A character in Letterkenny
Played by K. Trevor Wilson
Letterkenny · 57 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Letterkenny: in 17 of its 57 quotes
Most scenes with: Wayne (14), Daryl (12), Katy (6)
Daryl': Think we should call The Ginger?
No.
Why not? He's tougher than hell.
Yeah, but.....like, you heard he fucked an ostrich, right?
....What?
He fucked an ostrich
Squirrelly DanAllegedly.
How does a fella get caught up in that sort of business?
Well, I guess his cousin had an ostrich farm, when he thought it might be fun to fuck one.
Squirrelly DanAllegedly!
Squirrelly DanYou appreciates my metaphors Miss Katy and that's what I appreciates about you.
Oh, is that what you appreciate about me?
Let's take about five to ten percent off that, Squirrelly Dan.
(in the context of a conversation about Boots) You guys ever hear anything about that guy fucking an ostrich?
No, it was The Ginger that fucked an ostrich.
Squirrelly DanAllegedly.
It would take more than one person to fuck an ostrich.
We've heard it was a sick ostrich.
Well, it would take two guys to fuck an ostrich. Three, even.
Again, we're hearing it was a sick ostrich.
Still, it's a three-man job to fuck one.
If they fucked an ostrich, what else have they fucked?
Just the Ginger fucked an ostrich.
Squirrelly DanAllegedly.
Squirrelly DanWell, nots to be impolites, but this gal suggested that maybe I should have some attentions paids to my butts hole. That ever happen to you guys, you ever had a gal suggest you need some attention paid to your butts hole?
Daryl and Wayne turn away from Squirrrelly Dan and ignore him while tossing the ball only to each other.
Squirrelly DanI'll take that as a hard no, I guess? She put a couple of fingers up there, and it turns you got - uh - an erogenous zone - up there.....Found the - uh - the hot button and - um - gaves it a tickle.....and, uh.....(increasingly high-pitched) yeah - feels, uh.
Squirrelly Dan(defiantly) It feels pretty good, you guys, okay?
Pop fly! (throws ball)
Squirrelly DanI really liked it! It felt - it felt very natural.
Nice! (throws ball back).
Squirrelly DanThey call it 'milking the prostate'.
Wayne, later: Well, it's impolite to kiss and tell.
Maybe they tranq'd the ostrich.
Squirrelly DanLike they roofied the ostrich?
You wanna know what? You should feel bad for even suggesting the Ginger and Boots fucked an ostrich. Bad gas travels real fast in a small town. My research concludes that the only way the Ginger and Boots could have fucked an ostrich is if it was a dead ostrich.
Glen (riding past on a bicycle): A dead ostrich??? I thought it was just sick, oh my!
Glen makes a phone call and can be heard saying, "Ginny? The Ginger and Boots effed a dead ostrich!
Oh, bother.
Daryl and Squirrelly Dan are discussing a business venture that will, amongst other things, 'condemn homosexuals'.
What do you have against homosexuals?
Squirrelly DanMe? Nothing. LQBT is all rights with me.
Daryl?
Uh. Nothin'.
So why do you want to condemn them?
Yeah?
Squirrelly DanWe seens it on the TV shows.
We know.
We actually seens it on two TV shows.
We know.
Squirrelly DanOne was the TV show we seens it on, and then the other was a news program about what we seens on the TV show.
We know.
Squirrelly DanBut those guys were popular, and they looks like they were having lots of funs, so we just figured if we did whats they did....
...then we'd have lots of fun too.
Squirrelly DanSays he pulled a pikes, a perch, a wallseyes and a trout.
Is that a brook trout?
No, it'd be lake trout
Why's that?
'Cause we're on a fuckin' lake, Dary.
Dan(fart)
Inappropriate.
DanWhys?
'Cause you're not exposed to fart in front of girls.
True story.
DanYou're suffocatings me.
That's a two-way street.
Squirrelly DanI loves fishin' in Kwee-bec..
Who doesn't love fishin' in Kay-bec?
Great fishin' in Kyu-bec!
I fuckin' hate Quebec...
Get this guy a fucking Puppers.
I still don't know what the fuck you're saying, but other than Georges St-Pierre, every Frenchman is a fuckin' pussy! So youse better simmer down and I mean right now!
(in French) Go fuckin' listen to Bryan Adams in Saskatoon. You're a fuckin' loser!
Well, why don't you go to a poutine festival in the Thetford Mines?
(in French) Go have a fuckin' rodeo in Moose Jaw, cowboy!
DanWhy don't you go canoe in the Three Rivers, you inbred fur traders?
Go eat a Nanaimo Bar in Kamloops. Manger la merde!
It's not easy telling a guy you don't want to see him because you want to stay in and read.
Let's test this theory. Dary, say you asked Bonnie McMurray out on a date and she says I'm going to stay in and read.
She up to somethin'.
Dan?
DanOh, she's definitely up to something.
Wayne?
Must be a pretty good book. Must be like… The Road.
What's the stupidest thing you ever heard in your life?
I would like to say, but it's impolite to talk politics at the breakfast table.
Squirrelly DanI'd also likes to say, but it's impolite to talk religions at the breakfast table.
I haven't smashed a pumpkin on someone's doorstep since grade nine, boys.
I haven't stuffed an egg up a tailpipe since grade eight, boys.
I haven't silly-stringed a car since grade seven.
I haven't TP'd a tree since grade six.
DanYeah, but do's youse have an ablibi?
We definitely have ablibis.
I'm glad you asked about ablibi.
We've prepared a PowerPoint presentation.
DanYou gotta respect athleticisms, Connor Moist-Gregor, Conner Moist-David, Floyd Moist-Weather. Why, they're all at the top of their classes.
They're all driving Moist-eradis, that's all I know.
May even a Rolls Moist. Or maybe a Moist-cedes Benz.
No Moist-subishis Eclipses in this bunch.
DanThey're not using Capital One Moister-Cards.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Letterkenny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
