Lennie Briscoe quotes from Law & Order

Anyway, how about a free large latte on the house?

Briscoe

[gestures to Curtis] Maybe for the kid here, but I'd like a regular coffee.

Okay, how would you like it?

Briscoe

Uh, regular?

Briscoe

Look what's happened to your beautiful family. Your wife is sleeping with some dance instructor, your daughter is one step away from living on the street, and you have no money, and it's all because of that kid!

You don't know me, if you knew me, you would see...

Briscoe

Oh, I know you. If you had the stones...

Curtis

You don't know this man, Lennie. This isn't about money or adultery or anything like that, is it, Joe? My wife's got MS. I picture her life 10 years from now, and it kills me because it might not be a pretty picture. You picture your son. He used to be strong. Played soccer, yeah?

Yes.

Curtis

My wife used to run 3 miles every morning. Did you imagine Michael at 20 years old, 40 years old, still in the same bedroom, still in the same tortured pain?

[choked up] Yeah.

Curtis

Me, too. And you wanna know the worst part? I know why it's happening. It's my fault. God is punishing her for something I did.

No, you can't think that way!

Curtis

I try to tell myself that. I try to think that. But every time I look at her, I feel the guilt. Every time I look at my daughters, and think about what they're going to lose... Someone you love is in pain. They have no hope. What can you do to help this person? How often have you asked yourself this question? Every time you bathe him?

[in tears] Every time I kiss him goodnight.

Curtis

And you knew there was only one way out. You had to do it. You had to do it because you loved him. Let it go. It was an act of love, Joe.

[sobs] I love Michael! Maybe I... but I didn't do this. I didn't kill him.

Briscoe

She was my baby, Rey! What am I gonna do?

Curtis

Come home with me, partner.

Curtis

[about Rivera] Guy protects his turf.

Briscoe

He probably pees a circle around his desk every morning.

Briscoe

Aaron Downing, you're under arrest for the murder of Ryan Downing. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do say can and will be used against you. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney...

Curtis

Lennie, you can skip the next part, he's got a wad of cash, his passport, an airline ticket to the Fiji Islands.

Briscoe

This way, Robinson Crusoe.

We kick ass for the white race!

Briscoe

Don't look so pleased with yourself.

Briscoe

[about Affirmative Action] You wouldn't have gotten any complaints from me; it came in after I joined the department and it'll still be there when I'm gone.

Curtis

Well you wouldn't have liked my answers. When I was filling out my application, when it asked about race, I checked 'none of the above'.

Carmichael

Well I'd like to think I got where I am on my own merit.

Lt. Van Buren

So would I, but I got 2,000 pages of legal documents that say contrary.

Always eatin' our dust, huh, Briscoe?

Briscoe

Don't even think about it!

Place is negative for condoms, or any kind of contraceptive devices. Ditto peekaboo bras, Merry Widows, any Doc Johnson products. This lady had no discernible sex life!

Briscoe

Maybe she enjoyed solitaire

Briscoe

I'd hate to have somebody track me by what I read.

Curtis

You read, Lennie?

Can you guys make it quick? I gotta cram for my psych exam before the happy hour crunch!

Curtis

Wouldn't you do better in a library?

Hey, I'm covering my tuition and fulfilling a public service.

Briscoe

Oh, which one's that?

Read the literature. Clubs like this, they boost a man's testosterone level. He leaves here feeling confident. More productive...

Briscoe

...and broke.

Then everybody's happy!

Briscoe

You recognize this girl?

She an actress?

Briscoe

She moonlights at a hooter bar when she's not playing Lady Macbeth.

McCoy

I wanna know how this disaster happened.

Briscoe

Best guess, Ricci was followed from work.

McCoy

Why wasn't a police officer stationed in the apartment?!

Lt. Van Buren

In a one-bedroom? That would've been cozy. We tried putting someone downstairs in the vestibule, but the tenants complained!

McCoy

Lieutenant, I don't have to tell you...!

Lt. Van Buren

No. You don't. We're treating this like Ricci was one of our own. What are you gonna do about this retrial?

McCoy

I don't know.

I don't know where Gabriel is. He's driving a cab.

Briscoe

That's why we need to talk to him. He ever lend it to anybody?

No! I don't know. Look, I don't got time to talk to you!

Briscoe

[shows Louisa photos] Hey, did you ever see him with either of these 2 people?

She don't hardly see Gabriel, except to make another stupid baby!

Cállate!

Curtis

Hey! Hey! Hey! Did Gabriel mess with you? Is that why you don't like him?

I take care of myself. I don't like him, but she lets him beat her when she's all pregnant like that.

Curtis

Well, you show us where he is, we make sure he doesn't mess with your sister again. All right?

Green

There must be 10, 15 grand here. Where'd you get the money, Bobby?

Bite me!

Briscoe

Go ahead. Bite him.