Invader Zim quotes

Dib

NO, GAZ! Those are the mashed potatoes! Get them away from my eyes! Remember what happened to Zita?! [All the students look at Zita, with an eye plaster on her right eye] I was only trying to help you out, Gaz!

Gaz

You're hiding something! What is it?!

Dib

Me? Hiding? I was only trying to do something nice for my sister! No! Not my eyes! Think of all the food you'll never eat again if you destroy me now! [Gaz lowers the mashed potatoes with an annoyed growl and hurls them away as she walks off; Zita screams in pain off-screen] ZITA!!!

Dib

[groaning and holding back vomit; off-screen] I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry!

Zim

I sure like TV! And wearing pants!

He likes wearing pants, Dib! Aliens don't like wearing pants!

Zim

Fool! My fellow hideous inferior human pig smellies are insulted by this constant slander!

Break's over, Zim! Go man the register!

Zim

Whuh?

The register! Gashloog is taking his break! Now move it!!

Zim

Gashloog gets to take a break without exploding! Why not me?

Because I hired him! You're here as punishment for almost annihilating our civilization!

Zim

Am I the only one who is impressed by that?

GIR

...and then my master flew to the moon on a rocket of flamin' cheese! I like cheese!

Dib

Can I ask you something? What are your species' main weaknesses? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Tallest Purple

Who's that large-headed kid?

I don't know, but his head is large.

Dib

[clears throat] Excuse me, alien scum? Gimme your planet's coordinates!

Hey little Sizzly. You look sadder than me.

Zim

It's this job, I hate it! And I can't leave or the security system will make me explode.

He gonna 'splode, momma!

Zim

That horrible child.

Zim

[to alien] But I need to get back to my mission! My precious MISSION! What about them, huh? Gimme some of those! [snatches alien's fries]

Zim

So, I say, "You want some of this?" And she says, she says, right back at me, she says-

Who are you, and why are you talking to me?

Zim

Sizzlor!

WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!?

Zim

My apologies, My FRYLORD, but I have to return to my mission before it's too late. The Foodening is only a week away!

NEVER! Now put on this Happy Shloogorg costume and fill the customers with joy! [throws Zim a mascot costume]

Zim

But it's filled with white hot grease.

Makes you dance better.

Zim

Home! A sweet victory for Zim! It is good to be back, good to be Zim! Huh?! [Zim notices Dib and GIR dancing in the living room. Dib holds a camera. The Tallest watch from the transmission screen that replaces the green monkey picture. Dib looks into the camera.] Hey! Get out of my house! [Dib drops the camera.] Get out!

Dib

Hey! Hey! [continuous]

Zim

Get out of the house of Zim! This is my house, get out! Get-

And in outer space, I'm gonna collect rocks from Mars, and float in the space shuttle, and I'll make friends with the space monkey!

Ms. Bitters

[looks at Zim giggling after she burns up Melvin's drawing] Do you find something amusing, Zim?

Zim

Yes. Yes, I do. [lays his head on his desk, pointing] Look at this space suit!

Ms. Bitters

[sits back in her desk] Now, does anyone have any questions? [Dib raises his hand] Does anyone have any questions that don't have anything to do with lunatic ideas about Zim being an alien? [Dib puts his hand down]

Dib

Look at him, Gaz! He doesn't like the cafeteria food.

Gaz

I don't like it either. [mimicking while waving her hands behind her head] I must be an alien too, huh, Dib? [drinks her juice box]

Dib

[walks up to Zim] What's the matter? Scared of beans, space boy?

Zim

Nonsense! I love beans. I love them…

Dib

[hands Zim a spoon] Oh, just one more then? What are you scared of?

Zim

Scared? Ridiculous. Witness my bean-chewing! [takes a spoonful of beans and reluctantly eats them, as Dib watches on with much anticipation] That's good eat- [retchs and convulses, ultimately falling to the ground] Yummy.

Dib

[looks over table and sees Zim on the floor breathing hard, his head engorged with glowing fluid and pulsing] Look everyone! His head! That is so not normal! I was right all along, he is an alien! He’s Not Just A Alien, A BIIIG Brain! You never believed me, but now, I have proof! [Points to trail of glowing green goo leading out the door]

You're crazy!

Dib

I almost had him, Gaz. I was closer than ever. It's as if dark forces are opposing me.

Gaz

[playing her Game Slave] Oh, no! Dark forces! Go away, Dib.

Dib

I should probably expect more tricks like that from him. No doubt he's been well trained.

Dib

[on monitor] There, in front of everyone, I'll launch some food into Zim's filthy mouth and the whole school will see what Zim really is.

Zim

[laughs] The human has lost the element of surprise thanks to the ingenious listening device I placed on him.