Hey, guys, check it out. There's a new How well do you know JONAS quiz? in the new "Teenster"magazine. Let's see how well I know Joe. Yes, no, yes, no, Armadillo. Ah! Five out of five. I'm a real Joe-nut.
NickHey, your favorite snack is not cherry pudding.
Yeah, it's chocolate tacos. (romantic music plays) mmm. And your favorite color is not medium spring green.
Nick
It's electric indigo.
We need to straighten Teenster magazine out.
Nick
We should do that.
We need to write a letter. Uh, anybody have a pen? (He, Nick and Joe check their pockets.)
Nick
No.
Hold on. (Walks over to window and opens it. The sound of scream fans flood the place.) Excuse me girls, does anybody have a pen? INCOMING!
Wow! Our fans are the best.
Nick
And they’re freakishly accurate.
Oh! Look at her. Have you ever seen anyone so beautiful? Look at how she plays. Such passion!
Punch me in the arm so I know I’m not dreaming.
Nick
(Punches Joe in the arm very hard.)
(Grunts) Not dreaming cause that really hurt.
Unless you're dreaming that it really hurt. So that it would make it a "dream-hurt".
Nick
(Punches Kevin in the arm very hard.) Did that dream-hurt or regular-hurt?
(Mumbles) Not a dream-hurt.
Can I carry that for you?
(grunting) Have you ever considered a forklift? So, what's your name?
Angelina, like angel with an "ina" on the end.
Yeah. My mom calls me Annie-bug. My little sister calls me Annie bu-banny. But most people call me Angie. What's your name?
Joseph. Joe for short. My brothers call me danger. My mom calls me Joe-bear. But let's keep that between us because I don't want that leaking to the media.
The media? Oh! I know who you are. You're one of those brothers in that band that goes here.
Yup, JONAS me, Kevin and Nick. The guys staring right at us. (Joe points to Kevin and Nick then Angelina sees Joe's brothers so Kevin hides behind his locker and Nick waves at Angelina and she waves back) So do you want to grab something to eat sometime?
No thanks. I don't go out with rockstars.
Look, you're famous. You have a posse. You probably played to thousands of screaming fans.
Tens of thousands. Isn't that cool?
Not really. I just don't go out with rock star types.
But I'm a nice rock star type.
I have orchestra. (Bell rings and she leaves to her class)
So you're going out with cello girl.
No, she says because I'm a rock star, I must be some kind of jerk.
Nick
What? In my experience, girls like guys because they're rock stars.
Sometimes, I wonder if that's the only reason girls like me. Well, that and my boyish charm. (Kevin's teeth dings and Nick shakes his head)
Guys, this is serious. I think I like her.
Like really like her like her.?
Like really like her like her.
Kevin: Whoa.
Nick
Then we'll help you show the sweet, down to earth panda-loving guy you really are
I love koalas. (sighs) They're so emo, and they eat all that eucalyptus so their breath is so minty fresh!
Joe Unlike yours.
Kevin What? (Nick unwraps a peppermint candy for Kevin's smelly breath and Nick toss it in Kevin's mouth)
Nick
Trust me.
Nick
(Closes the book) Okay, if we see Angelina, we give Joe the signal.
What if the signal is we stand completely still?
Nick
What kind of signal is that?
The best kind because it's so subtle. No one will even know that it's happening.
Nick
Is that the signal? Is she coming? (He turns around if he sees Angelina then he looks at Kevin)
No, I am just demonstrating.
Nick
How am I supposed to know the difference between the signal and when you're just standing still.
True. Hmm. Okay, when I do this... is when I give the signal which is this.
Look, Amy from Boise writes, "Joe, even though we've never met, I know you're a very kind and generous person". And look she would know because she signs it xoxo-xoxo, heart, heart, smiley face.
Nick
Joe, I know you like Angelina, but she's just one girl, okay? Unless she has an identical twin, in which case she is mistaken and I apologize
And dude, it is time to move on!
I don't want to move on. I've never met a girl like her. She's passionate, talented and beautiful.
So who's passionate, talented and beautiful besides your mother? (chuckles) (whispers) She could hear everything through those holes
This girl at school, she thinks because I'm a rock star, I must be some kind of jerk.
Your mom and I worked very hard, so you wouldn't turn into some kind of rock star jerk. All right? If I do say so myself, I think we've done pretty well with all you boys.
It's just she won't come within a mile of me.
Tom: No, she won't come within a mile of the person who thinks you are, not who you are, because who you are, not the person she thinks who you are, is who thinks you really
You're not a jerk, all right? Just be yourself and she'll realize she's wrong, okay? Even if you do just the littlest thing, a woman will appreciate it. (loudly) Because women are perspective, sensitive and intelligent.
Nick
Dad, mom's at the park with Frankie.
Oh, yeah, that's right. (loudly) Nevermind.
