Has anybody ever played "Never Have I Ever"?
It is a dandy little drinking game we picked up down 'Minican.
MMrs. McMurray
We go down 'Minican twice a year, that's all I know.
Still don't get down 'Minican enough, baby, that's true.
MMrs. McMurray
Was down 'Pulco pertnear every winter 'til fellas started gettin' hanging from bridges with their dinks cut off.
Crying shame because Sinatra used to have a place down 'Pulco.
MMrs. McMurray
You know, JFK and Jackie O had their goddamn honeymoon down 'Pulco.
But we picked up "Never Have I Ever" down in 'Minican.
Bring on the gains, boys.
A quick Serge of Gains, bro.
We should be ripping sand bell slammers.
We should be ripping kettleball sumo deadlifts.
We should be ripping standing V-bar pushdowns.
We should be ripping cable hammer curls with rope attachment.
We should be ripping close grip EZ bar curls with band.
We should be ripping standing dumbbell reverse spider curls.
We should be ripping two arm barbell wide grip preachers curls.
I'm used to you two embarrassing me. I go to bed at night, fucking embarrassing. I get up in the morning, fucking embarrassing. The only time you two have ever humiliated me is when you started spelling. Now, please tell me you put in the work this year.
We always put in the work, coach.
We never wanna let you down, or the boys.
But we've been upfront about being dogshit spellers from get go, so
We're trying our best, but we're math guys, Coach.
Don't fucking bullshit me.
Okay, if it were a Chel'ing Bee.
I mean, dogshit spellers, unreal Chel'lers.
This is bullshit, why does Shoresy get credit when we're the chirp kings in this club.
Wanna talk about teamwork, Jonesy? I took your mom to Medieval Times and me and the Green Knight took her down after at Best Western.
Fuck you, Reilly, I took your Mom the next weekend. Me and the Blue Knight showed her a real sword fight.
Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom got us banned from Canada's Wonderland for trying to give me a tug on Thunder Run.
Fuck you, Reilly, I took your mom the weekend before and she asked me to diddle her on Drop Tower.
(To Reilly and Jonesy, in response to their post-game interview sound-bytes)
All this brotherhood talk's gotta stop, as it's not certain yous don't suck each other off.
You givin' his flute a little toot?
I think he'd give his flute a big hoot.
Oh, a big 'ole mouthful of bell-end.
You're so fuckin' Five-Eleven
I was reading about this thing called "Beat Your Dick December".
"Beat Your Dick December?" What's the rumpus, Grumpus?
Well, you look at the calendar, and if it's like the first, or second, or third, that's how many times a day you need to mix a batch.
So on the twentieths of Decembers, you gots to mix twenty separate batches?
So it's thirty days hath September.....June and November...December has 31 - so on the 31st, you have to batch 31 times?
How's he going to fuck that pigs?
Well, from the 1st to the 5th, you're having a good time. Even up until the tenth. Mmm, by the 12th you're starting to fade and by the 15th you're definitely not full bars.
Oh, I don't think I could continue past the 15th.
You're saying you could batch 15 times on the 15th, despite the fact that you batched 14 times on the day before, 13 times the day before that, and sos on and sos forth?
Could you - could you do twenty?
[Wayne walks into MoDean's bathroom]
AAlexander
This is where the dicks hang out.
Oh, that's right - Gailor told me you were helpin' with cleanup here now, eh?
AAlexander
You shake it more than once, we know what you're doin'.
AAlexander
48 fiscal hours.
Boy, that's more than enough time to see a nightmare or two around here, eh?
AAlexander
Sometimes there's shit... on the outside of the torlet.
AAlexander
Sometimes there's shit... on the outside of the torlet.
AAlexander
You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.
AAlexander
You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.
It get pretty hairy over there, or-
AAlexander
Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.
AAlexander
Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.
Fuck a duck. Well, how do you think it got there?
AAlexander
Remember how I said sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet?
AAlexander
Well, I bet the shit got on the outside of the urinus the same way the shit got on the outside of the torlet.
[McMurray walks into MoDean's bathroom]
This piss now streaming! ...Wayne.
How're-you-now-not-s'bad-good-n'you. Alexander!
AAlexander
Out there, you're Canadian... in here, you're-a-peein.
Oh, shit... looks like someone un-swallowed over there.
AAlexander
You think that's bad? Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet.
AAlexander
You think that's bad, sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet.
Well, I spray the seat from time to time when I got crap on top, but I never miss the bowl entirely. Fuckin' degens, need to mind their scruples.
AAlexander
You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.
AAlexander
You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.
Mm. Pretty hairy o'er there?
AAlexander
Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.
AAlexander
Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.
Well, how the fuck did shit get there?
AAlexander
Remember how I said sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet?
Feels like you told me that nearly a year ago now.
Yeah, we're kinda burnin' daylight here, eh?
AAlexander
I bet the shit got on the outside of the urinus the same way the shit got on the outside of the torlet.
Oh... well, no offense or nothin', but I think I'd rather just piss outside, Alexander.
I just came in here to wash my hands.
Why'd you wash your hands?
Mm, well, I'd have a dart.
Maybe I'd have a dart with you and just wash my hands after that dart.
AAlexander
'ey, gents? I know how the shit got on the outside of the torlet and also the urinus... but why would someone take a shit on the outside of the torlet and also the urinus?
