PUPPY!! [licks the window]
No, GIR! You can eat later! [pulls GIR away from the window]
S2 E3Mortos Der Soulstealer
Zim! I don't know what your plan is, but I'm going to stop you!
I am infecting the city with genetically mutated vermin, but you'll never know!
You just told me.
... YOU'RE LYING!!!!
[While Dib watches the scene using a spy camera installed into Zim's house]
Guess who made waffles!
I'm not going to eat-
[screams]
Enough! I shall try some already! [takes a bite] Well, they don't seem to be making me sick. You know, I think this will be a good way to build a tolerance to the human's filthy food! Okay, GIR. I will try-
Hehehehehehe! [runs to get more waffles]
And as soon as I'm done with these waffles, I will discuss my evil plan!
[Zim is reading a newspaper while he is being watched by Dib]
Hey look, they're gonna start making artificial beavers.
He's after our beaver technology! Is this his next evil plan?
Well, time to work on my next evil plan...
Talk about perfect timing!
GGreg
Thanks for calling the FBI, my name is Greg, how may I help you?
I have an emergency! There's a kid who's-
GGreg
[laughing] Hey, wait. You're... Dib, right? Did you ever get that ninja ghost out of your toilet?
Yes, no thanks to you!
Hey, do you know who came by today?
Hm?
That ugly neighbor lady. She was wearing this horrible...
[An evil looking squid pokes his head into the kitchen. Zim looks and it quickly leaves]
Huh?
[The squid leaps onto Zim's head and thrashes him about]
Oh mighty dung! The giant flesh-eating demon squid has escaped!
Hey. These aren't bad. What's in 'em?
There's waffle in 'em!
[screaming] YOU'RE LYING!!!!!
Gir, your waffles have sickened me! Fetch me the bucket!
*Squeals*
NOOOOO! The plan! *shakes computer* WHAT WAS THE PLAN?!
*Makes retching sound as Dib looks sick*
Um, ancient traveler? Are you Mortos Der Soulstealer?
Huh? YES! I AM MORTOS DER SOULSTEALER! Every thousand years when Ta'un aligns with Chakunga, I escape from the place beneath the Overworld to walk among mortals for one day. Important plot point this is. Men hide behind furniture. Women spit loogies of terror. Animals void their bowels at the sight OF MORTOS DER SOULSTEALSER! [laughs maniacally until he starts coughing.]
[wipes away drool that landed on him] Okay, great!
Hold it! [takes out pamphlet] According to the ancient pamphlet, you must grant at least one mortal a wish before you can return to the spooky realm.
[snatches up pamphlet] Pamphlet stupid! [drops pamphlet on the ground, then stomps on it with his foot, then starts pounding it with his fist.] Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! [Stops pounding and then gets up again] Okay, but power's very weak from thousand year in place beneath the Overworld.
Well, how do we fix that?
[scene cuts to them later at a MacMeatey's]
Two quarter porkeys with cheese, one McGrease, no cheese, Meaty McMeatMeatMeat with cheese, and an Appely Pie with meat. [The food is served to Mortos, then Mortos scarfs it down.]
Mortos, is this really how you recharge your unearthly powers?
YES! SINCE BEFORE TIME BEGAAAAAAAAANNNNN! [Cashier starts gesturing, asking for money.] Mortos not carry cash.
Oh. [reaches into his pocket] Okay.
You ditched me!
Yes. Mortos ditch you. And Mortos sorry. But many years ago, Mortos trust little boy like you. Little boy named Floochie. Who sang songs to Mortos. That little boy break Mortos' heart... Now, dark energy of universe Mortos' only friend...
I'm sorry.
And Darlene here...
DDarlene
Hi!
Guh! I can't believe I almost bought that sob story! Mortos, you're no mighty master of spooky powers like the pamphlet said! You're just a... a big mooch!
You call Mortos mooch?
Yes, a mooch!
MOOCH!
That's right!
Mooch, mooch, mooch, mooch, mooch, MOOCH! You want see power? I show you power!
S2 E4The Girl Who Cried Gnome
The Dib- the Dib! I don't care how delicious he is, he's evil! They'll destroy the base! There's only one thing to do!
You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits?
No, GIR. Never. I never want you to mention biscuits ever again.
[GIR gets a shocked expression]
[running around the house and Zim's base] We're on TV! We're on TV! We're on TV!
ZSZim's Computer
There's someone at the door.
Oh, what is it? I have not the patience for- AAAAAH! Girl with cookies! Girl with cookies!
MMoofy
Wanna buy some chocolate star COOKIES?!? MISTER?!? HUH?!?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.