NickThe world's largest population of reindeer can be found in...?
Nick
Bingo.
Yes! Okay. The reindeer crossing sign is the most popular souvenir in...?
Nick
What region starts with "sc" and ends with "andinavia"?
Is this a trick question?
Nick
Surprisingly... no.
How can Anya not be impressed?
Nick
I don't know.
Hey, Joe, come here, try this. (pours lutefisk into a cup)
Okay, fine. I'm so proud of you. (takes the cup of lutefisk from Kevin)
Is that what I think it is? (points to the lutefisk pudding that Kevin poured into the cup)
Ewwww! (spits into the sink and Nick covers his mouth) (Joe scrubs his tongue with the brush) Why did you do that?
I didn't really know how to make it so I just put some fish in a blender and chopped, serrated, diced.
(scrubs tongue with the brush) Why would you do that?!!
Nick
Poor Kev. Losing Anya must really hurt.
I feel terrible. Even this ice cream is lousy.
That's because it's the leftover lutefisk I put in the freezer. (Joe stops eating to put the spoon back into the bowl and pulls out a lutefisk from the bowl then drop the lutefisk) (car zooms)
Nick
Kev, Stella feels really bad. She was just trying to help Anya become a good girlfriend. The whole fake-dog-diva thing is Anya's deal.
Guys, relax, trust me. I am so happy I found out who the true Anya sooner rather than later. Can you see me with Kimmy with the heart over the "i"?
Hey, guys, look who's staying with me for the week. (Samantha waves at Kevin, Joe and Nick) This is Samantha Saint Jean, the president of your French fan club.
(French accent) Bonjour, Samantha. I love your fries.
Samantha is here for the international mime festival.
No way! I love to mime! Especially over here in my invisible box. (miming in the unseen box then Samantha opens the door and enter the box then she closes it and miming with Kevin)
Nick
I am not staying here for this. (takes his jacket)
Yeah, let's go get some very visible food. (leaves with Nick)
Really? So we’re just gonna leave ‘em in there? Guys! (walks after Stella and Nick)
Nick
Hey, Macy, how's it going with paparazzi case?
Oh, I found the undercover paparazzi so you guys don't think about it anymore. All done.
Just one more thing, Macy.
You know, we took one of those unauthorized pictures from your website and blew it up.
Nick
It turns out our little undercover paparazzo accidently took a picture of his... or her hand. (shows a picture of the hand) Does that nail polish look familiar?
Thinky pinky pink. A lot of girls wear thinky pinky pink. I think.
Hmmm. Then we took one of the pictures and blew it up even larger. On the hand we noticed the limited-edition JONAS fan club ring.
Nick
Know anyone who wears that ring?
(squeaks) (hides her hands behind her back) No.
Interesting. Well, then we blew up the picture a little larger. (Macy sighs) And we noticed a relection in the ring. Eh heh.
Okay, it was me. But this thing is brand new. And I didn't know how use it. Please don't hate me.
Nick
Don't worry. We know you would never do anything like this on purpose.
And I guess this is what happens when-- you don't read your instruction manual. (guitar riff playing) Hey-yyyy! (Nick takes Joe's sunglasses and drops them to the floor to smash them five times) What are you doing? Uh! Uhh!
Nick
Ahhh! (Joe sighs) I guess you could call what I just did to your glasses a real...(puts on his sunglasses) eye opener. (guitar riff playing) Hey-yyyy! You're right. This is fun. (walks away from Macy and Joe)
But-- yeah. Totally. (leaves)
Do you have any glasses? (walks after Macy and asks her) (guitar riff plays)
(stands on his bed then he walks on the amps and jumps on his bed but one of his shoes) Check this out. (glass shatters) (cat screeches) )British siren blaring) (tires screech) (cow moos) (bagpipes playing)
What's going up here? Joe, did you just break a window with a shoe? That then hit a cat, causing a British ambulance to crash? Which then scared a cow, who sat on a fat guy playing bagpipes?
No, that was my ringtone. Hello? It's for you. (gives his cell phone to Nick)
Nick
Hello? Yeah, hold on. It's for you. (gives Joe's cell phone to Kevin)
(takes Joe's from Nick) Hello? Yeah, oh yeah, he's right here. Hold on. Hey, dad, it's for you. (Joe looks at Kevin and Nick then looks at Tom)
Hello? Oh hey, what's going on?
Nick
Is there someone on the phone?
I don't know. You tell me, shoeless Joe. (Joe looks at his sock then Kevin and Nick look at Joe)
I'll pay for the window. (Kevin and Nick take their guitar off) (Kevin, Joe and Nick are going to their poles)
Oh, hey, Joe your phone. (toss Joe's phone to him)
(Grabs his phone, but ends up falling down the fire pole opening) (yells, thuds) Ahh!
