Danny McCoy quotes from Las Vegas

Danny McCoy

[Voiceover] Never sleep with the boss's daughter. Especially if the boss is Ed Deline, former head of CIA Counter Intelligence and the greatest security man Vegas has ever seen.

Danny

(voice-over) Groundhog summer. For everyone else, summer's over after Labor Day, but in Vegas, we get an extra six weeks. And on that last weekend, before we close the pools for the season, Vegas throws the biggest pool party of the year. This year, Groundhog summer happens to fall during the sci-fi convention. These people really freak me out.

Danny

(voice-over) Another Groundhog Summer is in the books. And tomorrow, another 300,000 people come to town to celebrate somethin' else. For us locals, it's a reminder that no matter how bad it gets, in Vegas, we take care of our own. No matter how crazy it gets, the party never stops.

Danny

[to Mary after she flirted with a guy to get him to help them] Brother? Can't you even pretend to be my wife?

Ed Deline

Danny, welcome to the family.

Danny

Excuse me, what?

Ed

If I catch you looking at another girl, take a poison pill, because I'll kill ya.

Mike Cannon

Hey, don't forget: barbecue at my house tomorrow night. I've got some great new gadgets I've been working on.

Danny

You're not going to rewire my car and set it on fire again, are you?

Mike

That really hurts, Danny. You had a short, okay? That was an accident!

Ed Deline

She dumped you.

Danny McCoy

Like yesterday's newspaper.

Mike Cannon

When I start dating a girl, you know what I do?

Danny

What do you do?

Mike

Whatever she wants. Sunrise hike in the mountains? Sounds good! Antique shopping? Let's go! I establish rapport.

Danny

It sounds like guy code for ass kiss to me.

Danny

Rowan Davies.

How do you know my name?

Danny

Shut up. At this point, it's safe to assume I know your mother's maiden name, her birth date and her real weight.

What do you want?

Danny

I wanna break one of your fingers, that's what I want. I wanna crack 'em like two dollar glow sticks.

Look, I know I used some bad judgment but...

Danny

Yeah.

...break breakin' me fingers, that ain't right. And it's illegal.

Danny

Well, so is cheating. Which we take real serious around here. Finger-breaking serious.

Sam Marquez

Do you really think you should have your feet up on Big Ed's desk?

Danny McCoy

Big Ed's probably at a luau right now patting down Don Ho, but don't you worry, ladies. Big Danny's here.

Oh, my God. The boss isn't gone five minutes, he's already gone mad!

Danny McCoy

The tint is off. The thickness is way off. Look at this thing!

Ed Deline

I'm your father. I work in a casino. You took chips that look like they were made by a zoo animal. How do you suppose that makes me look? A: good. B: not so good.

Delinda Deline

Well I'm sorry. You never invited me to take your daughter to work day.

Ed

You were busy gallivanting all over Europe!

Delinda

Well you wanted me to get an education.

Ed

Exactly. So that you could be taken by some two bit hustler in the ladies lounge of my casino. Money well spent, I'd say.

Danny

Since when do you speak Chinese?

Sam

Mandarin.

Danny

Mandarin.

Sam

Since I learned eighty percent of high rollers were Chinese.

Danny

Oh. So how did you land Zhao? I thought he only played in Monte Carlo.

Sam

I found out his daughters go to school in New York and he doesn't get to see them very often, so I organized...

Danny

So you organized a little reunion. Very nice.

Sam

Xie-xie.

Danny

I told you that I don't sleep anymore.

Ed

Why?

Danny

Because there's nobody left to watch my back. They're all dead. (shudders) Every single one of them.

Sam Marquez

What is wrong with these rich college kids? What, is there some kind of jackass gene that kicks in?

Danny McCoy

Yeah, there is.

Ed

Would either of you want me on the jury?

Nah!