Invader Zim Season 2 quotes

[to Dib] Hey! This is ham! You can't pay for cookies with ham!

Dib

Why was there ham in my pocket?

Prof. Membrane

[on a video monitor] Kids, I'm glad we could have this dinnertime recording together. Now, Gaz, if you could just put that can of beans in the proton oven! Be sure to take them out of the can or the explosion will destroy all human life!

Gaz

Dib!

Dib

Sorry, Gaz! Just doing a few adjustments on Tak's ship!

Gaz

That didn't wipe out all life as we know it?!? You lied to me, Dad!

Gaz

Hey, you're getting pieces of wall in the food!

GIR

I LIKE CORN! I do.

Just how many more minutes will she have to suffer before rescue crews can free her? Huh?!

Dib

Why don't they just pull her out?

She's lodged in real good. I heard her foot's poking out over in China. Plus, she screams real scary whenever anybody comes near her.

Dib

Look at her. She's just smiling and waving. She just loves the attention. [suddenly realizes something] Wait a minute. [visions himself ramming through the crowd toward Zim's house and barges in, then drags him outside, exposing him without his human disguise, and Gir, in front of everybody and the whole world] Attention! (That's it!) If I can get up there, I can expose him on national TV!

I have shown you the horrors of war...the devastation of famine...pictures of my birth! But I don't think you comprehend what awaits you in adult life. To better prepare you for the inevitable character building horrors, we will now play bludgeon-ball! It's fun!

Whoa,check out his eyeball

Dib

The eyeball of and alien invader!

Zim

LIES!LIES!Have you not heard of pinkeye?!? It is a normal human illness.

Zita

Yeah,Pinky got it really bad last week.

Dib

[surprised] You...you believe me? Wait a minute, you were in some hideous government experiment where they hit you in the head with car doors right?

[looking at a picture of himself tied up in an alligator's mouth] Ha ha, almost, but no! I really do believe you!

Dwicky! Do you really believe in aliens?!?

[laughs] Not anymore! All the child-like wonder was ripped from my heart the day my foot got stuck in an escalator and aliens didn't come rescue me! No, I'll just humor Dib until he tells me what the real problem is.

[spazzes out] AGH! That's...psycho-technical talk!! [falls to the floor]

Indeed it is.

Dib

Zim! We meet again!

Zim

...I just saw you three hours ago.

A real space ship. Space ship! And you actually fly through the stars seeing all the universe?

Well, flying through the stars would be pretty STUPID, man! But yeah, we fly around. You want to come along?

Wow! Do I?!?

Zim

Now do you understand my latest and most brilliant plan for earth conquest, GIR?

GIR

I'm gonna eat that fish.

Zim

No, GIR. The fish is part of the plan.

Do not be alarmed. The student president has experienced a failure in spirit. A new election will be held immediately. Volunteers? Volunteer?

Zim

Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Pick Zim! Zim is me! Zim is me! Zim shall rule! Pick Zim! Zim! Me! I am Zim!

Zim. Analysis: moron. Suitable. Candidate 2 needed. Volunteers?

Dib

But Zim's criminally insane! That's not good!

Dib. Analysis: annoying.

Zim

Egggh,lies

Ms. Bitters

The candidates will now speak. And then be quiet! And then I go away from you all.

Zim

As president, I will assure that all mankind has its legs sawed off!

Zim

[nervously] And, uh, replaced with legs of pure gold!

Zim

Yes! And I will grant you the power to fire lasers from your heads!

I like gold!

I like my head!

Ms. Bitters

Candidate 2, be quick! I can only survive so long in the sun.