HHost
Are you an alien?
[shouting] LIES! THIS FILTHY EARTH BOY LIES! I mean no.
S1 E13Mysterious Mysteries
[Title comes on that says dramatic reinactment]
I was out playing like any normal Earth larva when he came looking for trouble.
APActor playing Dib
Heyy new kid, give me your lunch moneys!
APActor playing Zim
[with British accent] But I need these monies to buy nutrients.
APActor playing Dib
Give me the moneys or i'll tell everyone you're an alien!
That's not how it happened!
HHost
Restrain him![hear Dib hollering in the backround then the reinactment continues]
I was the chubby lady, hidin' in the bushes.
Then a giant squirrel showed up.
GIR!!
HHost
[to Zim] Let her talk! Can't you see she's upset? [to GIR] Now, don't you mean, Dib showed up?
No! The squirrel showed up first. Then Dib showed up.
APActor playing Dib
[points to man in squirrel costume] AAGHHHH, what is that?
And then the squirrel ate Dib's greasy head. [man in squirrel costume proceeds to mutilate Actor Dib's head as the other actors back away terrified] And then the squirrel flew away! [man in squirrel costume gets picked up by cables] After that, he flew back to his home planet to fight all the bad guys. [costume rips and man falls on two actors in alien costumes]
HHost
...What does that have to do with anything?!?
Me 'n the squirrel are friends.
HHost
I've come to the conclusion that Dib is crazy. [to GIR] This one, definitely crazy. I feel sorry for the ugly green kid, but there's a good chance he's crazy too!
But not an alien?
HHost
Nope.
Okay.
HHost
Just crazy.
[pumps arms in the air in victory]
HHost
Nothing matters anymore! Mabey i'm crazy![Host starts acting insane then grabs the camera so that you can only see his face on-screen then does the same thing]
As we all know, every source of energy requires fuel. So, I got to thinking, why has no one invented a power source that needs no fuel? Why?!?!?
TTorque
[Back in the auditorium][In a somewhat disgruntled tone] Pffft. I didn't know that!
I made the Perpetual Energy Generator, or, as I call her, PEG. Tonight, I activate it. If it works, we never have to worry about power again! If it doesn't, it'll send out a wave of doom that will destroy all life on Earth!
SSpectator
What was that last part?
[Dib's future self concludes a lengthy explanation as to how he's in the past]
FDFuture Dib
...so, it's up to you now.
Wow. I'm boring! Do I always explain everything like this?
S1 E14Door to Door
[In the classroom a student is held in mid air by a harness and is stacking cards in a tower]
Now, add the dead weight of students like you.
[The child adds a huge stack of cards to the tower. It sways dangerously]
So you can see, children, that our whole society is nothing more than a perilous house of cards...
[The tower collapses into a heap]
...destined to collapse under its own weight!
Why iiisss his head so big? Whyyy's his head so biiig?
[Zim watching buyer choke violently on the candy bar]
Uh-huh, that's the sawdust.
YAY, I'M GONNA BE SICK! [throws up on Zim]
Who are you?!?
PDPoop Dog
I am-
Who are you?!?
PDPoop Dog
I am-
Who are you?!?
PDPoop Dog
I am Poop Dog!
MMutant
Pweeeease? For the childwen!
GMr. Grout
[voice only] We'll buy your candy! We'll buy your candy!
Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.
SCSchool Children
Awww...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Invader Zim pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.