Allison Cameron quotes from House

Dr. Cameron

Depriving her of even the few minutes of sleep she does have that's torture.

Dr. House

So is cutting people with knives. You can totally get away with that if you have a doctor's coat on.

Dr. Cameron

[about the patient] We've got rectal bleeding.

Dr. House

What, all of you?

Dr. Cameron

Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a six-foot long hose shoved into your large intestine?

Dr. House

No, but I now have a much greater respect for whichever basketball player you dated in college.

Dr. House

Talk to the dog?

Dr. Cameron

We're not as up on foreign languages as you are.

Dr. House

Cop with a sense of humor, differential diagnosis, guy's in the ER, bleeding on everybody.

Dr. Foreman

Drugs?

Dr. Chase

He's a cop.

Dr. Foreman

Good point, how about... drugs?

Dr. House

Tox screen was clean, he did however get hit with a bullet. Just mentioning.

Dr. Cameron

He was shot?

Dr. House

No, somebody threw it at him.

Dr. Cameron

[Referring to Foreman] He doesn't like cops.

Dr. House

[Very sarcastic] Foreman, policemen are our friends. If you and I are ever separated shopping...

Dr. Cameron

The chance of infection is next to nothing.

Dr. House

Yeah, I was never great at math, but next to nothing is higher than nothing, right?.

Dr. Cameron

Foreman's black.

Dr. House

What?! How long have you been sitting on this information?

Dr. Cameron

You feeling any better?

Dr. Foreman

I can't breathe, I'm dizzy, and I can barely hear anything over the sounds of my lungs crackling.

Dr. Cameron

That's the Legionellosis.

Dr. Foreman

[sarcastically] Well, you figure that out from the symptoms or the vial of stuff tossed in my room?

Dr. Cameron

I'm trying to be professional here, there's no reason to be nasty.

Dr. Foreman

I'm in pain!

Dr. Cameron

So's House.

Dr. Foreman

And he's a delight.

Dr. Cameron

He doesn't try to kill his colleagues.

Dr. House

He's got a temperature of 103.

Dr. Foreman

And why do we care?

Dr. House

Because we're human beings. It's what we do. Said he was at a luncheon meeting.

Dr. Cameron

You took his history?!

Dr. House

Guy looks like Harpo. You should see him.

Dr. Chase

You asked him what book he's currently reading.

Dr. House

It's hilarious to watch him try and talk. I asked him anything I could think of. Favorite color? "Bwuu."

Dr. House

Favorite dessert topping? [The patient hesitates.] Trust me, you'll never know what fact may be the key to saving your life.

Whip cweam.

You want to let a robot operate on me?

Dr. Cameron

The technology is amazing. It magnifies everything ten times, it's ten times the accuracy.

No way, I want a person!

Dr. Cameron

A person will be controlling the—

Dr. House

People suck. People have turned you from a guy with a swollen tongue into a guy with one eye, one ball and a stapled-on face. If you want someone to hold you while you cry yourself to sleep at night, choose warm and soft. If you want someone to write you a poem, pick the sensitive loner. If all you care about is that something's done right, pick the guy with the metal head.

Dr. House

Relax Cameron, I'm not going to cut you. I just want to show what this puppy can do. I can make one millimeter incisions. You know how small that is? Small even in metric. If I do something that doesn't make sense, even to you, stop me. [He moves the robot's tweezer hand down to stroke Cameron's cheek.] Delicate, no? [He then lifts up the hem of her shirt and uses the air hand to blow air into her belly button. And then he cuts off a button on her blouse, peeling part of the shirt away to reveal her bra.]

Dr. Cameron

House.

Dr. House

Does that hurt? [Cameron shakes her head.]

Dr. House

[to Vince] Seen enough?

No.

Dr. House

That wasn't a question.

Dr. Cameron

We should give her a local.

Dr. House

That would defeat the point of me being nasty.

Dr. House

I need a laser pointer.

Dr. Cameron

We don't have a laser pointer.

Dr. House

Well, why not? Who's going to take us seriously if we don't have a laser pointer?

Dr. Cameron

[about Ezra's unethical research] He injected newborn babies with radioactive agents just to see if they'd urethral reflux.

Dr. House

He was curious.