Zari quotes from Legends of Tomorrow

Zari

Finally! [dry coughs] Hairball. Because of you dicks, I have been a cat for so long. Do you know where this tongue has been? [hard whisper] Places!

Zari

Aww, calling me "sort of" popular is like calling da Vinci "sort of" a genius.

You guys are time-traveling superheroes?

Ray

Yeah! We've actually saved the world, twice. Not that we're counting.

Zari

Really? You saved the world?

Ray

Twice!

Zari

Then why does it still suck?

Ray

Zari. Look, I don't want to fight. But we gotta go, we can't stay here, it's not safe.

Zari

I don't understand. They're not here. Nobody's here. They were supposed to meet me here, this was supposed to be our janna.

Ray

Janna?

Zari

Means "sanctuary" in Arabic. [gets up with her totem in hand] My brother had powers because he wielded this. He fought against A.R.G.U.S.'s injustices, so he was hunted. We all were. The night we were leaving, A.R.G.U.S. raided our house, killed my brother, and took the only part that's left of him.

Ray

And that's how you got caught. Trying to steal it the first time.

Zari

Yeah, I couldn't let A.R.G.U.S. keep it. With my brother gone, I needed its power to help me protect my parents.

Ray

Maybe they got away.

Zari

Where? Can't you see there's nowhere left to go? This was our last hope.

Ray

What makes a hero? Is it powers? Strength? Bravery? No. A hero is forged by his or her relationships, our bonds of brotherhood or sisterhood. That is why I'm taking you all through the ten-step team-building process I perfected at Palmer Tech. Step 1, part 1: icebreakers.

Jax

Dude, we've been stuck on a ship that has one bathroom. I think we know each other well enough.

Stein

And your timing couldn't be worse, given that we're being chased by a water-wielding assassin and the Time Bureau.

Ray

We need to grow as a team. First up is "Two Truths and a Lie". [Sara shakes her head] It's gonna be fun.

Mick

Lie.

Ray

I haven't started yet. Look, I know you guys probably think this is lame–

Sara

Truth.

Ray

But we have a new crew member, and it is important for Zari to bond with us. Not only as team members, but as individuals.

Zari

Yeah, well, I'm no hero and I'm not a member of any team. Besides, I already have you all figured out. The old guy wants to be anywhere but on this ship. [Walks by Amaya and Nate] These two have some "will they, won't they" thing going on. [Nate nods]. Rory's been drunk since breakfast. [Mick tips his beer at her] Jax is wondering if I'm single. And your ship's still mad at me for doing a teeny hack on her sub-systems. Now, what's this about one bathroom?

Ray

[enthusiastic] Can't wait to show you guys my home. First, we have to go to Pizza Master. Best slice in town. Then we have to go to Video Village. I can tell you how much of my allowance I spent there–

Zari

So, you're always this positive. Even when you're dead. How can you pretend like everything's okay?

Ray

I..I'm not pretending, I believe it. I found that if I can trust in myself, I can believe everything's okay. And it usually is. It's called "positive thinking". Give it a shot.

Zari

[to Jax] Is he for real? [Jax grimaces and nods.]

Zari

Leave it to young you to see the best in that thing. Though you were pretty lonely.

Ray

What? I wasn't lonely! I was just choosing to focus on my studies. This is probably just my scientific curiosity getting the better of me, again.

Young Ray

[off-screen] Popcorn's ready!

Zari

Aren't you supposed to be in school?

Ray

Oh my God.

Zari

Yeah, this is a problem.

Ray

No. Yesterday, I was shoplifting. Today I'm a truant. This thing is turning me into Rory.

Amaya

I'm concerned about you. I know that you think that woman channeled your brother.

Zari

His name was Behrad. The night A.R.G.U.S. came for us, I ran. I knew he was staying to fight, but I was scared. I left my brother there to die. You happy? Now you know my secret.

Amaya

Sorry–

Zari

[removes her amulet] Yeah, I don't want this anymore, whatever's going on with it or with us, I... I don't care.