Nick
What's the emergency?
This is not working. I joined orchestra and Angelina hates me even more for it.
I guess we're gonna have to talk you up in front of her, (loudly) tell her how awesome of a guy you are! I didn't do that right, did I?
Nick
No.
Excuse me, the only annoying noise, I allow in here is by the orchestra.
Nick
Cool, in that case sign us up. (Joe and Kevin look at him) Trust me.
Really? All three professional musicians want to to join my orchestra on the same day. Is this a joke or? Oh, I get it. I get it. I'm being punk'd right? Oh, I'll play along. What do you guys want to play?
Nick
Anything by Mozart would be nice.
Oh, if we could stay away from "Peter and the Wolf. Wolves scare me and I'm not so sure about that Peter either.
I meant which instruments?
Nick
Oh, yeah, okay.
Nick
Here try this one. Remember, it's a side with the strings on it.
Yeah, hey, um... you're in.
Everybody make room for Kevin. Come on everybody, slide down. Move.
Well, cello there. See what I did? I put "hello" and "cello" together. Joe's a really great guy.
How about you? What can you play?
Nick
What have you got?
Nick
This one goes out to Angelina in the strings section. My bro, he’s the kindest guy that I know, he likes to take things slow, he’s just a regular Joe.
Welcome to the orchestra.
Nick
Huh. Thank you. I'll be here all period.
All right. All right. Settle down, people. Settle down. As you know the school recital is coming up and our version of "The Blue Danube" sounds like cats in wet cement. Yes, I'm looking at you, violins. So if we could please just get through it once with no one hurting themselves. And... four years of dentistry school down the tubes.
Nick
30's your limit, bro. I'm cutting you off.
Don't count, man! That's not cool.
Joe is in crisis mode. I texted you over an hour ago. I needed you to bring the rainbow sprinkled donuts and the coffee flavored ice cream.
Stella: Texting texting-- That's all anybody ever talks or texts about! Don't you realize there are other ways of communicating with me? Try writing me a note for a change! Huh? Huh?
"Stop yelling at us." (laughing and gives the notepad back to Nick) I'm fine. Everything's fine. Sorry about the yelling. Ice cream and donuts, coming right up.
Nick
Stella, you do realize you do not have a cell phone in your hands, right?
I may not have a cell phone, but at least I have my sanity. Send. (she leaves and Nick sits on the stool across from Joe)
I only joined the orchestra so I could impress Angelina, but we just made things worse.
Nick
Joe, music is the one thing that you and Angelina both love. Show her how passionate you are and she'll come around.
How can I show her my passion for music with this? (picks up the triangle and plays it)
Nick
All right. Let's not be so quick to judge the triangle. In many ways you and the triangle are a lot alike.
Three-sided? Made of metal? Really annoying?
Nick
No, disrespected. Put down!
Nick
Right.
Yeah, totally! And he's made of metal?
Tonight's the big recital and I'm only in a semi-sweat. With any luck, we'll be able to fill a whole row in the auditorium.
Nick
Mr. Phelps, we've made a couple of adjustments to "The Blue Danube"
Whoa! A few adjustments to "The Blue Danube" on the night of the concert.
Nick
We were wondering if the orchestra could give it a try.
Oh, what the heck, they can't fire me. The principal's my mommy. Go ahead. Hand them out. Let's try it. It can't be worse than what we've got. Instruments, up here. Here we go. And...
I rock the triangle so hard. You're welcome.
Nick
Cello girl, 4:00
Your solo was amazing. Sorry I was kind of a snob there.
Do snobs eat chocolate tacos? We're gonna go grab some.
Chocolate tacos? They're my favorite!
They're not your favorite. They're my favorite.
Remember what Teenster magazine said?
Never mind. It hurts too much to care.
Nick
What's up, Macy?
It's--it's--the boys who shall not be named. J-J--J-J--J--
Nick
J--J
I can't take it anymore! Yes! Yes! Good. Texting Good! O.M.G.! Oh, I'm here, baby. Mama's here. I'll never leave you again.
You're texting! You're texting!
Yeah, I cracked, okay? You win! Just leave us alone. (she leaves)
I can talk. I can talk. JONAS. JONAS. JONAS. Joe of JONAS, can you sign my program from last night's performance?
Sure, why not? Does anybody have a pen? (he checks his pockets)
KJKevin, Joe and Nick
Run!
Nick
No! (He has a bad dream so he screams which makes Joe and Kevin wake up from their sleep and Joe is protecting himself with a guitar)
The monkeys! Aw! (Grunting) Hyah! (pulls up his eye mask just a little bit)
Nick
Guys, it's all me. Bad dream. (Kevin and Joe sigh)
Nick
Yeah.
Were we wearing underwear and birthday hats?
You were wearing that too?
