So what brings you to my shredquarters, Nick?
We're here for the summer. We're taking in the sights.
All right, all right. Hey, you want a fish taco? You want a fish taco. Guys, dos fish tacos-- one for Nick and one for his friend-girlfriend.
Macy- We're just--
Whoa, she's not-- Macy runs our website.
Yeah? Well, I've got a Web empire. I use it to spread my message. It's all about easy livin', saving the ocean. And if you want to be cool, buy my stuff.
Yeah, that's where I score my stone juice. That's what a guava will get you, right, bro?
And for you it's on the house.
Macy
Oh.
Well, see, we're more about our fans than selling stuff.
That's Noble. Hey, maybe I could interest you In a position on my website, Working closely with me, of course.
Macy
I am?
You're way too busy with the JONAS site.
Macy
No. No, I'm not. We're on vacation.
Where did you get that idea?
Macy
From you this morning. You said I was offline.
Amigos, I don't want to make waves, Just want to ride 'em. But if you change your mind, Here's my card. Dudes, what's the E.T.A. on those tacos?
Macy
Thanks.
It's cool. I ate at home.
You want something to drink?
Macy
Huh.
Macy
Nope.
Macy
So how exactly am I too busy to work for stone's website?
Well, the truth is I wanted to let you relax before I hit you with all the big ideas for the site.
Macy
Oh, I'm relaxed. Hit me.
Well, to start, pictures-- band pictures, pictures of the band.
Macy
So you're saying more pictures.
Yes, exactly. Other stuff, website stuff, like weather reports, movie schedules, stock market reports. Did you know that Japan has its own stock market?
Macy
Yeah, I did, Nick. I did. Why didn't you want me to work for Stone?
Because Stone only wants you work for him 'cause you're pretty.
Macy
So you're saying I'm pretty?
I'm saying Stone thinks you're pretty
Macy
Wow. Well, thank you for clearing that up. You know what? You don't get to decide things for me. I do. And I just decided that I'm gonna work for Stone.
Macy
Oh, yeah? Watch me. I quit.
You can't quit, because we don't pay you.
Okay, rule number one, if you work for me, You've got to learn how to surf.
Macy
Oh, I'm in.
All right, so stand like that. Now remember, your shoulders are your steering wheel, so just keep it loose.
Macy
What are you doing here?
You want to work for a surfer? Well, I'm a surfer.
Macy
No, you're not, Nick. You've never surfed in your life.
Dude, I make surfing look easy because I'm great. Now you make being a rock star look easy because it is. Get the difference?
Macy
What are you doing?
Is that dude always this crazy?
Macy
No, never.
You must bring it out in him.
Macy
Nick! Are you okay? (Nick is coughing while Macy help him)
Stone was right. Surfing's hard.
Macy
What has gotten into you?
This whole stone thing got me thinking.
Macy
About what?
You just seem different this summer-- good different.
Macy
Yeah, I guess I'm not that crazy fan girl anymore.
Look, Macy, if you want to go work for Stone, I have no right to stand in your way. In fact I don't think I can stand. I'm just worried that if you do go work for him, we won't be able to spend as much time together.
Macy
Oh. Wow. You know what? I think I'm gonna pass on this whole Stone Stevens thing, so that should free me up for some hanging out time.
Macy
Okay.
Macy
Oh, okay.
Could we start by hanging out here?
Macy
Sounds good.
Macy
Come on, girl. We're almost to the top.
There had better be an air-conditioned mall up there.
Macy
All right, princess. You rest. I'll be right back.
Yeah? Well, if I was a princess, I'd have someone walk for me! (mumbles)
Well, if someone was going to run into me, I'm glad it was you. Hey, I know you. I'm your neighbor. Cute orange house, right?
Sorry I'm... such a mess. I was attacked... by a bear.
I'm guessing you're more of an indoor girl.
I like a wall and a window now and then.
That's probably why I haven't seen you on the trail before.
Macy
Hey. Oh. Umm... (thuds)
So many mosquitoes out here in nature.
Well, maybe we'd be better off doing something inside... like eating some frozen yogurt or something.
Great. I'll pick you up around 7:00.
Macy
What was that?
(singsong voice) I'll tell you in a second. I just have to keep smiling and waving... Until he's down that hill. And we're clear. He just asked me out!
Macy
He's cute!
I know, huh? - I love hiking
Macy
Oh, okay.
I can't believe I'm going on my first L.A date.
Macy
I know. If this is the hiker, you work pretty fast.
Macy
What?