Amaya

That totem is your only remaining connection to him.

Zari

It's not a connection. It's a reminder... that I should've been the one who died.

Nate

What happened?

Stein

[inside Jax's body] Yes. Pray tell, Doctor Palmer, what exactly happened to us, because it seems we are in a particularly precarious situation that I, for one, have no idea how to remedy.

Jax

[inside Stein's body] Why don't we just merge?

Stein

[inside Jax] Out of the question! Absolutely not. We have switched bodies. Who knows what else may have shifted. Merging now could cause a meltdown of insurmountable proportions. We just... we just can't afford the risk.

Nate

[still amused, pointing to Jax] You're the Professor, [points to Stein] and you're Jax. [starts laughing again] They switched.

Sara

[to herself] Must be Tuesday.

Amaya

What's going on?

Ray

Oh, we seem to have a bit of a Freaky Friday situation

Jax

[inside Stein] I'm Jax

Stein

[inside Jax] And I'm Martin.

Zari

Cool.

Zari

I thought the Helen of Troy story was just a myth.

Ray

Well, we found that myths tend to have some truth about them. This one more than most.

Nate

Helen and her lover Paris set off a ten-year war that launched thousands of ships and set tens of thousands of men off to their death. All in the name of her beauty.

Zari

You make it sound like it's her fault. Men always find a reason to fight. That's not on her.

Mick

Depends. How hot is she?

Nate

[turning away from everyone else] I mean, she's all right. [mouthing whisper to Mick] She's really hot.

I don't want to overstep, but may I ask? What gods gave you such incredible powers?

Zari

Uh, the gods didn't give us powers. Well, maybe they kinda did for Amaya and me, but the captain's a self-made woman. Sara trains every day, she's a total bad-ass.

She's a captain too?

Zari

Yeah.

It gives me hope, knowing that you've come from a time where women have the same opportunities as men.

Zari

Yeah, I wouldn't say that.

Anywhere must be better than where I came from. I spent the last five years alone, locked-up in a tower. My only view is the distant battle waging below, men killing each other. For what? Me. And now you want to send me back to that hellish place.

They say life is the sum total of all the choices you make. As your misfortune sinks in, maybe you want to ask yourself: "What choices did I make to find myself here?" Today, I want payback for what that monster did to my men, my brothers.

Ray

Uh, excuse me–

Mick

Shut up.

Ray

We're... we're journalists–

Mick

Shut up.

Ray

And we've uncovered a plot to kill President Johnson. We need to alert the proper authorities.

Shut up.

Mick

See?

Zari

He's telling the truth.

Amaya

The president landed in Vietnam, but we can still save him.

You're reporters. What are you gonna do? Question him to safety?

Ray

It's a little more complicated than that, but just trust me, okay? We're the good guys.

Haven't you heard? There are no good guys here.

Nate

Z, will you please tell her that talking to Kuasa is a bad idea?

Zari

No.

Amaya

Thank you. I refuse to accept that my granddaughter is pure evil.

Nate

Fine. She's eighty-nine percent evil.

Ray

Guys! I think Sara is in trouble.

Mick

QUIET!! Haircut! Take the new girl. Find Blondie, Fake Snart and Trenchcoat. Amaya, the med-bay. Pretty, the library. Water Bitch? Stays in the freezer.

Ray

You know, Mick? You're really showing some management potential.

Mick

Get out. [Ray gets out.]

Gideon

Even with the reserve power, I don't believe my system can run your simulation software.

Zari

Gideon, trust me.

Gideon

Trust is something that grows over time between friends. As far as I'm concerned, we are still acquaintances.

Zari

Question, Gideon: who's ready to have 1.12 terawatts of power diverted straight into her CPU?

Mick

.... I'm busy.

Zari

Right. You've done a lot of time travelling. Have you ever had déjà vu?

Mick

What's that?

Zari

Oh, it's, uh, French for "already seen".

Mick

I hate French. [goes back into his cabin and the door closes on Zari]