Hey, Macy. What are you doing? Besides making the hallway unsafe for others.
MacyI have a JONAS fan club meeting in half an hour. And I have run out of "JONAS-abilia."
Macy
JONAS-abilia. Something that the guys have touched or used or worn or anything. I always bring in something new for my JONAS Heads but, I am down to my Kevin sandwich crust which they have already seen three weeks ago. (holds the bag with the sandwich crust)
Well, I can get you some fresh JONAS-abilia... as long as I never have to say that word again.
Macy
But you hate all that JONAS fan stuff.
Yeah, I know, but you're a friend in need. And besides, I mean, I make their clothes, I'm part of the fabric of their lives. You get it?
Macy
Yes. Would you like a sympathy chuckle or a pity snort?
Macy
(feigns laughter, snorts) Could you bring a sock? I mean, they would go crazy over a sock especially if it still smelled like them.
Macy
Well, maybe just a shirt?
Macy
But don't wash it.
Mmm-- we're back to gross. (leaves)
Macy
So you've all seen Kevin's sandwich crust? Mm-hmm. Oh! How about Nick's toenail clippings? (rattles) No, because I showed you those last week. (puts the clipboard on the table) (chuckles) (sighs) Okay, so this next item might not even it's there. But, trust me it's there. All right? I give you... Joe's eyelash. (shows her fan club) Not too close! It is fragile.
(enters the classroom) Oh, pardon me for a moment.
Macy
Please enjoy some bran muffins shaped like Kevin's head. (points to the muffins then the fan club walks to the table) Where have you been? And where are my smelly socks? I am dying here.
Sorry, no socks. Instead, I bring you... genuine JONAS worn by Kevin, Nick and Joe on their most recent concert tour. (squealing, giggling) (the fan club runs to the front of the classroom)Yep, that's right. Come up here and smell 'em cause apparently, you guys are-- you're into that. Okay.
Macy
Thank you so much, Stella.
Mm, no problem. (hugs Macy) Now carry on in your weird, yet apparently harmless world. (walks to the fan club)
Macy
Oh, wait! Everybody, this is Stella Malone! She's best friends with JONAS! (fans gasping, chattering) (fan club surrounds Stella) Uh, JONAS heads! Eyes over here...
And I designed that outfit. I know.
Macy
... On me. (the fan club ignores her but she picks up a bran muffin to take a bite then puts it the napkin)
You guys are gonna love this one. Okay.
Macy
Stella, we need to talk.
Yeah yeah yeah, hold on. I was just getting ready to tell everyone why Kevin's shirt pocket is right in the middle of his chest.
Macy
Because he likes to keep his lucky guitar pick in there. Everybody knows that.
Well, that's what they print in the magazines, but the real reason is... I messed up.
GGirl
Oh my gosh! (all chattering, giggling)
These JONAS heads are adorable. What's up?
Macy
(gasps) What is up... is that show and tell ran an extra seven minutes. (she and Stella are looking at the clipboard) We missed snack time and I almost choke on a Kevin head and nobody even noticed. You're stealing my fan club.
Macy, don't be ridicious. This is your fan club, you're the president.
Fred (Macy and Stella turn around) All in favor of voting Stella Malone as our new fan club president, say "aye"! (all squealing, cheering) (Macy gasps) (a girl takes off Macy's picture of the bulletin board and replaces it with Stella's picture then the girl throws Macy's picture away)
Macy
I would yell at you, but a fan club rule says no yelling at the president. Ironically, a rule written by me!
And eventually, Joe got his ice cream. (Macy walks by to take her two clipboards and puts them in her bag then Stella stands up) But you know tells the story better? Macy. Macy, tell them-- tell them the story.
Macy
You just told them the story.
Okay. Oh. We'll tell about the crazy night in Toledo when Kevin got that huge hole in his pants. This one's so funny.
Macy
(flatly) One night in Toledo, Kevin ripped a hole in his pants. Stella fixed them. Wow. She's a genious. (walks away from Stella and the fan club)
Macy! What did you say, Macy? Did you just say you can take the fan club on an exclusive tour of the JONAS firehouse? (all gasping)
Macy
You just said that.
Macy
Okay, you can control my fan club, but you cannot control my mouth, Stella Malone. (Stella stops her from leaving the classroom)
Oh! Did you hear that? Macy's taking us to meet JONAS. (all squealing)
All right, mom are about two hours away.
There’s not enough time. There’s not enough time! There's not enough time!
I'm sorry, Nick. But there’s not enough time.
(beeps) There, problem solved.
And see? The plane's not moving anymore. I think I bought us some valuable time.
Let me explain something to you. The plane still moves in the air even if it doesn't move on the screen, you ding-dong.
Ding-dong?! (scoffs) Well, you're a knucklehead.
