Mike Logan quotes from Law & Order

Logan

Well, you got your $2,000 suits and you got your hotshot degrees but, from where I'm standing, you're no better than some punk who robs a 7-11 store and blows away the cashier to cover his tracks.

I graduated summa cum laude from Harvard, magna from Stanford Business. I have seveteen traders working for me, and I booked almost a billion dollars in trades over the last two years. Not only am I better than your punk at the 7-11, I'm a hell of a lot better than you, Detective Logan.

Rape isn't part of the swinging lifestyle. The pleasure comes from an open and willing sharing.

Briscoe

Ah, but whatever happened to romance?

Our readers are interested in exploring another side of their sexual selves.

Logan

Yeah. The side marked "this end up."

Logan

What're you looking for, a date?

Briscoe

[reading] "Open-minded MBBF seeks mature man."

Logan

[looking puzzled] What's that? Male bisexual bondage freak?

Briscoe

I'm more in the mood for a BLT.

Logan

The nuns at my school were less sanctimonious than that guy.

Briscoe

The nuns at your school never went to medical school. You know those MD plates gets you a better parking spot in heaven.

Logan

Brother. And I thought I had it bad being brought up by 2 alcoholics.

Briscoe

I wonder which mommy's gonna teach him how to smoke and drink.

Logan

And shave.

Briscoe

Well, it's the '90s. Everybody's allowed to be gross and disgusting, not just you.

Logan

Well, all I know is I had one mommy, and she did enough ball-breaking for one lifetime.

Logan

You know, the more I talk to these guys, it reminds me why I stay single.

Briscoe

You mean it's not just the quality time you get to spend with yourself?

Logan

Wow. That's almost a clue.

Lt. Van Buren

And it beats heavy lifting.

Briscoe

What?

Logan

It's Anita's sense of humor.

Lt. Van Buren

Lieutenant Anita to you.

Briscoe

My respect for Durban is growing by the hour.

Logan

Yeah, he's so smart he's dead.

Detective, are you familiar with a term police use to describe a murder in the gay community even before they know all the facts of the case? [Logan says nothing] Come now. Don't cause me the embarrassment of having to call up witnesses who've heard you say it.

Logan

It's called 'homo-cide'.

Mike

There was another guy. I passed a guy halfway down the block from where I left the car. A Puerto Rican guy.

Curtis

Yeah. That's how we solve homicides too. Nearest Puerto Rican did it.