McMurray quotes from Letterkenny

Wayne

Agricultural Halls are for agricultural music, not for fuckin' raves!

Well, that's no way to get your communication badge, Boy Scout.

Wayne

'kay.

Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, look at me, Wayne, Wayne. There is a tried, tested, and true system at work here, and as President of the Agricultural Hall, I must demand it be respected. One member makes a motion. Then another member seconds that motion.

Wayne

Second, 'kay.

"Kay" is not a second.

Wayne

Well, it's the second time I said, 'kay.

So you second my motion?

Wayne

You wanna know what, I'm all out of seconds, bud.

So it's not a second.

Wayne

Well, this is taking too many seconds is what I'm saying.

Well, you only have to second once.

Wayne

All right, give me a second.

So are you saying that you second or you need a second?

Wayne

Well, one second.

All right, Wayne you shall be given one second.

While Wayne is taking a second....

Wayne

I second the fucking motion, McMurray, now move the fucking coat hangers!

Wayne

You wanna know what, so long as everyone's having a good time, ain't no reason to be a poopy-pants.

Everyone is not having a good time.

Wayne

Well, so long as most people are having a good time, ain't no reason to be a poopy-pants.

Most people are not having a good time.

Wayne

Is anyone having a good time?

No.

Wayne

Then I shall be a poopy-pants.

Has anybody ever played "Never Have I Ever"?

Dan

Nevers.

Never?

Daryl

Never ever.

Katy

Not even once.

It is a dandy little drinking game we picked up down 'Minican.

We go down 'Minican twice a year, that's all I know.

Still don't get down 'Minican enough, baby, that's true.

Was down 'Pulco pertnear every winter 'til fellas started gettin' hanging from bridges with their dinks cut off.

Crying shame because Sinatra used to have a place down 'Pulco.

You know, JFK and Jackie O had their goddamn honeymoon down 'Pulco.

But we picked up "Never Have I Ever" down in 'Minican.

Katy

K.

Wayne

Well, fuckin' Alexander!

This is where the dicks hang out.

Wayne

Oh, that's right - Gailor told me you were helpin' with cleanup here now, eh?

You shake it more than once, we know what you're doin'.

Wayne

How long you been at it?

48 fiscal hours.

Wayne

Boy, that's more than enough time to see a nightmare or two around here, eh?

Sometimes there's shit... on the outside of the torlet.

Wayne

...Huh?

Sometimes there's shit... on the outside of the torlet.

Wayne

Huh. Is that right?

You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Wayne

...Uh?

You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Wayne

It get pretty hairy over there, or-

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

Wayne

What?

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

Wayne

Fuck a duck. Well, how do you think it got there?

Remember how I said sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet?

Wayne

Yeah?

Well, I bet the shit got on the outside of the urinus the same way the shit got on the outside of the torlet.

Wayne

Isn't that something.

This piss now streaming! ...Wayne.

Wayne

No.

How're-you-now-not-s'bad-good-n'you. Alexander!

Out there, you're Canadian... in here, you're-a-peein.

Oh, shit... looks like someone un-swallowed over there.

You think that's bad? Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet.

Huh?!

You think that's bad, sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet.

Well, I spray the seat from time to time when I got crap on top, but I never miss the bowl entirely. Fuckin' degens, need to mind their scruples.

You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Huh?

You think that's bad, you should see the urinus.

Mm. Pretty hairy o'er there?

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

What?!

Sometimes there's shit on the outside of the uninus.

Well, how the fuck did shit get there?

Remember how I said sometimes there's shit on the outside of the torlet?

Feels like you told me that nearly a year ago now.

Wayne

Yeah, we're kinda burnin' daylight here, eh?

Mhm!

I bet the shit got on the outside of the urinus the same way the shit got on the outside of the torlet.

Oh... well, no offense or nothin', but I think I'd rather just piss outside, Alexander.

Wayne

I just came in here to wash my hands.

Why'd you wash your hands?

Wayne

Had a dart?

Mm, well, I'd have a dart.

Wayne

Maybe I'd have a dart with you and just wash my hands after that dart.

'ey, gents? I know how the shit got on the outside of the torlet and also the urinus... but why would someone take a shit on the outside of the torlet and also the urinus?