Knucklehead? Really, Kevin? Knucklehead?
Guys, stop before somebody else calls somebody a goofball and we all regret it. Nick closes the computer) (the fan club, Stella and Macy enter the house) (fan club screaming) (Kevin, Joe and Nick are pointing the other way then the fan club looks that way but they find that Kevin, Joe and Nick aren't at the living room) (Kevin, Joe and Nick are hiding at the kitchen)
What do you think mom's gonna do first, cry, scream or faint?
Probably all three of them, but we won't be there to see because we'll be dead.
Hey, guys, awesome party. Thanks for the invite. (she and Macy are crawling to the kitchen to hide with Kevin, Joe and Nick)
We're not throwing a party. We're trying to get everyone out of the house.
We've got to get this place cleaned up before mom and dad get home.
Which is in less than two hours.
And before you go there, pausing the little plane on the computer doesn't help. (Nick shakes his head in agreement)
Macy
Wait, all you guys need is this place cleaned up? No problem. (stops hiding) Hey, girls! And Fred... (he waves) (points to the floor) See those potato chips on the floor? They're left over from JONAS. (the fan club are looking at the floor) (fan club screaming) (the fan club runs to the
Macy
They’re JONAS heads.
Macy, you are queen of the JONAS heads. Please please please take back the presidency. No offense. I'm just not cut out for this kind of... weird.
Macy
A few people are.
Macy
Always. (she and Stella rekindle their friendship then they hug) Unless you try to take over my fan club again. (Kevin, Nick and Joe are walking to the other side of the kitchen counter) Then you should probably watch your back.
(holds a plate) Hey, anybody want to scrape off real cheese crust from an actual JONAS plate? (three members of the fan club clean the plate)
Who wants to vacuum the JONAS living room? You get to keep anything you find in the bag. (whirring) (Fred vacuums)
Okay, uh, who wants to help me scrub the bathroom? All right. (rock music playing) (the fan club members are cleaning the kitchen at a fast pace)
Macy
Okay okay, you wore me down. You can have your present now. Happy birthday.
Thank you. (takes the present) What is it? Is it chocolate. I bet it's music. Is it a scarf? Two scarves? I totally love scarves. Oh, this is my 10th birthday. (sees the picture) Joe, Nick, Kevin and me, we sat around in our pajamas playing that board game dopey doctor and we drank hot chocolate with those little mini marshmallows in it.
Macy
Aww.
Macy, is this--is this you?
Macy
I kind of added myself in. I know I didn't know you guys back then, but if I did, I'd be right there, right?
Macy
Yay. (hugs Stella)
Oh, thank you so much. I love it.
Macy
You're welcome. (Stella puts her present back into the gift bag and stands up with Macy) So... what are the guys doing for your birthday this year.
(picks up her school bag) Oh, well, you know they haven't said anything about it yet.
Macy
Uh-huh.
I'm sure they're throwing an awesome party. So find something great to wear.
Macy
Oh, I can't wait. I'm so excited, I can't even sit. (tries to sit but can't) See? (tries to sit again) Nope, not gonna happen.
(enters the atrium) (drumroll) I have a huge surprise for you.
We are gonna remember this day forever.
At 6:00, JONAS has an interview with Robert Lincoln Coler.
He's who? (drumroll stops) I mean, that's great. He's huge.
Yeah, so we need you to come over early and help out with all the wardobe. Kevin thinks we should wear leather vests.
I'm gonna get there early.
Perfect. I've gotta go-- science. You get there late, you have to sit in the front and Mr. Engel’s a spitter. Bye. (runs out of the atrium)
Macy
Joe forgot your birthday.
No. No, he didn't. They do this to me every year. They try to psyche me out. Obviously he's throwing me a surprise party.
Macy
How excited are you?
It's just a birthday. (tries to sit but can't) Okay, maybe a little excited. (both squeal) (Macy and Stella jump then leave the atrium)
Well, thank you, gentlemen. (turns around and talks to Kevin, Joe and Nick) I found you guys quite perspicacious. (shakes Kevin's hand)
(tells Nick and Kevin) That means "insightful." Or was it "to sweat like a cow?" (Robert chuckles and leaves then Joe closes the door) (Stella and Macy are downstairs)
Macy
Yay.
So, I thought that went really great. What are we doing now?
Macy
Excellent question, Stella. What are we doing on this very special evening?
I don't know about you guys. But showing my better side all day has got me exhausted. I'm going to bed. Good night, guys. (walks upstairs)
Yeah, I'm wiped. Have a good night, guys. See you soon. (walks upstairs)
Yeah, after even three hours, I'm tired of talking about myself. Oh, wait, I almost forgot. Don't forget your purse. (walks upstairs)
They- they forgot my birthday.
