Dad quotes from Lucifer

Lucifer

[softly] Dad.

Children. You know I hate it when you fight.

Michael

I know what you're trying to do, and I'm not going to let you ruin this, Samael.

Lucifer

Very well... Mike-ael.

Michael

It's "Michael".

Lucifer

Is it? I mean, we're twins after all. Fairly certain Dad wanted them to rhyme. Dad?

I did like the sound of that. "Samael", "Mike-ael". [chuckles] But you boys had other ideas.

Lucifer

Ooh, for example: Dad! Are you ever going to tell us why Hell suddenly doesn't need a warden any more?

I have a good reason.

Lucifer

Oh! It's a good reason! Well, that explains it. As always, super clear, thanks Pops.

Michael

What are you even complaining about, Lucifer? You got your own kingdom as a reward for bad behavior.

Lucifer

[bitterly] Is that how you see it? Being forced to torture souls for hundreds of thousands of years was an 'attaboy'? Sure, I was King of Hell, but I was still in Hell. If that's not a poisoned chalice, I don't know what is! [Lucifer gets out of his seat] You have no idea what that was like, how easy you had it!

Michael

"Easy"? [scoffs] I spent my entire life in the worst kind of Hell there is.

Amenadiel

Luci, Michael, come on!

Lucifer

What could possibly be worse?

Michael

Sharing a face with you! Guess what? When your twin is the Lightbringer, turns out you have no choice but to live in the shadows!

Lucifer

We were dealt the same hand, the same face, the same bloody shoulders, except you had a chip on yours so big, you managed to self-actualise it! Oh, no, no, no! There's nothing wrong with him, don't be fooled! You have no one to blame but yourself for who you are!

Amenadiel

Luci!

Michael

Oh, I blame you plenty!

Amenadiel

Michael!

Lucifer

Of course you do, you petty little sh-

[booming] CHILDREN!

Lucifer

And there it is: the Old Testament Wrath. Wasn't sure you still had it in you.