(Looks down the fire pole with Nick) He’s good.
(groans) Kevin, it's been 10 minutes. Will you please just go?
Just so you know, no matter how long you stare at those letters, they're not gonna change.
Then how did my "q" just become an "o"?
Because I gave that to you.
Nick
(walks downstairs and asks Joe) What are you guys playing?
"Word Hole" It's that Belgian board game that we did the commercial for. (Nick takes the top of the box then he remembers the commercial that he, Joe and Kevin did) (announcer speaks German) (Kevin, Nick and Joe are speaking German) Word hole!
Nick
Cool. Can I play?
Too late, 'cause I have a seven letter word and I win!
Plobnrg? That's not a word.
Nick
Then when does it mean?
Sure it is. Hi, I'm Kevin
Nick
Then when does it mean?
"Plobnrg" means "awesome". "Like, hi, I'm Kevin. I just won the board game. I'm so plobnrg".
Guys, the band just got an exciting offer. It's totally plobnrg. How would you boys like to be the judges at the miss most amazing teen
That'd be so cool. (Stella gives a look to Kevin, Joe and Nick)
Nick
Actually, we find those contests to be just glorified beauty pageants, right gentlemen?
And superficial and demeaning.
And it sends a bad message to those hotties-- young women.
Yeah, and I guess I'd agree with all that junk you guys just said.
Guys, spare me. Beauty contests are the only outlet for those poor pathetic pageant girls whose sole talent is walking in a straight line
Nick
All right, well, I mean, in that case...
Let's do it for the hotties.
(clears throat) Good... to go.
Nick
So those must be the girls...
Where? Oh, there. I didn't notice. Whoa.
MMaggie
Oh! Hello, gentlemen. (greets Kevin, Joe and Nick) I'm pageant director Maggie Belle Seward. Welcome to the kream-o dog food superdome, home to this year's miss most amazing teen competition. Yes! (Kevin claps) (she laughs) Saturday night, this is where you will be sitting and judging. (watch
Nick
Why are we clapping?
Wow. Look at all these girls. They're so good looking.
Nick
Joe, they got a lot more going for them than their looks, all right? They're poised, intelligent.
Look at her. She's really intelligent.
Which one? I think they're all geniouses.
I think we should probably go introduce ourselves. I'll start.
Nick
We are the judges. We have to be impartial. In fact, we should have no communication with any of those girls whatsoever.
Nick
(sees that Joe isn't with Kevin and Nick) Where's Joe? (Kevin looks left and right but Joe isn't next to him)
As a judge, it's my duty to remain impartial, (whispers) but I'm definitely voting for you. Next! Hi. As a judge, it's my duty to remain
Nick
No, you're not. (he and Kevin take Joe away from the stage while Kevin shakes his head) Joe, you can't keep promising every girl you're gonna vote for her.
Nick
Where's Kevin? (sees that Kevin isn't with Joe and Nick)
(he is doing the same thing like Joe did earlier) As a judge, I have to be impartial, (whispers) but I'm voting for you. Shh, don't tell anybody-- those girls. (Joe and Nick take him away from the stage)
That's me. (bagpipes playing) (beeps) Look, one of the contestants just sent me a picture of herself playing flute for senior citizens while
What a generous, caring, attractive-- (Nick takes Joe's cellphone to break it in half) What are you doing? (cracks)
You could've just deleted the photo. (Nick gives Joe's cellphone back to him)
So how's the miss most pathetic teen competition?
It's the most amazing teen competition. Duh.
Nick
It's cool. These girls actually have a lot more going for them than you think.
Oh, how sweet... and naive. They don't.
You just don't understand 'cause you're not the pagent type.
What do you mean I'm not the pagent type?
Nick
He just means that these girls are beautiful...
And really talented. Not that you're not all those things.
Those girls are noting but a bunch of bubble-headed gorgeous robots. If I wanted to, I could win that pageant with half my brains tied behind my back.
Wait a minute-- half your brains hanging out battling a bunch of beautiful robots? Now that is a competition I would pay to see.
I don't need a pageant to tell me that I'm just as pretty and talented as any of those girls, not to mention feminine, demure and very very delicate. Make a hole!
Nick
Hmm.
Gentlemen, the next miss most amazing teen... (mimics cheering) Stella Malone. (softly) Thank you. Thank you so much.
I have officially entered the competition.
Nick
How did you even get in? The deadline for enteries was weeks ago.
For some reason, Maggie Belle decided to allow one extra girl into the competition this year. (Maggie's razor buzzing) I'm gonna beat these bubble-headed beauty bots at their own game. (laughs) Not that I care.
