Malcolm in the Middle · Season 2, Episode 2
[Malcolm and Reese take turns eating expired food from the refrigerator]
When was the last Christmas we had eggnog?
I think before Dewey.
[The carton hisses ominously as it is opened]
It's all you, man.
[Reese chugs the eggnog and begins gagging loudly]
[aside] This is a game that has no winners.
WE OWN YOU ALL! No one is safe. We are the kings of this block. Did you hear me, world? Violence...just...got...a...little...more...RANDOM!
Guys, Halloween isn't a date on the calender.
Yeah' it is. It's the 31st.
No. Halloween is in your hearts. Every time a little kid cries in fear, that is Halloween. Every time something repulsive ends up in a mailbox, that is Halloween. As long as you carry the spirit of destruction and vandalism in your heats, every day is Halloween!
No, look! It is the 31st!
Diaper! Diaper! Diaper! Diaper! Diaper! (they throw it and watch with excited faces, then they later change to a disgusted one)
Well, let's not do any of those again.
Imagine if this was to fall into the wrong hands.
I see an old lady!!
RELOAD! RELOAD!
Boys, the time has come. You're about to see the device that will change the face of Halloween forever. Behold... [empties his bag of supplies]
That's not a flying chocolate maker.
This is just a bunch of tubes.
Trust me.
I do trust you, but...I expected something a little more...
[reading the design plans] Oh my God. Will this work?
Absolutely.
What? What is it?
It looks like an incredibly powerful slingshot!
A slingshot capable of hurling objects over a distance of two-city-blocks. Picture yourself. You're walking down the street, you're minding your own business, when all of a sudden, BAM! You're hit by a ten-pound balloon filled with shaving cream, paint, or any number of foul-smelling liquids. [Malcolm, Reese, and Dewey get excited] And you'll never, ever know who did it.
It's the perfect weapon!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Malcolm in the Middle pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
