Liv Moore quotes from IZombie

I'm normally not that much of a cook, but I seemed to have picked up a few things from my Aunt Edna. Guess what I had for lunch yesterday?

Liv Moore

I'm thinking Aunt Edna.

That woman practically raised me! She thought I had potential! So, yesterday, she slices her head open on the freezer door and asks me to bandage it. And I'm there, with the bandage. And there's blood. And I'm just so hungry. I couldn't stop myself.

Liv Moore

Funny. I've never eaten anyone I didn't want to eat.

Blaine DeBeers

What a waste. All this sound and fury. And for what? Nothing. I've got friends in high places. Tomorrow's headline, 'Crackpot shoots up butcher shop'. Kill my crew, I'll make more. Kill my customers, I'll make more. You cost me money. I'll make -

Liv Moore

Make more now, bitch.

Your brother has-has lost a lot of blood, and he's going to need more in order to survive. Unfortunately, he's O-negative, and we don't have any.

Liv is O-negative. Remember? That time you sliced open your head on that nail. Evan was a match for you. Oh, thank God you had your phone on.

We don't have much time. Can you come with me, Miss Moore?

Liv? Did you hear him? There's more. Liv. Liv. Go with the doctor!

Liv Moore

No.

Liv Moore

Oh, the humanity.

Blaine DeBeers

[Blaine chuckles] You see anything you like? [surrounded by coffins] It's so rare the dead get to choose. I got one with a breakaway lid that's a real-time saver for today's zombie looking to make that classic-hand-shooting-up-through-the-dirt big entrance.

Blaine DeBeers

I'm curious. Why? Why are you still suiting up for Team Z? The uniform sucks. Morale is, let's be honest, consistently low. Don't tell me you've actually developed a taste for brains. [Liv remains silent] Hold the phone! You dig it. You get off on being a hero, don't you? [Blaine begins imitating actor, Jimmy Stewart] Oh, would you... Would you look at that. That's a... That's a crime-solving zombie. Roger, get in here! Why, she's a credit to her species. Why can't they all be like her?

Liv Moore

[Blaine laughs] It's not a choice.

Blaine DeBeers

Why would I want to help? I'm human. I got a thriving business. I just learned I've been pre-approved for a Best Buy card. I've gone legit. Put my criminal ways behind me.

Liv Moore

We're not sure if your cure is permanent. The first batch killed the test rat inside of two days.

Blaine DeBeers

And which batch did you shoot me up with?

Liv Moore

[Liv smiles] The second.

Clive Babineaux

I'm really gonna need a hand with this, so let me know when things get extrasensory.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Clive walks off as Ravi whispers to Liv] Well, I hope you like Jäger bombs and homoerotic subtext.

Clive Babineaux

[Clive calls Liv] Can you meet me upstairs?

Liv Moore

Yes.

Ravi Chakrabarti

[Liv turns, burps, and walks forward] And so it begins...

Ravi Chakrabarti

I know you can't fully control your actions when you're on a brain, but I really need you to try and rein in the bro. We would be in serious trouble if someone came in and saw how you arranged the medical skeletons. And this, this is unacceptable. What if someone came in to identify their loved one and the medical examiner had "fart" written on his forehead? It isn't funny.

Liv Moore

It's pretty funny.

Ravi Chakrabarti

It really isn't.

Liv Moore

It kinda is.

Ravi Chakrabarti

I can assure you it isn't funny.

Liv Moore

I’m on frat boy brains at the moment, and everything’s getting filtered through the bro-zone layer.

Major Lilywhite

[Major chuckles] I'm on frat boy brains. 'No big whoop.' Just like you're doing a cleanse. Eating dead people brains.

Liv Moore

It's just a fact of my life right now. Look past it, please. I wanna catch up.

Major Lilywhite

Sorry, bro. No can do.

Liv Moore

Hey, later-later, like Friday, I was thinking we could all grab a drink after work, maybe get a bite to eat? I mean, if you guys are free. It's just been a while since we got together.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Friday's tricky, yeah. I've been seeing Stephanie. You know, the girl I met at the club. Been seeing a lot of her, actually. She's trying to get Friday night off work so she can fix me a home-cooked meal. Turns out, right, she's got this whole Martha Stewart side to her. Which, combined with her raw honesty and lack of intellectual pretense is giving me a sense of emotional intimacy I've not felt in a long time, you know?

Clive Babineaux

Can't. Busy. (leaves)

Ravi Chakrabarti

God, I thought he'd never shut up.

Liv Moore

I am literally going through hell. Do you even care?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Okay, you've literally forgotten the meaning of the word "Literally."

Liv Moore

It's not my fault! All my friends are cold-hearted bitches, and that includes the men. Why is everyone abandoning me? Why? [Liv throws her bag down and sits on the couch] I'm sorry. I just really need a pinot and some salty chocolate right now.

Liv Moore

Good, you're here. I just had to see what you think of these bad girls. If they don't make you want to cross-dress, I don't know what will.

Clive Babineaux

You ever hear of casual Friday?

Liv Moore

You ever hear of casual elegance? What's wrong, were your bib overalls in your wash tub?

Ravi Chakrabarti

I'm confused. Is this a Seattle morgue or a Milan catwalk?

Liv Moore

You like? It's my roommate's. I literally had nothing to wear until she gave me a free pass to raid her closet. I thought this was a good look for work, because I wear this dress like someone's paying me to.

Ravi Chakrabarti

Oh, as I do with this.

Ravi Chakrabarti

What? What's with the face?

Liv Moore

[nervously] I'm sweating like a ten dollar whore on nickel-night. What if my voice cracks? What if, in the middle of my song, some redneck shouts out, 'Show us your hooters!' and I go into full-on zombie mode?

Ravi Chakrabarti

Oh, 'if, if, if.' If a bullfrog had wings it wouldn't bump its bum when it jumps.

Liv Moore

From the moment that I met you I knew that we were meant to be together. I was sure of it. It was like fate. But that was before I witnessed a mass murder. Before I'd eaten fresh brain, before I'd lied to you, or let you put yourself in a mental hospital. It was before I watched you die. And it was before all of this cruelty was directed back at me. Now, I don't think space can fix what's wrong with us. We're a dream that's dead. I doubt that I will ever stop loving you, but it's over now. I gotta let you go. Completely. Forever.

Major Lilywhite

[Without any emotion, Major replies] Perfect. Uh, thanks for stopping by.