Someone should notify your wife that she's married to a jerk!
HIHealth Inspector
I'm divorced.
Lucky her!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
I'm at the junkyard bright 'n early this morning...
You sure you didn't wake up at noon?
... So I'm at the junkyard, about 2:30.
I'm not all about goofy antics and spontaneous fires.
But ... mostly, you are?
Well, yeah.
So, I have to learn about boring Russian films and how to speak Mandarin Chinese.
He speaks Chinese?
Fluently, and all I know is [in Mandarin Chinese] Wo bu zhi dao!
What's that mean?
I don't know.
How could you not know what it means?
I do know. It means. "I don't know."
[taping cheat notes to various places] He's gonna be here any minute! You know, you could help me!
[polishing her big fork] I gotta keep my fork shiny and lubed in case a meal breaks out!
[Sam impales a piece of bread with her big fork]
Hey! Hey! Keep your giant fork out of my date-bread.
The big fork wants what the big fork wants.
KKyle
More cheat notes! And you misspelled "Russia"!
Well my arm doesn't have a spell check!
A girl who is clearly to my right, Jennette McCurdy.
You know you could interview me?
About what?
iCarly.
I'm on Victorious.
Yeah, yeah, awesome show.
Yes; we were nominated for an Emmy.
Yeah I know... so was iCarly.
[holding a jar of 'Christopher Cane's Salsa] What am I supposed to do with this?
Look into the X camera and say "Christopher Cane's Salsa rocks my mouth."
I.. I really don't feel comfortable doing that.
Ryan Seacrest said it. He ate the whhooole jar.
Ok-
Are you saying you're better than Ryan Seacrest?
I.. I never said I was better than-
Look into the X camera and say it!
Fine! [holds up the jar of 'Christopher Cane's Salsa'] "Christopher Cane's Salsa rocks my mouth."
Try it with more enthusiasm.
No, I said it, now let's just watch my bloopers ok?!
You're very pushy, but alright.
[ham falls off her fork onto the floor] The smart guy from the smoothie? [whilst trying not to laugh]
Yeah!
Cut!
[Jennette and Miranda giggle and laugh]
Shut Up! [throws a tray on a cast member's foot]
Hold!
[to the cast member whos foot she trew the tray at] Are you ok?
CMCast Member
[while hopping] Oh yeah, almost lost a foot there..
[they all giggle]
[sings] "My moustache is dangling from my face."
[The actor who plays Marty pushes Jerry in his seat under the table]
It's like-
[Jennette spits her water out all over the table and everyone begins to laugh]
[laughs so much that he falls off his stool]
Sorry. [begins to laugh]
[laughs hysterically with Jerry about what she's just done]
Sam loves Freddie!
Quit it!
Sam loves Freddie!
Carly!
Sam loves-
[Jennette rolls off the bed and falls into the picture]
Hold!
[gets up] I'm good.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's iCarly pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.