Gregory House quotes from House

Taub

So the only time you're not interested in my marriage is after you blow it up?

House

You were the moron who took marital advice from Tila Tequila.

Thirteen

A woman who likes sex must be sick?

House

Just because everybody in this room wishes that all women were horny all the time, doesn't make it so.

Taub

Seriously? Our patient's dying and we can't move past my sex life?

House

Seriously, you think it'd kill her if we spent 15 seconds mocking you?

House

I woke up in the wrong bed this morning.

Any bed you're in is the wrong one.

House

That's not what your mama said. Oh! Snap.

I'll be going now. To Human Resources.

Thirteen

I'm gonna check out this new lesbian bar tonight.

House

Your life is awesome.

Thirteen

Yeah, it sucks what he's doing to her too. But it's hardly the same. To be faithful to his wife, our patient has to deny his identity. Taub just needs to...

House

Resist his biological imperative.

Thirteen

It is easier to say no to dessert than to pretend you don't eat.

House

Says someone who's obviously never been on a diet.

House

If history is written by the victor, how do we find out what really happened?

Chase

Talk to the loser.

Cuddy

I just want us to be friends.

House

Funny. That's the last thing I want us to be.

You're late.

House

You're fat.

House

Aren't therapists supposed to be nurturing?

Nowhere... is that in the manual.

Have you gotten any other people angry at you over anything?

House

Well, yeah. That's why I called it an ordinary week.

House

Crush syndrome is basically a buildup of potassium. If we remove potassium...

Cuddy

We're already treating with sodium bicarbonate.

House

But not with glucose and Insulin. Glucose in the Kit. There's gotta be a diabetic here somewhere.

Cuddy

You wanna dose the Insulin here in a non-hospital setting? That is insane! It's not worth it.

House

Really? 'Cause I think I'm the only one here who knows what a leg is worth. And fortunately, you're not the one in charge--he is. And he knows that I'd testify against him if Hanna sues for cutting off a leg without exhausting every option.

Cuddy

[to fireman] Give us a minute. [To House] I know you're angry, but please don't put her life at risk just to get back at me.

House

Really? Wow. So this is all about you now.

Cuddy

You took her side against me right after you heard about my engagement.

House

Yeah. That must be it. It's not that you're a pathetic narcissist.

Cuddy

I don't love you. So just... Accept it and move on with your life instead of making everyone miserable.

House

That's great. A life lesson from a middle-aged single mom who's dating a man-child.

Cuddy

Screw you. I'm sick of making excuses for you. I'm sick of other people having to tiptoe around you and make their own lives worse while they try to keep you from collapsing. I'm done.

House

Fantastic. Just stay away from my patient.

Cuddy

What are you clinging to, House? You're gonna to risk her life just to save her leg? Really worked out well for you, didn't it? What do you have in your life, honestly? Tell me. I'm moving on. Wilson is moving on. And you... You've got nothing, House. Nothing. I'm going down there, and I'm gonna convince her to let me cut her leg off. If you have any decency left, you'll just stay out of it.

House

You asked me how I'd hurt my leg. I had a blood clot, and the muscle was dying. And I had all these doctors telling me I should amputate, and I said no, and they did this... Very risky operation. I almost died.

But you saved your leg.

House

I wish I hadn't. They cut out a chunk of muscle about the size of my fist, and they left me with this mutilated, useless thing. I'm in pain... every day. It changed me. Made me a harder person, a worse person. And now... Now I'm alone. You don't want to be like me. You got a husband who loves you. You have friends. You can start a family. You have a life. And this... This is just a leg.

Foreman

You can't blame yourself for her death. This wasn't your fault!

House

THAT'S THE POINT!! I did everything right, she died anyway! Why the hell do you think that would make me feel any better?!

Foreman

You shouldn't be alone right now. You're bleeding.

House

I'm gonna give you a task as an employee. Get out of my way.

Cuddy

I ended it.

House

What?

Cuddy

I'm stuck, House. I keep wanting to move forward, I keep wanting to move on, and I can't. I mean, my new house, with my new fiancé, and all I can think about is you. I just need to know if you and I can work.

House

You think I can fix myself?

Cuddy

I don't know.

House

'Cause I'm the most screwed up person in the world.

Cuddy

I know. I love you. I wish I didn't. But I can't help it.