Ray Palmer quotes from Legends of Tomorrow

Ray

We can't just leave (Charlie) locked in there forever.

Sara

You are on thin ice in terms of what we can and can not do. Those punks were a bad influence on you.

Ray

Uh, well, huh, maybe you just don't know as much about me as you think you do.

Sara

You are an Eagle Scout. Former CEO of PalmerTech. Your favorite musical is Singin' in the Rain. You're allergic to cats and Grod, and you were knighted by Queen Guinevere "Sir Raymond of the Palms".

Ray

Okay, so you know a lot.

Sara

Yeah.

I'm sorry. Couldn't help but admire your lanyard. Did you make that yourself?

Ray

Oh. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, along with twenty-one required merit badges. I also went on to get certification in nuclear science and dentistry.

Oh, snap! I've got some serious competition for "Coolest councilor" this summer, huh? [to Sara] What about you? You got any special skills?

Sara

[clearly not taken with Chad] Martial arts.

[makes a lame martial arts pose] Huwaa! [laughs] Sorry, it's just so fresh. [does air karate chops] Jackie Chan, you know.

Sara

[still unimpressed] I prefer knives and swords.

Right, yeah. Point taken. [laughs]

Ray

You know, there are other dabblers in the Dark Arts out there who think that I'm all right.

Constantine

What, referring to Nora Darhk, are we? You best stay away from that witch, mate. Not even your big heart can keep you safe from someone who's wrestled with literal demons.

Ray

What about you? You're one of us now. You even dressed up, for a little while. You've wrestled with demons and you're good–

Constantine

Listen to me, all right? You know... I had a friend like you. Someone good, someone... who trusted me. Be smarter than him, all right? Save yourself, Ray Palmer. Because people like me and Nora Darhk, we're bloody hell for people like you.

So explain to me how this... "magic-ometer" of yours works.

Ray

Oh. Well,--

Mick

It goes "beep" and we kick ass.

Zari

Meaning we investigate each time period.

Constantine

We find the creature.

Sara

We bring it to the Bureau.

Ray

And hopefully learn some life lessons along the way.

Ray

You know, it's still weird not having you around.

Nate

I'll always be right there, Big Guy, in that giant heart of yours. And I'll be at the Bureau, so you guys can literally stop by whenever you want. But, you know, before I go, I do want to say one thing. When I first stepped on to this ship, I was, you know, trying to get away from all my baggage back home, and I can't believe I'm gonna say this.... Hemingway once wrote "Can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another." And thanks to you guys, I don't have to run anymore. Being here with you all has turned me into the man I need to be, and, uh,... this place is special. And you never know when it's gonna be over. So, I say, Legends: [raises his beer bottle] Enjoy the ride while it lasts.

Sara

Hear, hear. [Everyone clinks beer bottles.]

Ray

[reading a quiz on the back of a cereal box] "Who is the most prolific serial killer in the United States?"

Ava

Ted Bundy. Although in my opinion, John Wayne Gacy had way more victims than he confessed to. [off everyone's looks] What? Everyone has their hobbies.

Ray

Sara? Is it possible that our fugitive killer is a possessed doll?

Sara

Horror movie 101.

Nate

Gideon, any messages while we were gone?

Gideon

You missed calls from Barry Allen, Oliver Queen and Kara Zor-El.

Ray

Sounds like the annual crossover.

Nate

Ugh. Yeah, that's gonna be a hard pass.

Mona Wu

I'm telling you, the men in black are behind all of this. They're framing me so they can keep hurting the magical creatures.

Zari

Hurting them how?

Mona

I don't know. But Konane was terrified when they came for him. I was just trying to help him.

Sara

Mona, we saw the security footage, and... there were no men in black. Just you.

Mona

Well, they must have altered the footage to hide the truth. I'm like Mulder, and those guys are the shadow government covering their tracks! It's a conspiracy! The truth is out there!

Ray

Okay. Okay, Fox. Okay, Fox, take a breath.

Ray

After your recent unfortunate misadventures in time travel, I created a team-building card game to help you learn the "Dos and Don'ts" of our prior missions. I'm calling it "Cards to Save the Timeline"! Fun way to learn from your mistakes, right?

Charlie

Oh, you gotta be joking. "Vandal Savage." That's a real name?

Constantine

And here's me thinking that Damien Darhk's moniker was a touch on-the-nose.

Ray

Without the release of All the President's Men, Robert Redford's career floundered.

Mick

WHAT?! No Redford? No Sundance. No indie film. No artful nudity. We have to fix this!

Constantine

I hope you're not stress-eating, squire.

Ray

I don't know what else to do. I can't believe this is happening.

Constantine

You feel the energy in this room. It's like sitting on a keg of dynamite. You see, wakes are notorious soft spots where the supernatural meets the living world. You see Nate's aunt? That particular prayer is to ward off evil spirits. And hey... covered the mirrors, so the bad lads can't get in.

Ray

Well, that's creepy.

Constantine

Yeah, well, "creepy" is my business. [a lamp flickers] And it looks like business is good.

Nate

I can't believe I got my Dad killed.

Ray

No. It was Hank's choice to make a deal with a demon. That is not your fault. You spending time with him inspired him. Made him happy. I don't think you doomed him. I think you saved him.

Ray

You can't help me. I need Constantine.

Gary

Well, I may not be a master of the Dark Arts, but I am an intern of the Dark Arts.

Ray

You're interning for Constantine?

Gary

Yeah. He's letting me study his spell books if I water his plants while he searches for a cure for Nora. Well, besides, what other options do you have? Come on. Tell the Gar-bear what ails ya.

Ray

[nervous] I don't, I don't know how to explain it, but it... feels like... like there's something inside of me.

Gary

Oh, yeah. You know, there's a beautiful singer inside of me, but no one's ever gonna meet her.

Vandal Savage

Yeah, right, what a guy. I was sent here to torture him, but then we got to talking. Oh, it got really deep, man.

Ray

It really did.

Savage

What were we even fighting about all those years ago?

Ray

Your compulsion for world domination and inability to accept rejection.

Savage

Ah. Translation: it was about a girl.

Nora

Girl? What girl?

Ray

Doesn't matter. We should go.