(slurping)
SOSoldier on TV
Aah!My intestine!
Tee-He He He He He-e!
(phone rings)
S1 E14Door to Door
Hey, Man. It's Been 4 weeks since you rented Intestines of War. It's 20 Days overdue. Hello? Hell-lo?!?
Who is it?(Hangs up)
[in a mocking voice] I gunna watch it again.
[long pause]
...I GUNNA WATCH IT AGAIN!!!
This is the hundredth time, GIR. You have to stop watching this thing or... OH, WHAT IS THAT? [points to TV]A warning? Oh no! Oh no! FBI? Who is this FBI? Why are they trying to warn us about?
SHHH!
(screaming)
(phone rings)
Return that movie!
GGIR
You got any them taquitos?(hangs up)
Computer! Give me all the information you have on the FBI.
CComputer
The FBI is a government law enforcement agency.
Continue.
CComputer
Insufficient data.
Insufficient data! Can't you just make an educated guess?
CComputer
Okaaaaaay...uh...founded in 1492 by, uh...demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency designed to...uh, I dunno, fight...aliens?
I knew it! This is baaaad! This is so baaaad!
GIR! That movie is some kind of government spying tool! Quickly! Eat it!
[The phone rings.]
Hello?(with voice a little deep)Hello?(with voice getting deep)Hello?[with his voice synthetically deeper]Good,OK.Hello,How I may help you today?
I'm through playin' around! You better return that video or else! This is your final warning!
I'm sorry, I do not know what you are talking about. I am normal.
If that thing isn't in the drop-off box by the time we open tomorrow, you're gonna paaaaaayyyyy... late fees.
DDoot
Ooh!I wanna rent this one!
Why?!? So you can keep it for weeks and weeks and not return it? What about all the other people that wanna watch it?!? You ever think about them? Huh? HUH?!?
[Doot begins to cry]
SSSgt. Shriver
He caught me sleeping during my shift. When you break the rules, Rankle sends you here. Every couple a days, he takes someone away. They never come back. Some say he just lets 'em go. Me? I say he takes them and turn 'em into horrible zombie soldiers in that new zombie lab they just put in out back.
SRSlab Rankle
Oh, it's not that simple my friend... Slab Rankle is not that easy to pull it over in defeat! Because Slab...and Rankle and, and Slab and... TIME FOR ZOMBIES!
This horrible tragedy can be prevented. If, and only if! You surrender your money to ME! AND BUY MY CANDY!
FMFlaming Mutant
Pweeesee? For the childwen.
I am here, Dib worm, and I have sold over 1.2 million revolting candy units! [He drops his fistful of money and walks over to Ms. Bitters, who is holding a package. She hides it behind her back.] I am prepared to receive the power of the mystery prize! GIVE TO ZIM!
Well, this has never happened before. [She prepares to tear open the package.] Zim, your prize is... [She tears open the package. Zim grunts in anticipation and wriggles his fingers. Ms. Bitters examines a piece of paper that was inside the package.] Your prize is nothing. [Zim's eyes widen.] There is no mystery prize! they just made it up to make kids work harder for no money.
Eh?
As a consolation, here's some tuna. [She pulls a can of tuna out of the package and hands it to Zim. Zim lifts the can of tuna into the air.]
Curse you, Poop Dawg! CURSE YOU!
[A shockwave of energy shoots from the can of tuna and through the class. It causes Brian, Dib, Sara, Aki, Rob, Melvin, Zita, and Mathew P. Mathers III's desks to tip over. It also causes Chunk to shoot upward into the ceiling and Tae's desk to set on fire. Cut to Poop Dawg in his gangsta specter of defeat robes. He laughs evilly and then coughs.]
S1 E15Battle of the Planets
Welcome planetary conversion team! Welcome to Blorch, the latest addition to the Irken Empire, and most importantly, the first planet to fall victim to our latest effort at universal conquest, Operation Impending Doom II!
CMCrowd Member
Almighty Tallest rocks!
Now we erase the remaining organics on Blorch, paving the way for...I dunno, maybe a parking structure planet?
Yeah! Parking Structure Planet!
Truly I am amazing. How could they not cheer the very sight of my progress? Still, I am becoming impatient with my incredibly subtle infiltration of this planet, and am growing ever hungrier to be the destruction of the humans. Destruction is nice!
Get off my head, GIR.
[GIR crawls off of Zim's head]
I have a good feeling about this lead, I can almost taste the humans being destroyed, IT'S DELICIOUS! This Mars holds the key, I just know it! New words of praise will have to be invented just so they can p- GET OFF MY HEAD!
JJanitor
I believe you. I think I can help you.
What are you gonna do? Clean me?
HHologram
My people worked themselves into extinction making our planet a working vessel!
Why would you do that?
HHologram
Because it's cool.
*nods* Mmm-hmm.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.