A character in Letterkenny
Played by Nathan Dales
Letterkenny · 57 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Letterkenny: in 21 of its 57 quotes
Most scenes with: Wayne (18), Squirrelly Dan (12), Katy (5)
DarylWoolwich Taffy Cone Harvest I.P.A. from Wellesley, Ontario. Boastful, yet reserved. Opinionated. Selective. Elmira maple syrup, Skinner Farms smoked bacon. [sips] Hmm, tastes like a tragedy occurred while making breakfast.
Nice onesie. Does it come in men's?
Oh, I think you cum in men enough for all of us.
I think you better come in my...I mean, you better come...
I think you better come say that to his face, you fucking hicks!
DarylNice execution.
You're doin' terrific.
You looking for a tilly, buddy? Let's have a donnybrook!
DarylPump the brakes. You take your shirt off but leave your sunglasses on?
What sort of backwards fucking pageantry is that?
DarylYou gonna fight with those shades or play pokerstars.com?
Hold my spitter.
Dude, I can't hold your spitter, you're holding my spitter- just put the spitter down.
Tick tock.
[Jonesy takes off his shirt and puts his hat on backwards]
Go time!
Go time!
DarylLook at that fucking treasure trail.
What's up with your fucking body hair, big shoots? You look like a 12 year-old Dutch girl. Your aesthetician coiff that for ya?
DarylYou can kiss my aesthetician. You guys do Cross-Fit?
You can Cross-fuck off.
DarylCross-fart. How many times you pulled your horn today, bud?
What?
DarylAw, she's bashful.
Well, come on kitten, I won't tell anyone. Ballpark, six to eight? You're a fucking animal.
DarylPlay a little five-on-one?
Hit the kitchen, mix a batch.
DarylFeed the ducks.
Distribute some free literature.
Daryl': Think we should call The Ginger?
No.
DarylWhy not? He's tougher than hell.
Yeah, but.....like, you heard he fucked an ostrich, right?
Daryl....What?
He fucked an ostrich
Allegedly.
DarylHow does a fella get caught up in that sort of business?
Well, I guess his cousin had an ostrich farm, when he thought it might be fun to fuck one.
Allegedly!
You better settle down over there or I'm going to come talk to you.
DarylYou know what, there's two things about you that I don't like - and it's your face!
There's one thing about your own face you're not going to like, and that's when I come give it the beats!
I can see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow?
DarylYou get a tracking number?
Boy, I hope you got a tracking number.
DarylThat package is going to be smaller than the one you're currently sporting.
Tall order, Dary.
Well, nots to be impolites, but this gal suggested that maybe I should have some attentions paids to my butts hole. That ever happen to you guys, you ever had a gal suggest you need some attention paid to your butts hole?
Daryl and Wayne turn away from Squirrrelly Dan and ignore him while tossing the ball only to each other.
I'll take that as a hard no, I guess? She put a couple of fingers up there, and it turns you got - uh - an erogenous zone - up there.....Found the - uh - the hot button and - um - gaves it a tickle.....and, uh.....(increasingly high-pitched) yeah - feels, uh.
(defiantly) It feels pretty good, you guys, okay?
Pop fly! (throws ball)
I really liked it! It felt - it felt very natural.
Nice! (throws ball back).
They call it 'milking the prostate'.
Wayne, later: Well, it's impolite to kiss and tell.
DarylMaybe they tranq'd the ostrich.
Like they roofied the ostrich?
You wanna know what? You should feel bad for even suggesting the Ginger and Boots fucked an ostrich. Bad gas travels real fast in a small town. My research concludes that the only way the Ginger and Boots could have fucked an ostrich is if it was a dead ostrich.
Glen (riding past on a bicycle): A dead ostrich??? I thought it was just sick, oh my!
Glen makes a phone call and can be heard saying, "Ginny? The Ginger and Boots effed a dead ostrich!
Oh, bother.
DarylI found an eyelash, make a wish.
Wish you weren't so fuckin' awkward, bud.
Daryl and Squirrelly Dan are discussing a business venture that will, amongst other things, 'condemn homosexuals'.
What do you have against homosexuals?
Me? Nothing. LQBT is all rights with me.
Daryl?
DarylUh. Nothin'.
So why do you want to condemn them?
Yeah?
We seens it on the TV shows.
We know.
DarylWe actually seens it on two TV shows.
We know.
One was the TV show we seens it on, and then the other was a news program about what we seens on the TV show.
We know.
But those guys were popular, and they looks like they were having lots of funs, so we just figured if we did whats they did....
Daryl...then we'd have lots of fun too.
Says he pulled a pikes, a perch, a wallseyes and a trout.
DarylIs that a brook trout?
No, it'd be lake trout
DarylWhy's that?
'Cause we're on a fuckin' lake, Dary.
I loves fishin' in Kwee-bec..
Who doesn't love fishin' in Kay-bec?
Great fishin' in Kyu-bec!
DarylI fuckin' hate Quebec...
Get this guy a fucking Puppers.
DarylI still don't know what the fuck you're saying, but other than Georges St-Pierre, every Frenchman is a fuckin' pussy! So youse better simmer down and I mean right now!
(in French) Go fuckin' listen to Bryan Adams in Saskatoon. You're a fuckin' loser!
DarylWell, why don't you go to a poutine festival in the Thetford Mines?
(in French) Go have a fuckin' rodeo in Moose Jaw, cowboy!
Why don't you go canoe in the Three Rivers, you inbred fur traders?
Go eat a Nanaimo Bar in Kamloops. Manger la merde!
It's not easy telling a guy you don't want to see him because you want to stay in and read.
Let's test this theory. Dary, say you asked Bonnie McMurray out on a date and she says I'm going to stay in and read.
DarylShe up to somethin'.
Dan?
Oh, she's definitely up to something.
Wayne?
Must be a pretty good book. Must be like… The Road.
What's the stupidest thing you ever heard in your life?
DarylI would like to say, but it's impolite to talk politics at the breakfast table.
I'd also likes to say, but it's impolite to talk religions at the breakfast table.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Letterkenny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
