TV show quotes
Your creation was... magnificent.
I was thinking about a fourth boob.
Three was plenty.
Huh. Listen, on this end, forget about the octopus. Lizards. Lizards are king. [departs]
[speaking to himself in Japanese] The King... of Monsters.... I like that.
[Sara and Ava are about to have a tryst in Ava's office when Hank Heywood walks in, forcing Sara to hide on the ceiling.]
These are expenses generated by the crew of the Waverider, the tip of the Time Bureau spear. Your "Legends". [Sara comes down from the ceiling, ninja-style.] You said they were worth the additional funding. Let me refer you to some of my favorite line items. One hundred thirty-five million dollars for a new time core. What was wrong with the old one?
Oh, well, um, Rip blew it up when he sacrificed his life to save the world.
"Sacrifice" is right. 1.7 million dollars for "Historical costumes".
Mm-hmm. Well, admittedly, their costumes are... flamboyant.
A line item for, and I quote,[turns around; Sara dives to retrieve her shoe and hides just before he turns back.] "Assorted condiments". Assorted.
No one ever accused the Legends of starving, sir.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were in bed with the Legends. Either that, or this Captain Sara Lance is simply screwing you.
[Sara, now hiding under Ava's desk, caresses Ava's leg, causing her to flinch, but she recovers.]
[laughing nervously] Wha? Screwing me? Sara Lance? What are you... Sir, that is, that is crazy.
Which is what the Pentagon is going to call me unless we find a way to justify these numbers.
Got it, sir.
So explain to me how this... "magic-ometer" of yours works.
Oh. Well,--
It goes "beep" and we kick ass.
Meaning we investigate each time period.
We find the creature.
We bring it to the Bureau.
And hopefully learn some life lessons along the way.
Hey. It's our first mission together. Don't worry, if anything goes wrong in the field, I got'cha covered.
[amused] Yeah, I didn't get coldcocked by a girl.
Have you ever been... hit by a girl,... Hank?
No, ma'am
[gives Hank a meaningful look] Hmm. We should head out. [turns and walks off]
[referring to his father] And you thought a minotaur was bull-headed?
Ooo, mythology burrrn ! [she and Nate do a finger wiggle bump] It's good to have you back.
You know, it's still weird not having you around.
I'll always be right there, Big Guy, in that giant heart of yours. And I'll be at the Bureau, so you guys can literally stop by whenever you want. But, you know, before I go, I do want to say one thing. When I first stepped on to this ship, I was, you know, trying to get away from all my baggage back home, and I can't believe I'm gonna say this.... Hemingway once wrote "Can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another." And thanks to you guys, I don't have to run anymore. Being here with you all has turned me into the man I need to be, and, uh,... this place is special. And you never know when it's gonna be over. So, I say, Legends: [raises his beer bottle] Enjoy the ride while it lasts.
Hear, hear. [Everyone clinks beer bottles.]
[reading a quiz on the back of a cereal box] "Who is the most prolific serial killer in the United States?"
Ted Bundy. Although in my opinion, John Wayne Gacy had way more victims than he confessed to. [off everyone's looks] What? Everyone has their hobbies.
All right, don't tell me you're falling for this, like, Neanderthal misogynistic dating advice. You're a modern man surfing the sexual spectrum. Just be cool and ask her out.
Or - and I'm, uh, just spitballing here - you can ask her out for me.
This isn't high school.
[Gary suddenly goes into a quasi-cataleptic state. Nate has to snap his fingers right in Gary's face to bring back.]
[getting his bearings] Oh. Sorry. "High school"'s a bit of a trigger word for me.
Wow. You are really broken.
Sara? Is it possible that our fugitive killer is a possessed doll?
Horror movie 101.
Ava, you are my love. And Mick, you are my family. And it would mean the world to me if both of you would try to get along. [whispers to Ava] Please.
[Ava sits down across the table from Mick.]
So, I was thinking... maybe you two could find some common grounds. [Ava chortles] For example, Ava, you love to read. Mick here is an author.
Oh? Well, that's something. Though I'd be shocked if his novel wasn't sexist and derivative.
It is.
Okay. Well, Mick, you love to eat. Ava is a fantastic baker. She makes one mean snickerdoodle.
Fancy sugar cookies.
Snickerdoodles are actually completely different. It's a cream of tartar base, but --
Garbage cookies.
That's rich, coming from a man who's so lacking in personal hygiene that he had to resort to sleeping with a three-breasted alien sex toy.
Well, at least Garima isn't a clone.
[tightly] Only I get to use the C-word.
Too far, Mick. Too far.
Why do you get to have a fake girlfriend and I don't? [gets up and starts walking out of the room.] Clone.
Dick.
You know, I understand why John is being so colossally stupid, but what's your excuse?
I'm dying.
What?
Look, every time I shapeshift, it's like I'm born all over again. But stuck in this body, for the first time in centuries, I'm getting older. But, if John saves Desmond, then he never joins the Legends, and I'm immortal again.
Let me get this straight. You help John risk a catastrophic rupture to history because you're afraid of aging? Okay. Maybe John succeeds and you go on your immortal merry way. But if he fails, I will personally make sure you spend the rest of your short, dreary, human life in the deepest, darkest prison cell the Bureau has to offer.
[during the "Custodians of the Chronology" timeline]
Gideon, any messages while we were gone?
You missed calls from Barry Allen, Oliver Queen and Kara Zor-El.
Sounds like the annual crossover.
Ugh. Yeah, that's gonna be a hard pass.
[Constantine has just restored Zari from a cat to her normal form.]
Finally! [dry coughs] Hairball. Because of you dicks, I have been a cat for so long. Do you know where this tongue has been? [hard whisper] Places!
You know, I could have been anyone when I got my powers back. Do you know why I kept coming back to this form?
Because Amaya is very hot.
It's because this was the form I was when I joined the Legends. Now I've been a part of many crews. And you guys, well,... you're not rubbish.
Listen, destroying history for personal gain, it's happened to almost everyone here. Rite of passage.
I made snickerdoodles with your recipe. Not bad.
I'm reading your novel. I'm on the last chapter. Your female characters are shallow, libidinous, and so much fun to read.
Hmmm. Thanks.
Yeah, good job, um... "Rebecca Silver"?
Non de plum.
Got it. So... let me get this straight. They're making love on the surface of the sun?
Mmm. It's, um... a metaphor.
[softly] Got it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Legends of Tomorrow pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
