Jackie Chan Adventures · Season 3
Hey, Jackie.
Jade, you should be asleep.
So should you. And I know just the thing to help you on one. First we strap on rollerblades instead of trash goal points, then we slip through the talismans out of the vault...
Just because I can sleep, doesn't mean you don't have to.
Aw.....
Are we there yet?
Patience Jade. We will not know where "there" is, until Uncle's locator spell leads us to the animal we seek.
[sitting in the back of the car, producing a Chi spell] The tiger who has inherited the Talisman power of Yin and Yang.
Well make it hurry, because it reeks something fierce in here!
Are you sure the spell is accurate, Uncle? Nevada is not exactly known as tiger country.
Never mock the sock. It is our only chance of finding the tiger before the forces of darkness do.
Well betcha Daolon Wong doesn't have to spend all day cooped up in a smelly car.
[in a car, with Daolon Wong producing a Chi spell while the Dark Enforcers drive]
Pee-ew! Are we there yet?!
So, Big-D, really appreciate you turning us into superpowered Dark Chi dudes and all, but we gotta talk image. I'm not digging the whole orange vibe, and hey, these outfits kinda scream "boy band".
Nah, we look like KISS!
We look like circus freaks.
[on phone] Room service? Yes, please send up one bottle of eel saliva, three jars of powdered duck feet, and a pair of moose antlers.
[after Jade interferes with the Tiger's Yin and Yang power, which was separating Jackie]
Jackie, are you okay?
[reveals Jackie's separation was not complete, resulting in Jackie having two heads]
Argh... yeah.
Thank you for asking.
Bwah!
What? [they notice each other] Ah!
Hey, I have a zit! Get off of my body, or I'll pop you! [tries pushing his light side off]
I do not wish to argue, but this is my body too!
I do not see the tiger. Maybe we should split up.
[long pause]
So I got all the brains...
Yo, D-Man. Beam us up.
[Uncle's phone rings]
Room service? I have been waiting for-
Uncle, thank goodness you're-
Jackie! How can you leave Uncle at a shabby hotel with no eel saliva?!
Pull your tongue out of your mouth and wring out the spit!
[gasp] You call Uncle an eel?!
Uncle, I'm sorry!
No I'm not.
Yes I am.
No I'm not.
Yes I am.
Jackie, why do you babble like a crazy person?!
Because I have two heads!
[coming upon a field of cactus] Whoa, acupuncture city.
Real acupuncture is a good thing, Jade. It stimulates the energy channels, and rids the body of- [the Dark Enforcers suddenly appear]
Hola, Señor Chan.
Bad Chi...
[after Quetzalcoatl shoots a fire attack at El Toro]
The statue can shoot fire from his hands?
God of the sun, duh!
[while Daolon Wong expresses frustration with the Dark Enforcers failures]
Chan had a masked crime fighter with him, your worship!
The sun was in our eyes!
We need bigger weapons!
Excuses, excuses! I see that if I wish this task accomplished, I must do it myself!
That's cool. We'll wait here, rest up, order some Chi pizza...
Uh, perhaps Quetzalcoatl would not be so angry if you prove to him you are not... you know. [pointing to the mask]
El Toro Fuerte never removes his mask!
Unhand the princess, or face my wrath!
Uh, maybe you should make an exception.
[as Quetzalcoatl flies after them]
The statue can fly too?!
God of the sky, duh!
[on phone] Uncle? Now is not a good time!
What is more important than talking to Uncle?
I am in a speeding mining cart fleeing a reanimated Mayan statue trying to seize Jade so he can fly her into the sun!
Why did you not say so? It seems you have found the rat.
[after Quetzalcoatl traps them in a cage of vines]
The statue can grow unbreakable vines?
God of-
I know, agriculture. Duh!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