Nick
Not this time. Everyone back to bed. (he tells Kevin and Joe to go back to sleep then he goes back to his bed)
Okay. (he walks to his bed) Oh, guys, can someone turn on the relaxation CD?
Sure. (he stands on his bed and he turns on a nature CD)
How am I supposed to fall asleep to that.
Nick's never had writer's block before. It's been three weeks and he hasn't written anything.
I know what we can do. We can introduce him to a girl, make him fall in love with that girl, make the girl break up with him. Broken heart, brand new song! Unless that would be totally wrong.
Yeah, that would be pretty wrong. (Kevin and Frankie are setting up the table)
(holds the guitar) Nick out. Frankie in.
Frankie, that's plan B. (Frankie walks away the guitar)
Well, if he doesn't come up with a song by the end of the day tomorrow, we can't get the album done on time.
(talking about Nick and his writer's block) What if he can't write anymore? What if he can't write another song for as long as he lives?
Nick
What if he can hear you?
Then that would be pretty embarrassing for all of us!
Nick
Don't worry, okay? I've got my song-writing shoes on.(He shines his shoes) I wore these babies when I wrote our first number-one hit and our second number-one hit.
Ooh, I am so sorry about that. I forgot I left that there.
Nick
What is this stuff?
Oh, it's quick-dry spackle. Now with "quicker quick dry". Mmm.
Um... I think we can help you, Nick. Just grab him. (Grunts) One, two, three! All the fun stuff happens to you.
So, Nick, you think you can write that song, today. Maybe? You could write about really anything. Doesn't have to be about relationships.
Nick
Look!
It could be about animals or trees or plants. (he walks to the table and Kevin walks to Nick)
Nick
Joe, I appreciate the concern, but would be really nice not to mention the new song at all.
You got it! (He pours Crunchy Cats into Nick's bowl and Nick is annoyed at Kevin) How about a little bit of new song. I mean, new song. Oh, um, you want more new song? How about some Crunchy Cats cereal with a brand-new-good-morning taste of some new song? (He walks away with his hand over his mouth)
Nick
Can you pass the milk?
Oh, sorry about that. Let me give you a towel.
Stella: Hey.
Nick
The song will be done when it's done. I'm sorry. It's just that everybody's been on my case all day.
Yeah, I know. I heard about your block.
Nick
Yeah, I got it off with a chisel. (he picks it up)
I meant your writer's block.
Nick
What if I really can't write again? What if it's over for me? Well, I'm 16, I had a good run.
It's not over. I mean, all artists have blocks. Besides, I brought something might help. Ooh! Taa-daa!(She takes out a jacket from her bag)
Nick
Wow.
You like it? Embroidered all by hand. Don't even ask me how long it took.
Nick
Okay.
11 hours! No bathroom breaks. And do you know why? Because I believe in you.
Nick
Thank you. That means a lot.
Well, come on, aren't you gonna try it on?
Nick
Yeah. (he tries on his jacket)
I mean, I don't know, I thought it might inspire you. (she gasps) I am amazing.
Nick
It's awesome. (Stella giggles)
Well, that's why I make the big bucks. (she picks up her bag) Mention that to your dad, because he pays me and I don't actually make the big bucks. (then she leaves)
Nick
Oh no! I'm coming apart the seams.(he runs out of the classroom to find Stella in the hallway and he sees her walking up the stairs but she doesn't hear him yelling for her)
Nick
Stella! (the elevator dings so Nick enters it and his guitar's neck breaks as the elevator closes and the other half of the lands on the other side of the elevator then he and Amy are shocked)
Nick
I can't believe I broke Lucille Jr's. neck.
Um, you know Nick, I'm always telling my friend Jules how cute I think you are, which I do. And she's always just like, "Amy ask him out". So I am. How about we get something to eat or something after school?
Nick
I would love to. Um, but I'm kind of busy today.
Oh, that's what I figured. You probably have girls asking you out every five minutes.
Nick
If I didn't have to write a song--
You don't have to make up some lame excuse, I can handle just a plain no. (she leaves the elevator)
Nick
But it-- (he walks out of the elevator but he turns around to take his jacket and one of sleeve is torn by it but he gasps as Stella realized that the jacket is ripped)
Nick
Stella, I am so sorry. The jacket got caught on a nail and the sleeve got stuck in the elevator. I know you can fix it, though. (he gives the jacket back to her)
Sure. (she rips the sleeves of Nick's shirt which he notices and she takes the jacket from him then she storms off angrily)
Nick
So we're good?
It's so nice in here. Oh, the sunshine and the birds singing. Not that I'm thinking of songs or-- or anything.
Nick, please tell me you got something. Please please please. (he and Kevin walk closer to Nick but he doesn't want to be bothered)
Nick
Guys, I'm trying to write here. (A bird pooped on the guitar)
That's supposed to be very lucky.
Nick
How am I supposed to wash this off?
Jonas · 237 quotes
