Opens door with Simon and saves him]
You go in there to kill him and you end up saving his life? Just explain to me exactly how that happens.
I couldn't kill him. He was trying to kill himself.
Then you leave him to it. Job done. He was prepared to hang himself rather than let those bastards have the powers.
He's on our side.
That's no good to us if the Nazis have got him. We missed our shot. We might not get another.
Hmm, now then. That's like the, er, story of the Tortoise and the Hare.
Eh?
Or is it the owl... owl and the pussycat? Something about a lion and a dog? Two in the hand is worth... one in the bush, isn't it?
Stop stealing the alcohol.
I thought you said to just help myself?
I said; stay the fuck away from the bar!
They knew we were moving him. And someone tipped them off!
Well, don't look at me. I was lucky to get out of there alive.
And exactly how is it that you managed to escape from this ambush?
I'm very agile. Like a cat.
[Walks over to Alisha on computer] And what about you? Hm? Sitting there, tip-tapping away on your little computer. Maybe you're not as stupid as you look. [Grabs her by jaw and turns her head to him] I can freeze your blood just like that.
Actually, she is as stupid as she looks. You know, she hasn't got the brains to pull something off like this.
Tear up the estate until you find him. I'm holding you personally responsible.
So what's the story with your power?
Started off just dealing a bit of gear to mates. It took off from there. After a while, I was dealing to the dealers. It's addictive, the buzz. Staying one step ahead of the police. I wanted to be the ultimate dealer. Then the storm hit. Guess I got my wish. I never... thanked you for... saving my life.
You shouldn't be thanking me for anything. I was gonna kill you. We had to stop the Nazis from getting the powers. I put poison in your food.
Well, why did you save me?
When I saw you hanging there, I just couldn't do it. Sorry I tried to kill you, yeah?
Glad you didn't.
I guess I've got a soft spot for suicide cases.
Tart with a heart.
Who are you calling a fuckin' tart?
No, I didn't mean... well, you're not.
[Hears tires screeching] They're here!
[Curtis is operating blender] What?
[Shaun bursts into bar with soldiers guns drawn with Curtis and Rudy sitting at table with smoothies in martini glasses] What's going on?
What do you think? It's a raid. Who are you?
I work here. [To Rudy] And you?
Er, I'm his... gay lover. I'm... the giver, he's the taker. I'm the butch, he's the bitch. I'm the sausage, he's the muffin!
You're aware that homosexuality is illegal?
Oh! I were jokin'. 'Cause, er... he's me cousin, from me...
Shut the fuck up.
[To Seth and Kelly hiding under floor] I reckon you've got about three seconds before I empty my gun into this floor. One... two... [cocks gun and trapdoor opens] Cosy down there, is it? Come on.
So you have the power? And now, you can put it back in him.
He's just taken it out of him.
We can't afford for anyone to have this power. Too much could change. It dies with the old man.
I won't do it.
[Grabs Simon and shoves him into position to shoot Friedrich] Shoot him. Shoot the old man. Take out your side arm, and shoot him. That is a direct order!
Take your fucking gun out and shoot him! [Officer Smith shoots Friedrich]
Get him out!
[Walks in] Take your fucking hands off me.
Leave him alone!
Put the power in him. I will shoot... EVERY PERSON IN THESE CELLS UNITL YOU DO AS I SAY!
Don't do it.
I'm sorry. [Puts power into Curtis]
[Shoots Curtis in the head and shoots him twice more] And that's the end of that.
[Walks out] I heard what happened. Are you okay?
They shot them. Right in front of me. I just stood there. I did nothing.
There's nothing you could have done. What's wrong?
Everything.
[Walks up to two guards at door with two guns behind back] You all right, mate? [Shoots both guards]
[Led out in hallway by Kelly at gunpoint] You fucking shot me!
[Runs into Kelly with Simon in hallway] What are you doing?
I'm busting the prisoners out of the cells and I'll kill anyone who gets in my way!
D'you need a hand?
I'm with her.
You're shagging him? I thought you liked me.
All you ever did was make me hate myself.
Ungrateful little bitch. After everything I've done for you.
Oh, will you shoot just him again?
[Hands Alisha pistol] When we're done with him, you can do what you like. [To Shaun] Move!
You're completely surrounded, so I suggest you drop your weapons.
Get behind me. They won't shoot me.
Give it up. We just want him. The rest of you are free to go.
Nah, I'm pretty sure he's lying.
'Course he's fucking lying!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Misfits pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
