Eric Foreman quotes from House

Taub

I'm totally fine. I aced my first pathology boards.

Foreman

Medicine's come a long way in the last hundred years.

Foreman

You're nothing but excuses and distractions.

Taub

Well, it's a nice match with your condescension and superiority.

Foreman

Why are you giving me these?

House

Because, while they're off running all these tests, you will be submitting the insurance forms.

Foreman

There's an entire department for that.

House

Exactly. The Foreman Department. Of which you are the foreman, Foreman.

Foreman

Are you wearing my tie?

Taub

Oh, I saw it in your closet, and it happened to match my shirt.

Foreman

Why were you in my closet?

Taub

Looking for a tie. What's the big deal?

House

Obviously, he wants you out of the closet for some reason. I suspect marriage, but I'm liberal that way.

Foreman

What is it with you and this kid?

Taub

He's doggy-paddling in a sea of misery.

Foreman

How far did you have to reach back for that memory? Last night? Sometimes I hear you in the living room watching TV at 3:00 a.m.

Taub

That's when classic Doctor Who comes on the BBC.

Foreman

Yeah, if only they had some device that allowed you to record them and watch them another time.

House

Who's in charge?

Foreman

House, as long as you're not here, someone has to have the final…

House

Let me rephrase. Who's your daddy?

Taub

You're mad.

Foreman

No. Actually, I'm impressed. Messing around on a 22-year-old hottie with your wife on my sofa. You're a full-throttle head case.

Taub

I was doing you a solid with the sofa. Rachel wanted to do it in your bed. You've got the memory foam top.

Foreman

Let's make this really simple: If I own it, I don't want you doing it on it.

Taub

You might want to get rid of your kitchen table. Look, I'm sorry.. [slightly laughing] but it was worth it.

Foreman

Sounded a lot like… Thirteen.

House

It's a Thirteen tribute band with their new song, "I've got a better theory than Masters."

Foreman

I'm glad you're gonna be sticking around after today.

Really? You want me to stay?

Foreman

It's good to add a different perspective to the department. Someone who still remembers there are rules other than House's.

If I don't play by House's rules, he won't let me in.

Foreman

Find a way around them.

I'd have to lie to him, which is still lying.

Thirteen

Lying about a lie, that's practically telling the truth.

Thirteen

Karma's a bitch.

Foreman

You think her seizures are the result of bad karma?

Thirteen

I think if you spend your days designing ever more effective ways to blow people up, stuff's bound to come back to you.

Wilson

If he's ignoring you, it's because he trusts you.

Foreman

No, it's not.

Wilson

No, it's not, but he does.

Foreman

Thanks. I feel warm inside.

Foreman

My theory is that he's only avoiding us because he really wants to avoid you.

Cuddy

Ma nishtana.

Cuddy

You made it through med school without ever attending a seder? It means, "Why is this night different from all other nights?"

Dr. Eric Foreman

Get this straight. You break the law, you go back to jail. Scam extra Vicodin, back to jail. Flout my authority, make the hospital look bad, back to jail. I own you.

House

Yassa, massa.

Foreman

See, that would be an example.

Foreman

House, I worked for you for 7 years. I know how you operate. So when I see symptoms magically show up right when you need them...

House

And I was your boss for 7 years, and I know what a suspicious, micromanaging hardass you are.

Foreman

As the new Dean of Medicine, I'd like to personally welcome our new employees, and ask why the Hell did you want to come back?

Dr. Robert Chase

Tired of surfing.

Foreman

He hasn't changed.

Chase

And neither has the job, right? We still get to do crazy crap.

Dr. Chris Taub

Save people's lives instead of just their noses.