Sir Ebrum quotes from Kirby: Right Back at Ya!

Sir Ebrum

What my wife means to say is that we don't get a chance to see you enough, Your Majesty.

Sir Ebrum

I dare say we have a spirit among the spirits, if you'll pardon the unintentional pun, sire.

Sir Ebrum

You're quite right, men can cook too. That's why I'm making dinner tonight.

Sir Ebrum

Though we've been married for years, I've never given your mother a ring.

Escargoon

Monster!? That's ridiculous! There's no monster in this castle!

Yes, there is! It's big and it's scary and it eats everything in sight!

Escargoon

That's King Dedede! There's no monster. Now go back to your homes so His Majesty can finish his supper in peace!

Hey, wait a minute, Escargoon! Not so fast! [Tiff, her brother Tuff, and their parents Sir Ebrum and Lady Like enter the throne room] How do we know you're not lying again?

Yeah, like you usually do?

Escargoon

You have no right to speak to me that way. Your parents should slap you silly.

Papa, something funny's going on!

Sir Ebrum

You might be right, Tiff. A monster is the kind of thing Dedede would love.

Lady Like

The king must be behind this!

Escargoon

You're a court official, how dare you accuse his royal highness! [to King Dedede] Want me to check 'em in for a two-week stay in the dungeon, sweet kingy?

King Dedede

[Laughs and turns to face everyone else] A monster, huh? Would the monster happen to look anything like that? [He points to a fish tank containing a small octopus]

That's it! That's the monster!

Except it was a hundred times bigger!

King Dedede

[laughs] Well you can see this ain't no monster, it's my new pet octopus. And the only thing he likes to eat is sardines.

King Dedede

Hehehehe. Little fella wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was on the end of a fishhook! [laughs]

Escargoon

Of course it wouldn't. Now get out and go back to your trailer park so the king can have his dessert! Go on! Poof, you're gone!

Tell me, citizens of Dream Land. For what purpose have you come to consult me?

Sir Ebrum

We seek your wisdom and knowledge, Kabu! For three nights a giant monster has been stealing our sheep.

Lady Like

And it's robbing me of my beauty sleep.

King Dedede says it's not his monster...

But I don't believe that rascal.

You know the truth, Kabu!

Please tell us where the monster is, Kabu, and how we can make it go away.

The monster is here. And all of Dream Land is in grave danger.

Why did he come here?

It was called here by your own King Dedede. [in the distance, Dedede and Escargoon are watching from Dedede's tank]

Escargoon

Sounds like the big Kabu-na's got your number, crownie.

King Dedede

[punches Escargoon on the head] That tattle-telling tiki!

The monster was created, by one far more powerful than King Dedede.

I'd like to lock both of them up.

What can we do to stop them?

There is nothing you can do.

Sir Ebrum

Oh dear!

Lady Like

Oh dear me!

Then is Dream Land doomed?

Can anybody help, Kabu?

There is one hope... a Star Warrior traveling through space... whose name is Kirby.

Kirby.

Yay, Kirby!

Hmmm, bet he's cute!

King Dedede

[He and Escargoon enter] That's trash you're talking, Kabu. Ain't no such person as Kirby.

Escargoon

That's right. You're full of Kabu-loney.

Kabu can see the future.

King Dedede

Then why don't you predict what's gonna happen when I push this here button?

I predict you will not push it.

King Dedede

Hey Escargoon, did ya hear that one? [laughs] Well I predict you're dead wrong!

King Dedede

QUIET!!! [pointing at Tiff] You're hidin' somethin' from me!

Hmph.

Sir Ebrum

Please, Your Majesty, calm down.

Lady Like

Use your brain instead of your mouth. [Sir Ebrum tries to shush her]

King Dedede

Sir Ebrum. Lady Like. This here daughter of yours is holdin' information from me. She keepin' secrets about Kirby.

Escargoon

You've been aiding an alien, you traitor.

Well if she's a traitor, prove it!

King Dedede

It just so happens I got proof right here. [holds up a picture of a familiar-looking scene] This picture look familiar?

That's Kirby beatin' the monster!

King Dedede

[tears another picture in half] Now what do you got to say for yourselves?

Lady Like

[as she and the rest of the family look at the pictures] That Kirby is really photogenic.

Sir Ebrum

Did you use a digital camera, Sire?

King Dedede

Listen here! You two think you're smart, don't ya? Well I'm a lot smarter. [holds up a picture of Kirby's starship] Kirby ain't goin' nowhere without this!

But mom, who needs to know subtraction?

Lady Like

You do, when I subtracts your allowance!

[gulps] Daaaddyyyyy...

Sir Ebrum

Stiff upper lip, boy. Your mother's only joshing.

Lady Like

Ebrum. If we don't teach Tuff discipline, who will? After all, we are his parents.

That's right, Lady Like. You are Tuff's parents.

But where did we come from?

Sir Ebrum

Oh, well, you see, one day, a rather large stork popped by and--

Yeah, in your dreams, dad.

Lady Like

Tuff!

[tugs on Lady Like's dress a little] Why don't you just tell us the truth, mom? We can handle it.

Lady Like

Ah, we found them in a cribbage patch, sweetie.

Sir Ebrum

Yes. The same place we got you and your brother from.

That's baloney! Where did they really come from?!

Sir Ebrum

[as he and Lady Like move their children out of their quarters] No need to concern yourselves with ancient history.

