Mr. Howard had every right to be mad at me. I was texting in class.
Okay, okay. Nothing can put me in a bad mood. You guys hooked me up so I could talk to my dad on his birthday. That's it. Your both gettin' hugs.
SFSam and Freddie
Umm, well, no, no-
No, no c'mon. It's happening, your getting hugs. Your getting a hug. I love you guys. [Sam and Freddie thank her during the hug] I love you.
[The trio walk in to find Spencer sitting on the couch joined by agents.]
KAgent Kinsey
I'm Agent Kinsey, these are Agents Farrow and Morris.
FAgent Farrow
We're with the United States Secret Service.
KAgent Kinsey
This is about your recent webcast.
FAgent Farrow
To a secure military base over-seas.
[The three of them look very worried]
[The agents are investigating the apartment.]
KAgent Kinsey
Just relax Ma'am.
How can we relax when 3 secret service agents are tearing our apartment to pieces?!
FAgent Farrow
We're just checking your place out.
FAgent Farrow
Let's just say that your recent iCarly webcast caught the attention of someone very high up in the US Government.
[tries to comfort Sam] Stay calm.
I can't stay calm! I promised my mom I wouldn't cause any more trouble with the US Government!
FAgent Farrow
[His machine bleeps] Clear.
KAgent Kinsey
Alright, we're done here for now. Please don't leave town until we contact you again.
KAgent Kinsey
Just don't leave town.
[The 4 of them stand there looking at the agents very shocked]
Okay. [sounding scared] Thanks for watching iCarly!
[The agents leave the apartment]
[Carly gives Spencer a hug looking really upset, as if she's about to cry.]
[Carly and Freddie meet at the lockers.]
No. Nobody's seen her all day.
[whispers to Carly and Freddie] Psst! Over here.
[Carly and Freddie head over to Sam]
Getting stuff. [starts getting things out of her school bag] Here's a wig for you, [puts a wig on Carly's head] and a wig for you. [puts a wig on Freddie's head] Passport for Carly and a passport for this one. [gives them each a passport]
We're blowing this country. We're heading to the airport and buying one-way tickets to Amsterdam.
Well you wanna stay here in this country and go to Federal Prison for hacking into a secure communications network?!
How are we gonna pay for one-way tickets to Amsterdam?!
Pfft. [gets out a bag of jewelery] I got all my mom's engagement rings. Now let's head into a coin shop turn this bling into cash and get the fugde out of dodge.
[men in suits come round the corner]
Uhh, I think it might be too late for that.
M1Man #1
Miss Shay, Mr Benson, Miss Puckett.
[In a deep manly voice] Puckett, uh, are you looking for Sam Puckett? She passed away. Funeral's Thursday bye. [begins to hurry off]
[Sam stops and turns around]
[throws her backpack onto the floor] Alright. [gets on her knees with her hands behind her head] Put the cuffs on loose would ya? I don't like it when they dig into my wrist.
M2Man #2
Just come with us. [Pulls Sam up]
So.. I'm confused, are we in trouble?
MOMrs. Michelle Obama
No, not at all!
She watched iCarly online last week.
Uh huh, my daughters are big fans and I am too.
[walks through Carly and Spencer's front door] Wait, is she-
[Carly, Sam and Freddie yell at T-Bo to leave]
[T-Bo quickly leaves]
So what are you doing here? Um.. your, excellency. [takes a small bow]
You don't call her your excellency.
OMrs. Obama
No, no, I kinda like it.
[Sam whacks her upper chest at Freddie and he pulls a 'what?!' face back at her]
OMrs. Obama
I came here to say, I'm proud of you.
OMrs. Obama
[points at Carly] Because of how much you care for your father, [then points at Sam and Freddie] and because of what you two did for your friend.
You mean, setting up the surprise birthday party on iCarly?
OMrs. Obama
Uh huh, my husband and I talk to a lot of people with family in the military.
[puts his hands on Mrs Obama's shoulders] Her husband is the president.