Macy
Right. Well, are you going to tell him about that?
I mean, am I supposed to? I don't know.
Macy
Oh, okay. Let's play it out. I'll be Joe. What would you say to me?
Macy
No! No! How could you betray me?!
Macy, he's not gonna do that.
Macy
Well, I was just showing you the worst-case scenario.
Okay. Well, can we please try the best-case scenario?
Macy
Okay, fine.
Okay. So, Joe, I met this guy and we're gonna go on a date.
Macy
Oh, that's great. Have fun. I never had feelings for you anyway.
That's the best-case scenario?
Macy
Oh, wait. Here's 50 bucks. Take him someplace classy. Huh? Huh? Wasn't that helpful? Wait. Wait! (Stella is walking away and Macy follows her)
Macy
Mm-hmm.
Macy
A scarf.
Macy
Or a sock.
Macy
It depends what part of me gets cold first. What about you?
Macy
Doesn't your cat have fur?
(baby voice) But it goes so well with his little hat.
He's taking care of Vanessa's dog.
Macy
No, he is not!
Yeah, he is. I mean, I don't know how they got so far so fast. Usually you meet, you flirt, you date, you introduce him to your parents And then maybe you let him dogsit.
Macy
Well, he has clearly moved on and so should you.
Oh, I am moving, baby, And Ben is my moving van.
Yes, ladies, this date with Ben is going down. - I am talking frozen yogurt...
Macy
Mm-hmm.
With toppings. (Aunt Lisa gasps) - Maybe a swirl.
Macy
- Now that is the Stella who came to play in L.A. - Hippy bump. (squeals)
I'm good. I'm getting ready.
Macy
- Oh, I'll help.
You know what? I ask the questions around here. So where are you taking Stella tonight? (Macy is spying)
- Um, to get frozen yogurt.
- What do you have against ice cream?
Macy
- Oh, boy.
So as determined by the pre-game flip of a coin, The Kevinator will serve first. By the way, I'm no longer saying "amente." I'm now saying "inator."
The cobra chop is cheating?
Look, Nick. If you can't handle my level of play, you should quit now, - Just like you did third-grade Spanish.
I couldn't roll my Rs because my tongue wasn't fully formed yet.
- Always an excuse with this guy.
You know what? - Just serve the ball, Kevin Percy.
- Don't you use my middle name.
- Oh, I think I just did, Percy. (Dennis gives Kevin the ball)
- Whoo! Nice. Intensamente.
Macy
Code red. Code red. (enters the guest house)
Actually, this is crimson crush.
Macy
No. Joe, Ben, here together.
Macy
Joe is grilling Ben like a shish kebab. - You've gotta get in there.
- Right. Wait. - What about my toes?
Macy
- Just bring them.
So what you're telling me, ben-- If that's your real name-- Is that you're gonna take stella out to "fro-yo," and if it goes well, you might ask her out again?
- Stella. - Don't talk to her.
No, we are talking. We're talking up a storm.
Oh, and you brought them here. Thank you. That is-- that's so sweet. Thank you. Thanks. You-- game room, now.
- Look. If tonight's not gonna work--
- Oh no, it's perfect. It's perfect.
Macy
Hello. - Where have you been? I've been worried sick. It's 8:00.
I've been gone for an hour.
Macy
Okay, let's put it all behind us and tell me everything.
Okay. So we got to the yogurt place--
Macy
- Start earlier.
- He opened the door for me...
Macy
A gentleman.
And then he let me pick the music.
Macy
He cares about your interests.
Then we opened the sunroof so we could look at the stars.
Macy
- Oh.
Macy
- Not his fault.
- Oh, when we got to the date, - He made me something.
Macy
- What? (gasps) He sideburned you?
Yes. Oh, Joe is so cool. - I just said--
Macy
- Uh-huh.
- That can't happen again.
Macy
- No.
Hm-mmm. - How about I sideburn you?
Macy
- Okay. - Let's go full-on werewolf.
Macy
Okay.
Macy
- We're doing it.
- We are shredding "Twinkle Twinkle."
Macy
I think a guitar should always be a two-person instrument.
Depends on the two people. Maybe you should try it on your own.
Macy
Oh. Um - Okay.
- (rock music playing) - Hey, how you doing?
Hey, D.Z., we're kind of in the middle of something.
Introducing D.Z., A.K.A.: Lady candy, as in candy for ladies, not as in, you know, I'm a lady named Candy.
