Max Greevey quotes from Law & Order

Greevey

That's amazing. I know cops who been in shooting cases that can't remember their badge numbers afterwards. Her husband gets shot, she gets shot, victim of a horrible crime, she remembers every second.

Greevey

The word's 'hearsay', Simonize.

Greevey

It's easier to bust out of Attica than to leave a hospital without paying.

You solve every case you work on?

Logan

We can tell a felony from a traffic ticket.

Look, a patient walks in with a headache. She could have a subarachnoid hemorrhage, a berry aneurysm, a retro-orbital tumor...or does she just have a headache? Do you give her an aspirin? Or do you saw open her skull?

Greevey

You make this speech at funerals?

Greevey

What do you want?

I'd like someone around here to stay on one side of the issue for ten seconds!

Logan

Why are we bustin' her chops?

Max

That the way you see it?

Logan

Looks, 2 kids jump her on the subway, she defends herself, okay? We're not talking about 'Squeaky' Fromme here.

Greevey

Do you think a lot of cops are gay?

Logan

No way, man. The department's got a special test. They look you in the eye, and if your left eye blinks before your right eye, they know you're gay. [blinks at Greevey with his left eye]

Greevey

How many times would you go out with her before you went to bed with her?

Logan

Once. Hey, what do you want, a bedtime story? I'd wait until the honeymoon?

Greevey

Did you ever hear about a new disease they got, called AIDS?

Logan

Did you ever hear of a new invention called condoms?

If you grew up where we did ... Ever hear of Waverly, Pennsylvania? [Max shakes his head] It's the Greenwich of Scranton. It's a good life, but it can be a straitjacket.

Max

With a mink lining.

If you've worn mink all your life, you start to wonder what denim feels like.

Greevey

And guess who it was registered to?

Himes, Gilbert?

Logan

Nope. And not to Ralston, Janet, either.

[surprised] Ralston, Alan?!?! Great. He was killed with his own gun.

Greevey

I hate horseback riding. Scares the hell out of me.

Logan

Scary for the horse, too.

Are you the man?

Greevey

We sure are, honey.

You said you weren't a cop.

Greevey

I lied.

Isn't there some kind of a legal thing about that?

Greevey

What, lying? I'm allowed to lie. They pay me to lie.

Greevey

What do you think?

Logan

Of a hooker who's got a lawyer looks like he spends more on clothes than I make in a year? I think whoever's paying his bill ought to adopt me.

Greevey

[on Jasmine being bailed out quickly] Look at that. In and out.

Logan

Just like work.