Way to go. That's a good attitude.
Nick
You've got to be in it to win it.
You should really go for it.
TATV announcer
This Saturday it's the miss most amazing teen competition with special judges JONAS! Don't miss five time champion Carrie Sue North as she takes on all corners.
CCarrie
For me, it's not about the competition. It's about enjoying the company of other girls who are almost as amazing as me. See you Saturday night.
TATV announcer
Watch her do that Saturday night on stilts.
I don't think Stella knows what she's gotten herself into.
Nick
This is not gonna end well.
Whoever told her to go for this a real doorknob. And yes, I know it was me.
Everybody is watching the video. I'm going to move to a town where there's no internet. (takes her sunglasses off) I'm going to be going to school on a donkey.
Nick
All right, before you go donkey shopping, why don't you check out what everyone's really watching?
It's not what you think, okay? Watch.
(rock music playing) I personally believe that, uh today's most pressing problem is, uh, U.S Americans unable--
You guys actually found a way to make my flub look cool.
There's already over 8 million hits on the video, plus people don't even care what happened at the pageant.
I don't know how thank you guys.
Nick
Yeah. We just stayed all night writing a song, recording it, assembling a camera crew and editing all the footage together. But it was really nothing.
Oh... You guys are the best. Thank you. (hugging Nick, Joe and Kevin) (walks towards a cart) I mean, you know how much I hate looking silly. (shrieks) (camera phones clicking)
Nick
I'll go write a song.
I'll call the camera crew.
I wish there was a falling-- in-the-trashcan-competition. She would be so good at that. Right, guys? (asks Joe and Nick but they left him alone then )
This is Macy Misa and you're watching Macy Misa's video podcast from the JONAS loft. I'm Macy Misa. I am so excited to bring you behind the scenes as JONAS prepare to launch their world tour-- the bigger-and-better-than-the-last-tour tour! You'll get to watch the tough decisions that the band has to make.
I think I'm going with the all cotton socks.
We'll get up close and personal with Nick.
Nick
Ow!
We'll get a sneak peek at the band's latest new super cool look...
and Kevin just being... Kevin. (dramatic music playing)
I love you. (hugs his guitar)
Of course you'll get to see lots of this. (rock music playing)
I'm Macy Misa and if you'd like to see more theen tell your parents that you're doing homework, lock the door and crank up the volume. Did I mention I'm Macy Misa? Because I am. JONAS has given me complete access to their creative process because I'll be like a fly on the wall. I'll observe and report but I'll never interfere. Never.
Nick
Guys, I think I've got the lineup. We open the show with "Time is on Our Side."
What, are you cracked? You have to open up with "Work It Out." Oh, Time is on our side." Love it. Open with it. Stop looking at me.
Nick, she has a good point. (Nick agrees with Macy and Joe then Nick rips the paper)
That handsome old man is dad of JONAS.
Hey, Stella. (sees that Kevin, Nick and Joe are studying) Oh, that's what I love to see. My boys are cracking the books. All right. Now don't forget, if you pass these exams tomorrow, then you will have to stay here and repeat the class.
We know and that means no tour.
Which means no amazing split.
Nick
Which saves us a trip to the emergency room in some foreign country.
Nick
"Love sick" is the perfect opener.
Sure, girls go crazy. They cry, they scream. They try and rip off our clothes. Especially you, Joe. (Stella walks by while carrying a sewing kit then she sits)
You know, I don't think you guys should do that song. I mean, the last thing rockstars need is a mob of excited screaming girls just rushing to the stage. You know that's dangerous. Especially you, Joe. Fine, whatever. Do the song.
Dad, did they spell my name wrong on the tour jackets again?
Nick
You do look more like a Karen than a Kevin.
All right, look, I just got a call from the school. And it seems one of you boys failed your exam.
All right, you guys passed. Nick, you failed your geometry exam. You can't move to the next grade till you pass geometry. So you're just gonna have to take the class again. Look, I'm sure you're pass it next time, all right?
Nick
What about the tour?
Well, that's... I'm afraid we're gonna have to cancel the tour.
Nick
I can't believe I failed the test.
JKJoe and Kevin
I can't believe I passed. (Joe wants to give Kevin a high five but Kevin doesn't want it)
Nick
We have to cancel the world tour and it's all my fault
Nick
Is that all you've got?
Nick, it's okay. Who needs a world tour anyways? You know, London's nice, but it's not sunny. The desert's hot, but there's no rain.
Nick
Kevin, those are my lyrics. You trying to comfort me or set up your own music video?
I'm trying to comfort you by setting up my own music video. (snaps fingers) Hope you enjoy it. (ballad playing)
Jonas · 237 quotes