I get it. I don't want to get it, but I get it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have a big date tonight. And-- oh, this is real velour, so if you were to rate my look on a scale of jamming to slamming?
Macy
- Um...
Ow ow, D.Z.! You're hair's really sharp.
Oh, sorry. I must have overgelled.
Macy
Okay, D.Z., back away from the JONAS. Whatever is going on, it can't be that bad.
The-the truth is I'm not the player you think I am. And I've never been on a date before. There, I said it.
Macy
That is a huge shock. - But it's gonna be okay.
All right? I'm meeting Andrea tonight. My threads are busted, And this bling is giving me a rash.
Macy
Okay, I can help you. But you're gonna have to do it my way, understand?
- Yeah, where do we start?
Macy
- Follow me.
Macy
Quit squirming.
Macy
- What did you put in here, glue? (trying to remove the toupee cream from D.Z's hair)
I don't know. It was my grandfather's toupee cream.
Macy
Oh, I'm gonna need a bigger comb. (rock music playing)
So, do we like? (asks Macy about the makeover)
Macy
- No.
Macy
May I present the new and majorly-improved D.Z.?
Wow, D.Z., is that really you?
Holla! Back up the cool bus. Vroom. Beep beep beep beep. (beatboxes) - Whoo.
Macy
I forgot he still talks. It really kills the look.
Wait wait, you guys think I need more than this?
Macy
Girls love a good dresser, but the clothes are just the packaging.
Uh-oh, Macy's about to lay some knowledge on us, D.Z.
Oh, well, D.Z.'s all ears.
Macy
- Well, we like a guy with confidence.
- I reek of confidence. That's my body spray-- "Confidence" by Stone Stevens.
Yeah, there's such a thing as too much confidence. (blows the body spray around him away then he covers his nose)
Macy
We like it when you listen to us.
Oh, like I said, all ears.
Macy
- But still have your own opinions.
- Totally. - (whispers) About what?
Macy
- Oh, I know! We like a guy who can make us laugh...
Well, I got this off the back of a gum wrapper: Why don't seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they'd be called "bay-gulls. - Stop it.
Macy
- But not with jokes. I really hate jokes.
Ahem. Come on, flying baked goods?
Macy
D.Z., just listen. Care about your family and your friends. And show the world you have a beautiful spirit. And always always chew with your mouth closed. - Got it?
Macy
One more thing: If you like a girl, you should tell her, so she's not confused by the messages you're sending.
Got it, processed. Outskis. (leaves)
Macy
- Thank you. So anything I said surprise you at all? Or...?
Jokes-- I didn't know they were a deal breaker. (leaves)
Ready for another lesson?
Macy
No thanks.
How about some "Three Blind Mice"? I hear it's a big hit with the kids these days.
Macy
I'm good. (sighs)
Macy
Nick, when I was telling D.Z. All those things girls like in a guy, I was really talking about all the things I like in a guy.
Macy
And if I, let's say, found this guy who had all of those qualities, - I'd really hope that he'd like me too.
Macy
- Nick, it was you. Okay? I was describing you. - Forget it.
Macy
What?
What I'm trying to say is I like you. And I've been wanting to tell you ever since I saw you this summer.
Macy
Well, there it is. What took you so long?
I guess I was just scared.
Macy
If anyone should be scared, it's me.
Macy
- Because this is crazy. You're a rock star and I'm your--
Macy
- I'm your Macy. I like the sound of that.
This has been such a weird day. (sighs) It feels good to be home. Do you guys think there's such thing as a cat masseuse? I mean, this is L.A., so there probably is. There are like pet therapists and pet psychics. That's crazy stuff. So what are we doing? Do you want to order in? Like, I'm kind of hungry, but I'm kind of not hungry. You know?
Hey, guys. Do you mind going over tomorrow's lines with me?
Actually, man, you rocked it today. I think when it comes to movies, you're a solo act.
Macy
- Plus you're banned from the set.
Holla! Oh, best date ever!
Macy
- So it went well?
Oh yeah, Andrea was definitely feeling me.
Macy
Aww, so you remembered all the stuff I told you about how to act with a girl?
Yeah. Kinda. I sort of blocked you out.
Well, can't wait to meet her.
AAndrea
Yo, D.Z., where you at?
Peeps, Andrea; Andrea, peeps.
AAndrea
What up, playas? Yo, we gotta scoot. I promised your moms I'd have you back to casa D.Z. Before curfew.
Okay. We can just jump in the cool bus. Beep beep beep. (beatboxing) Come on.
Jonas · 237 quotes
