Stupid, Dumb, Dildo, Jack-off, Jerk, Tits, Ass! [stops] What's this? *Gasps* [sees a flyer that reads: Guitar Lessons from Guitar Master! All styles!- Contact: Dimneld Selftcark. Toki rips a piece of paper from the flyer. He reads the name aloud.] Dim..neld..Selft..cark...
GTGuitar Teacher
Yeah, I guess I am, huh?
Gots to have lessons from you!
GTGuitar Teacher
Show me what you can do.
Oh yeah! [Looks around.] Oh no.
GTGuitar Teacher
Where’s your guitar, boy?
Thinks I lefts it at the Urban Outfitters.
GTGuitar Teacher
Hmm…Can I be honest with you? I don’t think you got it kid. I don’t think you got the discipline. To be great, it takes lots of practice, and you either got that fire in your belly, or you don’t.
But I dos! I dos! Looks, I needs my own guitar identitys. You gots to help me, Mr. Selftcark!
GTGuitar Teacher
Only, if you promise me you’ll go all the way. No short-cuts. No bull. All, or nothin’!
GTGuitar Teacher
You remembered my birthday. Gimme a hug. I can't Believe you remembered my birth- [coughs]
Just my way of saying thanks. Just...my way of saying...thanks.
[livid] IS DIS HIMS?! DIS PIECE OF TRASH?! DAT'S WHAT YOU ARE, YOU KNOW DAT? YOU LIVES INSIDES A GARBAGE CAN!
SKWISGAAR! NO! HE'S LIKE A FATHER-FRIEND!
Oh yeah? Dis garbage can? Right here? Dat your friend-father? Well, It's either hims, or the band.
I hears by performs citizens ban-firing! Effective NNNNNNNOW!!
AW! YOU CAN'TS DO THAT! YOU NEEDS TO PRESENT IT TO THE BAND CONGRESS FIRST TO GETS THE TWO-THIRDS VOTE!
I wills begins the paper work! Good day!
Thanks you. And nows, I demonstrates the name of the string. Dis one i-is an E. And uh, Dere’s another E, heres, and the G, and the P, and the C. Those are what’s called, the fret. [gets nervous] Dat’s, Dat’s not a string, but its, its near the string and- uh, nevermind dat, lets..play the scale, dat’s the major scales on the guitars, string, [heart beats faster.] No! I can’ts dos this!
GTGuitar Teacher
What? What’s wrong?
Can’ts do this anymore master, I can’ts take more piano lessons!
GTGuitar Teacher
You mean guitar?
Whatever! I just wish I could be...[cries]
GTGuitar Teacher
Shhhhh…shhh. It’s just as well. I’m dying boy. I’m dying. [coughs]
Toki! Stop! I wants yous to have this. Dis is ans importance to you. Dat you have, a magical things with dat guys right there, and I now know, dat you never gots good at guitars. So, its ok for you to have dis relations-ips.
[from a balcony] HEY! OVER HERE! I'M SORRY! I KNOW IT WAS WRONG TO HAVE MANIPULATED YOU! IF I COULD TAKE IT BACK I WOULD! I WAS WRONG!
Skwisgaar! Yous were afraids that I was better than you?
[also from a balcony] STOP! OVER HERE! DON'T QUIT THE BAND TOKI! I'M SORRY! I SHOULDN'T HAVE MANIPULATED THE SITUATION!
IT'S NATHAN! UM I ALREADY SAID ALL THAT STUFF, LIKE, ALREADY.
Yes Toki. Deh bands needs you. Even thoughs you don'ts do nothing.
[also from a balcony] STOOOOP! I'M SORRY! SORRY ABOUT BEING A DICK BUT SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO SUPPRESS THE URGE OF RUINING OTHER PEOPLES LIVES! WHY DOESN'T EVERY ONE OF YOU JUST GO KILL YOURSELF, IDIOTS! I'M SORRY I'M JUST BEING A DICK!
Wowee. You really are...my family.
GTGuitar Teacher
Boy...I just wanna say one thing before I go. I love you boy. [coughs] I...love...yee- [dies]
Metalocalypse · 448 quotes
