Men in Black: The Series Season 2 quotes

You ought to get a doggie door, Zeddie.

Zed

No, I ought to get a sign: "No mutts allowed!"

Jack O'Lantern steals away children on all-hallows eve. And sucks out their bones to make their parents grieve.

That's what makes you you, sir.

You're U. I'm K.

I'm Agent K. MIB's finest.

Agent J. I'm with him.

J

That so? How am I supposed to tell you two apart?

J

(Grunts)

What did Zed say? Is he sending backup?

What are we gonna do?

Jack's gonna suck out J's bones!

J

Nobody's suckin' out my bones!

Not you J, worm J!

He's always getting into scrapes!

He's the rookie.

K! Boy, am I glad to see you!

You're never glad to see me, Frank. What's got your tail in a tangle?

I got bit! By a werewolf!

What did he look like?

Terrier. Jack Russel. Mean.

What makes you think that this terrier was a lycanthrope?

Hello!? It bit me! On Halloween night! Under a full moon! You're a bright guy. Do the math.

Don' know why you called me, Frank. Supernatural is outside of MIB jurisdiction.

Who you gonna call?

Recommend a rabies shot. You don't know where that terrier's been.

If I sprout hair at midnight and start howling at the moon, it's gonna be on your head, K!

Now, we're dealing with the supernatural.

Very scary!

Which means we can't rely on our usual methods.

(in unison) The spell!

J

Why didn't I think of that?

The old crone told us about a spell...

That will send Mr. O'Lantern...

Back to the pumpkin patch!

Wishing he'd never been hatched! We'll need a big brown onion...

You sure it wasn't a red onion?

And the fat of a hog!

That would be lard?

J

Is this a spell or a recipe?

And a bell!

You sure it wasn't a bellpepper?

I'm not interested in doing this alone, J. I just... don't wanna make you look bad anymore.

J

Well... don't you worry about that. It's hard for me to look anything but good.

[looks at J weird]

J

When I'm not wearing one of these.

Hmm. I shouldn't.

J

Get your grub on, girl. How often do we get to enjoy a spread like this?

First Friday of every month. Morale boosting gatherings like these are why Zed's the top man.

J

Appretiate the inside scoop, U. Mmm. Can't wait to suck up this chow.

I heard that.

Slick?

J

Something's going down. I got a big ugly shrub in L's lab.

(to Frank) You went into my lab!?

Thought the sign said "Lavatory". I was gonna bust!

Beings of Earth! We are the Fmecks! Formerly of Planet Fmoo. Formerly because Fmoo was annihilated by a death ray. Which we had intended for the Arquillians. That's right. Though small by your standards, we are wholly capable of mass destruction! Ugh. I'm not sure about this copy.

Cut! What's the problem, your highness?

Our own death ray backfired on us! Is that really something we want to advertise?

I think the message we are trying to get across is that we are so ruthless that we'll even destroy the thing we love the most.

Whatever. The planet will be ours by the time this broadcasts anyway.

Okay. Once more. From the top as written. And rolling!

Beings of Earth! We are the Fmecks! Formerly of Planet Fmo! (looks at paper) Fmo... Can I do that again?

Anybody see the professor?

Uh-uh.

No, Fmitch.

Un-un.

How are we supposed to kidnap the guy if we don't even know what he looks like?

!!... Don't question your squad leader, Fmelvin! Keep looking!

J

Frank! Wassup?

I'm freezing my tukus off here!

J

Merry Christmas. (leaves a present for Frank)

I'm Jewish.

And to all a good night!

J

Ye Merry Gentlemen in Black! That's what I'm talkin' about!

Zed

Santa Claus is back in town. That's what I'm talking about.