[Mrs. Obama's bodyguards reach into their pockets as if they're about to pull out guns and begin to make their way towards Spencer]
Sorry. [takes his hands off Mrs Obama's shoulders and takes a few steps back]
[after winning a bag of nuts and bots on iCarly] Now I can finally finish that robot!
[a government agent comes up to her and whispers something in her ear]
I'm not supposed to mention the robot?
[Gibby zips up his suitcase, then gets it up and pulls up the handle.]
Why are you bringing a big suitcase? We're just going to Canada for the day.
Yeah. So I brought some hair care products, uh, some extra batteries, a change of underpants.
[Freddie looks at the suitcase.]
[Takes his jacket from a jacket hanger] Come on, guys. We gotta hit the road. [Puts on his jacket]
We don't have to be at the Fat Cake Factory 'til one.
Yeah, but it's a two-hour drive. We gotta go through security at the border.
Why? It's not like Canada's a different country.
[Pause.]
I thought it was like Idaho.
Idaho's a state– in our country.
Look, I don't need a lecture.
You sure you're not gonna come?
I want to but I already bailed on Lance twice and he's really cool. And if I bail again, he's gonna think I don't like him, and I really do like him. Besides, I haven't kissed a guy in four months. I'm gettin' itchy.
Handsome Lance is picking me up at five o'clock. With his car.
So what are you gonna do 'til then?
Probably take a long hot bath, and I'll blow my hair out, maybe I'll do my nails–
[Sam, Freddie, Spencer, and Gibby leave as Carly looks on.]
Just gotta be calm, sooner or later someone will come in here, help me get my toe unstuck... AND SEE ME NAKED!
MManager
Which of you would like to try a Canadian Fat Cake?
[Sam kicks Gibby in the stomach and pushes him onto the floor]
PPolice Officer
What did you plan to do with all these Fat Cakes?
Send them on a trip down to my stomach, and I think we all know what would have happened to them after that.
[banging on a metal pole with the shower head] Help! Heelpp! Ausie Stance! Anyone?! Please! A cute boy is gonna be here any minute and I'm all wrinkled like an elderly raisin!! Urgh, this day could not get worse.
[walks into Carly's bathroom] Urgh, it's you!
Will you stop banging and screaming? I heard you all the way from my apartment.
Oh, [gasps] You bathe in your sweatshirt too? I thought I was the only one.
I don't bathe in my sweatshirt, I got my toe stuck in the fauset.
I saw some dumb person do it on the 'Dick Van Dike' show. C'mon, could you please just help me get it out?
[under her breath] Alright. I'll give it a yank. [sits down on the bath tub] Ready?
Okay, just be really careful ok-
[yanking on Carly's foot] Argh!
[Carly's date walks in]
LLance
Hey, everything alright?
LLance
Sorry, I heard screaming so I thought I should come up?
[holding pepper spray] Put your hands down!
[Lance lowers his hands]
LLance
[to Carly in a quite flirty voice] Hey.
[trying to act flirty in the bath tub] Heeyy.
Blah blah blah blaaaaahh.
I know you have a crush on me.
[A Malaysian man takes a red suitcase through the border, unaware that it is Gibby's and that Sam is inside.]
[Inside the suitcase] Gibby?
[To Freddie and Gibby] Okay, let's get outta here.
[To Gibby] Grab Sam, let's go.
[Takes a red suitcase, unaware that it is the Malaysian man's and that Sam is not inside] Ooh. Sam's light.
[Freddie, Spencer, and Gibby make their way through the border.]
FSFreddie, Spencer, and Gibby
[Chanting, in unison] U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
[On a flight to Hong Kong with an airplane landing at Kai Tak Airport.]
AAnnouncement
Thank you for flying Air Malaysia. We'll be landing shortly.
[Inside the suitcase] Freddie?! Spencer?! Gibby?! Are we still in Canada?!
[T-Bo lifts up a sign that says 'Warning']
[T-Bo puts down the sign]
You're about to watch a very special episode of iCarly.
It's not for normal people.
You might find it, disturbing.
[They all lift up bowls of soup.]
As you enjoy this special new episode of iCarly.
[All of them eat a spoonful of soup]
