Gary Green quotes from Legends of Tomorrow

Gary

[upon seeing the fugitives have escaped] I am so f-f-f-fired.

Gary

No one with an executive privacy button has good intentions.

Gary

[to Mick] Oh, I see what's happening here. You're new to this whole parenting thing. You know what? I think you need some advice from the Papa Gare. Parenting is about doing the crap work, no matter how degrading, and never, ever once hearing a word of thanks. But you'll know in your heart that they appreciate it, even if the thought never crosses their minds.

Constantine

There isn't exactly a paint-by-numbers spell for locating a spaceship floating through a temporal stream. My business card says "Master of the Dark Arts", not Doctor bloody what's-his-face.

Ava

Who?

Gary

Who.

Constantine

Exactly.

Gary

What kind of world is this? Paradise?

Sara

I'm surrounded by my exes, Gary. This is Hell.

Gary

Buckle up, Nate, it's Taco Monday.

Nate

Instead of Taco Tuesday?

Gary

Oh, we dare to defy.

Nate

All right, don't tell me you're falling for this, like, Neanderthal misogynistic dating advice. You're a modern man surfing the sexual spectrum. Just be cool and ask her out.

Gary

Or - and I'm, uh, just spitballing here - you can ask her out for me.

Nate

This isn't high school.

Gary

[getting his bearings] Oh. Sorry. "High school"'s a bit of a trigger word for me.

Nate

Wow. You are really broken.

Ray

You can't help me. I need Constantine.

Gary

Well, I may not be a master of the Dark Arts, but I am an intern of the Dark Arts.

Ray

You're interning for Constantine?

Gary

Yeah. He's letting me study his spell books if I water his plants while he searches for a cure for Nora. Well, besides, what other options do you have? Come on. Tell the Gar-bear what ails ya.

Ray

[nervous] I don't, I don't know how to explain it, but it... feels like... like there's something inside of me.

Gary

Oh, yeah. You know, there's a beautiful singer inside of me, but no one's ever gonna meet her.

Ava

You know what, Gary? It's a little hard to feel sorry for you when you're holding us all hostage.

Gary

You're not getting it. This whole time, Tabitha's been trying to use me to hurt you. All I wished was for us to hang out. I was trying to protect you. I get it, I'm not "cool". But I don't deserve to be treated like a joke. So now, now the joke's on you.

Mona

Stay calm. They smell fear.

Gary

What if fear's my natural scent?

Ava

You adopted Son of Sam's demon dog.

Gary

Oh, my God. At least I didn't buy from a breeder.