Gonard quotes from Kappa Mikey

Gonard

[talking on cell phone] Mikey, you gotta get here. They're gonna put out the cake soon, and I think I ate the box with all the candles in it.

Gonard

[angrily] You made me learn how to cook delicious foods!? Do you know how useless that is to me!?

Gonard

[holding the novel 'War and Peace'] No food for me; I'm too busy feeding my brain with book knowledge. [takes bite out of book and with mouth full] Mmm, verbs... mmm. Pass the syrup.

Gonard

If you want this butt camera back send 1000 unmarked cookies to my mouth by 3 o'clock tomorrow.

Gonard

[Talking to sandwich] No mayo I said, but you wouldn't listen. [jams sandwich into paper shredder, machine overloads as sparks and smoke fly out]

Gonard

And I want sandwiches! [Bangs fist against wall] The good kind...with bread on the outside.

Gonard

[reading card] Happy Birthday to the world's greatest son. MOG! It's my birthday!?

Gonard

I know how to turn that frown upside down. [Gonard starts doing a stand up comedy routine] How 'bout that Ozu folks? I mean he's so old, I told him to act his age and he died! And his shoes, hiyo!

Gonard

But what if space is time and what if time is space? And what if space is space?... Are you gonna finish that sandwich?

Gonard

[in girl's voice] Please let him go!

Gonard

[in William Shatner voice] You'll... have to... kill me first.

Gonard

[in girl's voice] You mean like this?

Guano

Gonard, what are you doing? You're already on the show.

Gonard

Oh... right. [embarrassed chuckle]

Ozu

This is terrible. All these actors stink.

Gonard

That last guy was good.

Ozu

That was you!

Guano

You didn't destroy Ozu's bonsai tree with a samurai sword, did you?

Mikey

Uhhh... kinda.

Mitsuki

Mikey, Ozu's gonna kill you!

Gonard

He'll send you back to America!

Guano

He'll cancel the show!

Mikey

I'll never walk on the moon!

Mikey

What? It's been on my mind.

Guano

Who could leave such horrible rumors in the paper?

Gonard

Who indeed

Guano

Mitsuki was with Lily the whole time

Gonard

Indeed.

Guano

Yes Man and Ozu never left the studio.

Gonard

Indeed.

Guano

And I was teaching you to speak with a british accent

Gonard

[In a british accent] Rather.

Guano

That leaves only 1 person...

Gonard

Gonard.

Guano

What?! You did it?

Gonard

No.

Gonard

Friends stick together. [outside to the police] Mikey's with us! If you arrest him, you have to arrest all of us!

Fine. You're all under arrest.

Gonard

You'll have to come and get us!

Fine. We'll come and get you.

Gonard

Take the elevator! From my experience, it's faster!

Fine. We'll take the elevator.

Guano

[referring to Lily] What makes you think she would choose you?

Gonard

[talking while eating spaghetti] Because I am a gentleman!

Excuse me, that's mine.

Gonard

And it is delicious!

Gonard

I think I broke one of my livers.

Lily

You only have one liver.

Gonard

How many do I need to live?

Lily

One.

Gonard

I'm in trouble.