Macy
I can’t believe they did that. I’m gonna go yell at them.
No, I don't want you to go yell at them.
Macy
Good, 'cause, I could never yell at them. I guess I'll see you tomorrow?
Macy
Happy birthday, dear Stella. Happy birthday to you.
Macy
Bye. (leaves) (door opens, closes)
Bye. (walks to the table to take her purse) (electricity crackles) (notices the black out) What? (Tom is walking the stairs with a candle) I knew it.
Oh! Hey, Stella. I didn't know you were still here. So, I blew a fuse plugging in my hot comb. (gives Stella the candle) (flashlight clicks) I'll get this fix in a jiff. (walks away and Stella turns around then Tom leaves) (door closes)
Happy... birthday to me. (blows the candle) (door opens) (thudding) Ow! Ouch! (door closes) (the power is on) (Stella opens the door and she has a jacket on her head then she removes it from her head) (leaves)
(turns around) Something on your mind, Macy?
Macy
(angry) You know, if I didn’t like you guys so much I wouldn’t like you guys so much. You forgot Stella's birthday.
That's impossible. Her birthday's after Joe's, which is before mine.
Macy
Mm-hmm.
The 7th? Which was yesterday! (gasps) Okay, we need to find Stella and apologize immediately.
Macy
Oh, she's gonna be really mad.
(puts his arm around Macy) Oh, you know, I think I got it covered. (he and Macy walk away)
(walks to the table) All right, let's get this party started. (Stella carries a tray with hot chocolate)
Oh my gosh. I can't believe that you still have this dopey doctor game. (puts the tray on the table) (Nick takes a cup of hot chocolate and drinks it) I mean, with the fake stethscope and the fake casts and everything. (Nick puts his cup of hot chocolate on the table)
I feel fake sick already.
Well, it means a lot that to me you guys are doing this. I mean, with all your fame and success that you still have time for me.
Stella, you know how we feel about you. And tonight is all about Stella and only Stella. A large order of Stella with Stella on the side.
Gotta run. (runs back upstairs while taking off his pajamas as he goes runs back to the bedroom to sit on his chair again)
(sits next to Robert Lincoln Coler and tells him a story) And ever since then I've been a boxer brief man. I hope that answered your question.
Well, actually my question was about your favorite subject in school... um, and I was asking him.
Hey, guys, ready for Dopey Doctor?
I'm sure it's nothing. You know what? Let me just go che-- I'll be right back. (takes Nick's pajamas and leaves go to downstairs while wearing them as he buttons it) Hey, guys!
Hey, aren't those Nick's pajamas?
Macy
Where are Joe and Nick?
Doing the interview. What interview? What am I talking about?
Um, I should go. Oh, look-- ice! (holds the ice bucket and runs with it upstairs) (Macy and Stella notices something is up)
(tries to wipe the hot beverage off his pants while spinning around) Oh! Oh! Ah.
Hi, guys. (offers Nick) Ice? (Nick puts his hand into the ice bucket)
Macy
Stella, there you are. I have the Coler interview with JONAS.
I'm really not interested. (starts to walk away)
Macy
(reads) "Friendship is a major chord in the life of JONAS. They couldn't stop talking about their stylist and best friend, Stella Malone." (Stella stops walking away)
(turns around and walks back to Macy) Okay, give me that. (takes Macy's cellphone) "Said Joe, we feel blessed to have Stella in our lives. She's my inspiration." Oh.(Joe, Nick and Kevin enter the hallway to walk to Stella and Macy) (turns around while hiding Macy's phone)
Stella, I know you probably never wanna see us again...
Which would be kinda hard, since we go to school together and you work with us...
Unless you want to make yourself some really fantastic blindfolds.
We just want you to know that we're really really really really really sorry.
Macy
Really really really really really sorry.
I don't know. It seems like a pretty crummy way to treat your inspiration.
"Inspiration"? Wait a minute. You read the article.
How long were you going to make us sweat?
I cleared my afternoon. (chuckles) Guys, what you said in the Coler interview was the best birthday present I could've ever asked for.
Yeah. Thank you. (hugs Joe, Kevin and Nick)
Macy
Oh. Guys. (also hugs Joe, Kevin and Nick) (grunts)
Come on, five-second dance party! (dance music playing) (he dances) Who’s in it? (music stops) I’m turning into my father. (walks away)
30 seconds to save the patient, doctor.
This is not a scalpel. This is a cake fork.
Macy
I can't watch.
Get her out of here. She's not sterile.
The patient has recovered. Nice work, dopey doctor. "Move ahead three spaces."
Macy
(laughs)
(sighs) (sits down) I remember this game being a lot more fun.
Thanks to Nick's cookie, I totally had the most fun ever in calculus.
