Wiley the Sheep quotes from Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks

Wiley

Ah, that magic growth stuff really works. It makes anything grow! Of course, there are a few side effects. [the fertilizer has grown Wiley to a giant size] But don't get me wrong. I can live with it.

Piggley

He's about the size of a leprechaun. With a tail.

Dannan

And he has whiskers.

Piggley

And... huge flappy ears.

Dannan

And little beady eyes. [points to Wiley] Like him!

Wiley

Me?

Dannan

And a snout like you wouldn't believe.

Piggley

And broad shoulders!

Dannan

And teeny-tiny little feet.

Wiley

Delicate. Not tiny. Delicate.

Wiley

I can't stand it anymore! "Baa, baa"! That's all you ever say!

What do you expect? They're sheep.

Wiley

Yeah, that's true, but-- Hey, whoa, you talked! You opened your mouth and real words came out!

Boy, nothing gets by you, does it?

Wiley

Finally, someone to talk to! This is great! We can discuss poetry, and music, macramé! We can have an intelle-cellec-cellec-ellectual exchange!

Do you mind? You're-- You're standing on my lunch.

Wiley

Oh, I'm sorry.

So, what do you do for fun around here?

Wiley

We graze. Then we walk. Sometimes we mosey. Then we graze again. Walk, graze, walk, graze, walk--

Okay, okay, got it. [watches the flock] Not exactly overachievers, are they?

Wiley

[offended] Hey, this is my flock you're talking about. They may not be the smartest.

Wiley

Or the second smartest.

Wiley

[embarrassed] Or the third.

[sighs with annoyance] Is this gonna go on long?

Wiley

Usually an hour and a half.

I think it's time for some changes around here.

[being pampered by three lady sheep] So then I said, "What do you think I'm made of, wool?"

Wiley

Agnes! Lucille! Mary-Lou! What are you doing?! Whoa, look at the shine on those hooves!

Dazzling, aren't they? Uh, you missed a spot.

Wiley

Look, pal, all you've done since you've got here is insult me and my flock. And now if I didn't know better, I'd say you're trying to take over as head sheep.

He's cute, but a little slow.

Wiley

That's it! We are going to settle this the way they do in Brooklyn!

You mean...?

Wiley

You got it! A dance-off! Hit it! [dances]

Not bad, but you're looking at a three-time golden hooves champion.

Well, flock, which one of us has the magic feet?

Hoo... Tough audience.

Wiley

This farm's not big enough for the two of us.

You are right, fuzzy, so there's only one thing left to do. A vote. Okay, flock. It's up to you. Who will it be? A multi-talented, curly-wooled sheep about town such as myself... or him?

Well, I... I have to hand it to you, Wiley. You are the leader of one loyal flock.

Wiley

I am? [the other sheep nod]

And you're a pretty good dancer, too. [dons his top hat] Maybe we'll meet up again when I've brushed up a bit. [dances and leaves whistling]

Wiley

Uh, so, sweetheart, what did you think of my dancing? Be honest. [the sheep whispers to Wiley] Not that honest. [laughs] You sweet-talker.