Major Lilywhite quotes from IZombie

Liv Moore

That's it. Kissing moratorium until we're sure I just didn't turn you into a zombie.

Major Lilywhite

So we're going the Pretty Woman no-kissing-on-the-mouth route.

Liv Moore

Oh, my god. Horny boys are the worst. When all your blood returns to the normal locations in your body, you're gonna care whether that make-out session has left you living or living dead.

Liv Moore

Unless there's a cure, we have no future as a couple.

Major Lilywhite

You sure about that?

Liv Moore

Well, think about it. You've always wanted kids. That could never happen. No sex. Clearly, not ready to write that off.

Major Lilywhite

I seem to recall a couple items on the menu that don't involve exchanging fluids.

Liv Moore

I could be holding your arm, walking down an icy sidewalk. I slip, I reach out for you, I scratch you, instant zombie.

Major Lilywhite

[leans to Liv] So far, to me it sounds like all of our problems could be solved with condoms and rock salt.

Good news is you're not dead. Bad news is you have to come up with some other excuse for not responding to my text.

Major Lilywhite

Yeah, well, I didn't get it until this morning. But it did make my heart flutter. 'U, up?' You stole my heart in those three characters.

Whatever. You have to earn me spelling words out in their entirety.

Liv Moore

We can watch Hoosiers.

Major Lilywhite

After all these years? You've always refused before.

Liv Moore

[Liv smiles] Well, back then, I was worried that seeing you cry over fictional sports would adversely affect my sexual desire for you. But that's not an issue anymore, friend.

Major Lilywhite

Liv, what are we doing here?

Liv Moore

You mean, with this ragtag group of disadvantaged kids who tragically lost their coach a few days ago? Oh, did I forget to mention they'd be here?

So, how many zombies removals can I put you down for this week?

Major Lilywhite

I don't know. How many people are you going to murder this week?

Not people. Zombies. How about we shoot for two. Go big or go home, I say.

Liv Moore

Do you know what I keep asking myself?

Major Lilywhite

Why? Why didn't the Seahawks just give the ball to Marshawn?

Liv Moore

How stupid we must be?

Liv Moore

I'm going to remind you something, son. Something you already know. The world ain't all Dilly Bars and debutante balls. The world throws wicked punches. It wants to see who goes down easy. Some people stay down on the mat. Not you, though. You were an undersized walk-on free safety at U-Dub. Three years later you were a starter. It takes a tough, get-back-off-the-mat son-of-a-bitch to do that. But that ain't what impressed me. I fell in love with the guy who could've cashed in on his looks, his connections, his notoriety. But instead, he said, I've been blessed, and I want to give back. I'm going to be a social worker. 'I'm going to be the guy who gets others back up.' I know you've taken some haymakers lately. I know that this time it's harder to get back up than it's ever been. But you're Major mother-flippen Lilywhite, and you don't quit.

Major Lilywhite

[Major says with a smile] God, you're so weird.

Major Lilywhite

Liv, I don't want to do this anymore.

Liv Moore

Do what?

Major Lilywhite

Pretend I'm okay just being your friend. I want more. I want us to be together again.

Liv Moore

Major, nothing has changed. I still...

Major Lilywhite

I know all the risks, and the reasons it can't work. But I don't care. I'm a better man with you in my life. Can we give it another shot?

Major Lilywhite

[Major wakes up to an eggs and bacon breakfast in the kitchen] Whoa! Eggs! Mmm. Mmm-mm. [Major sits at the table and speaks to the bacon] What's shakin' bacon?

Peyton Charles

[as Ravi and Peyton watch] Body Snatchers?

Peyton Charles

(as Liv and Major kiss) Wait, wait, wait, is this happening?

Liv Moore

It's happening.

Peyton Charles

About damn time.

Ravi Chakrabarti

But it won't always be this nauseating, right?

Major Lilywhite

Suffer, bitch.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Are you decent?

Liv Moore

[under the blankets together] Decent enough.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Tell me you haven't had sex yet.

Major Lilywhite

Seems like a question you could've asked outside the door.

Major Lilywhite

[speaking to Liv behind his smile] Oh, no. Abort. Just turn around.

Liv Moore

[speaking to Major behind her smile] I'm already waving, that would be incredibly weird. Nut up. [Liv finally talks to Clive] Hey, you. Didn't know you existed outside the station. I thought you were just put back in your Detective Clive box. Pull his string and he says, 'Miss Moore, please.'

Clive Babineaux

Liv, Major, this is Miss Bozzio from the FBI.

Dale Bozzio

Dale. It's nice to get a name. In my head you've been, umm, "Girl from the morgue who somehow makes Goth work."

Major Lilywhite

Oh, that is her native American name. Hi, I'm Barely Employed Arm Candy. No, I'm Major.

Dale Bozzio

(smiles) You certainly are.

Liv Moore

[Liv and Major lay in bed together after making out] Phew! That was pretty good.

Major Lilywhite

Yeah.

Liv Moore

It was almost as good as sex. Like the difference between a turkey burger and a hamburger.