So, how do you think you think?
Oh, I absolutely failed. (Macy, Stella and Joe look at him) But thanks to Nick's cookie, I could care less. (Van Dyke walks to Kevin, Joe, Stella and Macy)
Hey, Stells, you busy Saturday?
Van Dyke, Stella's not gonna want to--
(Joe looks at her) I'm not busy.
You are now. You and the van man are gonna hit up the new restaurant. They serve like 17 different types of meat.
Dude, you're talking about "El Meat"? That place will wrap anything you want in bacon.
Oh, give me a meaty high five! (he and Kevin high five each other)
That sounds great.(Kevin looks at Stella while smiling) (Joe also looks at Stella then he and Macy look at each other and both of them are smiling) Actually, you know, I'm gonna have to pass 'cause Joe and I have chemistry.
Macy
Well--
J-- Joe and I have to study for chemistry 'cause we have a chemistry test with chemicals.
Hey, it's cool. Next time, maybe.
Yeah, sure. Maybe. Well, I have history. (groans) Bye. (walks away) (Kevin and Joe leave)
Macy
Hi. Remember me?
Oh yeah, you're that girl-dude. At the inter-league baseball game, you struck me out seven times.
Macy
Actually, it was 11 times.
Macy
The officials were. Yeah, they wrote in the record book and on the trophy.
Well, you were dressed like a guy.
Macy
Well, you screamed like a girl.
Fair enough. (he walks upstairs)
Macy
(runs fast to tell Stella, Joe and Nick) Excuse me! Someone posted unauthorized pictures of the guys on my JONAS website. Look. Oh hang on, I’m not really sure how to use my new smart phone yet, (barking noise come from phone) oops, I think I just bought a puppy.
Ooh, I was in the middle of sneezing there.
Look at this one. I'm in the middle of a yawn. But, I still look pretty good. (Stella punched him) Ow.
There's obviously undercover paparazzi at school.
Maybe we should handle this like they do on "Crime Scene Cops." First you need some cool shades, then the cool camera angles. When we get our hands on the guys taking these photos, it won't be a pretty picture. (guitar riff plays) Hey-yyyy!
Macy
Okay, that was cool.
Shh. You'll ruin the moment. Now everyone, look serious in a different direction.
Maybe we should spend time looking cool and more time looking for the guy who did this.
(punched Nick lightly) Good thinking, detective. Maybe it's a janitor hiding a camera in his mop! I'm keeping my eye on you. (gives the broken mop back to the janitor then he walks away then Macy, Stella and Nick leave opposite directions) Hey, lunch lady, why are you walking so fast?
Macy
I'll find you, you evil undercover paparazzi. (her cellphone beeps) Oh no, my new phone is take pictures and uploading them to my website by itself. (gasps) The evil undercover paparazzi is me!
Okay, I am done with you, you are going to feel like the perfect girlfriend for Kevin. First lesson, I am going to teach you how to walk gracefully. Watch me. (shows a demonstration and Anya watches)
How did you get your bones to move like that?
Oh, you just pretend you don't have any.
Oh! (tries to walk gracefully but can't)
And canceling my afternoon plans.
Hey, Macy, how's it going with paparazzi case?
Macy
Oh, I found the undercover paparazzi so you guys don't think about it anymore. All done.
Macy
Case closed.
Just one more thing, Macy.
Macy
Okay.
You know, we took one of those unauthorized pictures from your website and blew it up.
It turns out our little undercover paparazzo accidently took a picture of his... or her hand. (shows a picture of the hand) Does that nail polish look familiar?
Macy
Thinky pinky pink. A lot of girls wear thinky pinky pink. I think.
Hmmm. Then we took one of the pictures and blew it up even larger. On the hand we noticed the limited-edition JONAS fan club ring.
Know anyone who wears that ring?
Macy
(squeaks) (hides her hands behind her back) No.
Interesting. Well, then we blew up the picture a little larger. (Macy sighs) And we noticed a relection in the ring. Eh heh.
Macy
Okay, it was me. But this thing is brand new. And I didn't know how use it. Please don't hate me.
Don't worry. We know you would never do anything like this on purpose.
And I guess this is what happens when-- you don't read your instruction manual. (guitar riff playing) Hey-yyyy! (Nick takes Joe's sunglasses and drops them to the floor to smash them five times) What are you doing? Uh! Uhh!
Ahhh! (Joe sighs) I guess you could call what I just did to your glasses a real...(puts on his sunglasses) eye opener. (guitar riff playing) Hey-yyyy! You're right. This is fun. (walks away from Macy and Joe)
Macy
But-- yeah. Totally. (leaves)
Do you have any glasses? (walks after Macy and asks her) (guitar riff plays)
Jonas · 237 quotes