Lady Like

Too much thinking is bad for your brain.

Does this mean I don't have to do my math homework?

Lady Like

Of course not, darling. [closes door]

You think we're gonna get weird like that when we get old?

Probably.

Escargoon

Freeze!

There's no escape.

Leave Kirby alone!

You two wimps think you can stop me?

At least we can protect the Kirbys.

You look familiar. Yes, I remember. You're Fofa! Yes. I'm sure of it. You're Fofa.

Fofa?

Who's that?

Fofa! Fofa! Fofa!

Fofa was your name before I split you in two.

Huh?

[starts flashback and narrates] That was some time ago.

Well, King Sucker's back to get his pocket picked again.

Nightmare

Sell him Fofa. Better yet: chop it and charge him double. [laughs]

Brilliant idea, eNeMeE.

No! Let me go, you creep! I don't wanna be sent to hurt anybody!

All you can do is float in the air, you useless little clown. We're splitting you in two.

In two?! No please, you can't!

King Dedede

These puny two ain't monsters.

Escargoon

Yeah, two-for-one sales are always a ripoff.

King Dedede

[growls and throws Fololo and Falala down to Sir Ebrum and Lady Like] Y'all look after these here scrawny rejects 'cause I don't want 'em.

Sir Ebrum

Ah, but Your Majesty...

Lady Like

We already have a brand new mouth to feed.

King Dedede

Then ye're lucky these two ain't got no mouths! [laughs]

So that's where we came from...

We used to be one, and now we're two. [flashback ends]

This was the very moon rod used to split you in two.

We're really Fofa.

Fofa. I like that name. [laughs] We finally know where we came from!

Right! We're not just Fololo and Falala.

We're closer than that.

We're really Fofa!

[as King Dedede gets up] I guess that's why we get along so well. Right, Falala?

Right, Fololo!

King Dedede

Hmph.

[as she and Tuff look on] Tuff, look.

I wonder what that sun rod does.

That must be the one that puts them back together.

You two will never be one again.

Yes, we will.

We'll show you!

I bet it's one of those monsters.

Sir Ebrum

Is this another plot against Kirby?

King Dedede

I ain't plottin' against nobody! And there ain't no ghost 'cause there can't be no such a thing!

Lady Like

But then what was it that flew in my window?

Sir Ebrum

Why were those bottles floating?!

There's a ghost here!

King Dedede

NUAAAAAAGGGHHHH THE GHOST IS AFTER ME! AND I GOTTA DO SOMETHING BEFORE IT GETS MEEEEEEEAHAHAHA!!!!

Meta Knight

It appears you were able to shamboozle us all, Escargoon.

Sir Ebrum

By jove! You suddenly had me believing in ghosts.

Lady Like

Tuff, I'm ashamed of you!

King Dedede is always doing stuff to scare us. Why shouldn't we scare him?

Kirby

Poyo!

Well, I guess bad things happen to bad kings!

And on that day, all of our dreams came true. The beautiful princess married the handsome prince and they all lived happily ever after. How'd you like that story, Kirby?

Kirby

Poyo.

Ah, I think these fairy tales are bogus. All that prince and princess junk's all made up, anyway.

Maybe so, but fairy tales aren't supposed to be like real life.

Sir Ebrum

Children! Children, we have incredibly exciting news!

Lady Like

A princess is coming to visit Cappy Town!

What?

You mean a real life princess?

Kirby

Poyo?

Sir Ebrum

Yes, the princess Rona! She's making a tour of Dream Land and she's scheduled a short visit with us!

Princess Rona?

Kirby

Poyo.

Lady Like

We don't have time to talk! The princess is coming, we have to skedaddle!

He-hey! This is awesome!

You said princesses were junk.

Princesses in fairy tales are, but princesses in Cappy Town aren't!

Kirby

Poyah!

Sir Ebrum

Did you get a glimpse of our coastline as you came in, Princess Rona?

Yes, it was so beautiful and interesting, Sir Ebrum.

Lady Like

[sighs]

King Dedede

I wanna make you miiiine ♪ Oh yeeeah, babyyy ♪ How's about we get hitched, honey?

Sir Ebrum

Good gracious!

King Dedede

Marry me, sugar pie. Can't you see I wanna make you my one and only flushin' bride?

Excuse me!

King Dedede, I see you still persist in trying to woo the princess. [the Waddle Dees focus their lights on her] However, the princess remains unmoved by your misguided affection.

King Dedede

You stay outta this, ya pointy-headed pipsqueak!

Then the princess will speak for herself.

I am sorry, but I cannot accept your proposal.

King Dedede

[cries] I wanna marry the pretty princess!

Escargoon

[To Princess Rona] You've broken the king's heart! [softly] How? I don't know, he doesn't have one.

King Dedede

You've made a mock-aroon of me, Mushroom Head! Let's duel! [throws glove at Rona]

Lady Like

Ebrum... [faints and is caught by Sir Ebrum again]

I accept your challenge.

Oh, no.

Kirby

Poyo.

Lady Like

It's a smoke factory.

Sir Ebrum

I don't think so, my dear.

It's totally awesome, isn't it, Tiff?

If Dedede's involved, I bet it's totally awful.

Sir Ebrum

I say, this smoke is horrid.

Lady Like

I hope the air quality inside is better than outside.