Delinda Deline quotes from Las Vegas

Delinda

[hears Danny knock] Come in.

Danny

What's up? [sees Delinda in her wedding dress] Wow.

Delinda

Do you like?

Danny

Wow.

Delinda

Stop saying wow. Say something else.

Danny

You look beautiful.

Delinda

Really?

Danny

Yeah.

Ed

[speaking of Delinda and Danny] Is something going on between you two?

Delinda

No! No. No, Danny's just -- he's just been feeling a little left out. You know, you've been spending a lot of time with Derek.

Ed

Well, I mean, that's because he's about to become my son in law.

Delinda

No, I know. Just spend a little time with Danny, too. You're like a father to him.

What's going on?

Delinda Deline

I've been trying to tell everyone.

Jillian

Are you in love with Danny? [watches as her daughter nods] Oh, honey.

Delinda

Hey. [kisses him] Thanks.

Danny McCoy

For what?

Delinda

[smiles] For feeling the same way about me that I feel about you. [stops smiling] You do feel the same way about me, don't you?

Danny

[laughs] Yes. [walks away to find Ed]

Jillian

Don't screw this up, Delinda.

Delinda

I won't.

Delinda

You know, don't you?

Mary

I just want to know everything.

Delinda

I wanted to tell you, but then Derek showed up and things just got out of hand.

Mary

Got out of hand?! Is that how you explain what's been going on?

Delinda

Look, I'm sorry --

Mary

Delinda, I don't want to talk about this.

Danny

You okay?

Delinda

Yeah. It's just been a wild last few days.

Danny

Yeah, it has.

Delinda

Mary's pissed at me.

Danny

Me too.

Delinda

Now what?

Danny

Let's see what happens.

Delinda

What if I screw it up again?

Danny

I won't let that happen.

Danny McCoy

Everybody knows! You saw the way they were looking at us in there.

Delinda Deline

Who cares who knows?

Danny

While your dad's away, I'm in charge. I'm supposed to be setting an example here.

Delinda

The whole thing's a joke, Danny. People should just behave or we wouldn't need stupid seminars. [grabs his butt]

Danny

Are you into the whole group sex thing, now?

Delinda

No, not for years. It's just that guy Myles was such a dweeb, I just wanted to see him squirm a little.

Danny

What do you think we should do about this whole employee fraternization thing?

Delinda

Here's what we should do. [kisses him] You're my boyfriend and I don't care who knows it.

Danny

Want to meet upstairs in fifteen minutes?

Delinda

Make it ten.

Danny

Okay.

Mary Connell

Why didn't you have the decency to tell me?

Delinda Deline

Now's not exactly the best time for us to chat.

Mary

[to the bartender] Take a walk.

Delinda

I thought you weren't talking to me.

Mary

Oh, I'm not talking to you. I'm yelling at you.

Delinda

You know what? I'm tired of walking on eggshells around you. Danny wanted to marry you. You gave him his ring back. It's over! You don't have dibs on him anymore, so get over it!

Mary

Poor Derek. He never even saw it coming.

Delinda

Well maybe poor Derek and poor Mary should get together and trade sob stories.

Mary

You'd like that, wouldn't you? I swear, you are just pathological.

Delinda

Now you're talking out of your ass.

Danny McCoy

[kissing Delinda] Do you realize how great this is?

Delinda Deline

What? The sex?

Danny

The whole thing: sex, we like to hang out together, we make each other laugh.

Delinda

You going to waste time talking about feelings or you want to get busy?

Delinda

Before we start, since this is our first real date, let's pretend like we just met. That we're just getting to know each other.

Danny

That's kind of lame.

Delinda

No it's not! Just tell me something about you I don't already know. Something embarrassing.

Danny

I stole a pack of gum when I was eight.

Delinda

That's not embarrassing.

Danny

Okay, well top it!

Delinda

Okay. I once fell asleep in my own vomit.

Danny

Outstanding! [they high-five]

Delinda Deline

You're never going to get away.

If that's the case, why not kill you right now?

Delinda

Because you need me. I'm the only chip you've got left, Chips.

I've got 50 million chips, blondie. You're just chump change to me.

Delinda

You're going to die, you know. They shut down your airport. It's only a matter of time.

By the time the police figure any of this out I'll be on a beach earning twenty percent. [Delinda laughs] I'm glad you think this is all funny.

Delinda

What's funny is you actually think the police will be involved. There will be no police, no FBI. There will only be men whose sole responsibility will be to hunt you down and kill you. All of you. And they will. They always do.

[on the phone] What did you just say to me?

Ed

I said no. Listen to me, you scumbag. The deal was the money for my daughter. Now if you had just given her back all of this crap would be over. Now it's my show and I'm not letting you leave. [hangs up]

Delinda

Sucks to be you.

Delinda Deline

Hey, I need a few annoying habits of Danny's. I have a list going.

Sam Marquez

I can't help you.

Delinda

You don't think there's anything annoying about Danny?

Sam

I think there are about a million things, but I don't have the four hours necessary to get into it.

Sam

Okay, how about the fact that he's a little too chummy-chummy with your father. That's creepy.

Delinda

You're right.

Sam

And have you ever noticed that every time that boy walks past a mirror he's got to look in it? [turns to see Delinda fixing her hair in a reflective sign] You guys will be great.

Delinda

Wait, what did you say after mirror?

Delinda Deline

I just want our first Christmas together to be special, do you know what I mean?

Sam Marquez

He is just pissing away his money.

Delinda

Isn't that what you want?

Sam

Of course it's what we want, but we want people to piss away their money correctly.

Delinda

Oh. I didn't know there was a correct way to piss away money.

Sam

Well there is! Now what is it you're going on about?

Delinda

It's Danny and mine's first Christmas. I'm planning a special, candlelit romantic Christmas Eve dinner. Then a little cuddling by the fire --

Sam

Okay, hold it. I don't want to hear about you and Danny playing hide the salami in front of the fireplace or under the Christmas tree.

Delinda

Why does everyone think that's all we do?

Sam

Because you two couldn't stop banging each other if your lives depended on it. [Delinda smiles] In fact, I'm surprised you two aren't permanently attached at the crotch.

Delinda

I have no idea what to get Sam for Christmas.

Mary Connell

How about anti-evil pills? Oh, that's right, the ones she got last year didn't do the trick.